The Best James Bond Theme Songs

[Seat68]

 "I'm Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in The Onedin Line comes in and goes "Why are the cups wobbling? What's going on?" And then... yeah, you can stop doing that now.

And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. The submarine's being eaten by a giant tanker." And then we cut to Moscow. And there's a man there and he's Russian, he's got eyebrows, you know, and he's on the phone going "What, a whole submarine? You're joking! I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!" Right, and then, and then it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Yeah, yeah. He's, he's necking with her. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Something's come up."

Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes "Right, I've had enough of that! Just stop it!" And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp and he lands on his feet, uh, I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he's falling and you think, oh God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die! But then at the last minute...

Glang! Glangalangalangalangalangalang! Glangalang, langalangala, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you're the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, daa. I wasn't looking and somehow you found me - ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love light - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger, ooh, look at that - Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks - The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman, legs go right apart - ooh, what was that? Too late - Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best!"

 

And scene.

 

[The Fun Factory]

4 hours ago, Seat68 said:

I will say everything that came after All Time High is, and I am not stuttering, dog shit. Without exception everything that followed has been poor and not fit to soundtrack the film, Adele, Cornell, Duran Duran, all shit, Jack White, Billie Eillish, Tina Turner, all of it wank. Before and including All Time High, all excellent, after, load of bollocks.

Amen to that.  The last decent Bond film was Goldeneye. Then it went silly with car chases on ice (yes I know Moore went to the Moon but still) and then took itself far too seriously with Daniel Criag.

And I know  its bad to speak ill of the dead though the film was good Goldeneye theme was a turd. Thanks to Bono and The Edge.

[Xann]

Saw John Barry at the Royal Albert Hall performing his film work.

When he was talking about the various artists he'd worked with, he cringed noticeably when he mentioned Duran Duran.

It gave the audience a good giggle.

[The Fun Factory]

3 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

 "I'm Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. Then the cups start wobbling and then a man who used to be in The Onedin Line comes in and goes "Why are the cups wobbling? What's going on?" And then... yeah, you can stop doing that now.

And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. The submarine's being eaten by a giant tanker." And then we cut to Moscow. And there's a man there and he's Russian, he's got eyebrows, you know, and he's on the phone going "What, a whole submarine? You're joking! I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. See ya!" Right, and then, and then it cuts to James - Roger Moore - and er, yes, he's with a lady. Yeah, yeah. He's, he's necking with her. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Something's come up."

Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And, er, he's just skiing along like that, and they start shooting at him, and he goes "Right, I've had enough of that! Just stop it!" And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp and he lands on his feet, uh, I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. And then, then he goes over a cliff and he's falling and you think, oh God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die! But then at the last minute...

Glang! Glangalangalangalangalangalang! Glangalang, langalangala, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you're the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, daa. I wasn't looking and somehow you found me - ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love light - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger, ooh, look at that - Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks - The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman, legs go right apart - ooh, what was that? Too late - Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best!"

 

And scene.

 

 GLANG GLANGA-LANGA LANGA LANGA LANGA LANG.

[GarethRDR]

In mild defence of the Jack White/Alicia Keys one (very mild, I acknowledge it's largely the thinnest of gruels), I apply almost the same logic as Live And Let Die; the opening guitar riff into the staccato hits is top stuff and it's a goddamn crime that everything outside of that quickly falls apart.  I definitely tend towards those Bond themes that have those instantly recognisable quickfire gut punches over the ballads and crooning ones (the Chris Cornell one does nothing for me, for example).