rjw63 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Remember that news footage a few years ago showing Michael Jackson dangling a young child from a hotel balcony? Odd, because he normally just tosses them off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I phoned a child abuse line the other day. The kid at the other end of the line told me to **** off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 With the Strictly Come Dancing final on tonight, I've been wondering who will get knocked out first. It'll probably be my girlfriend, as I want to watch the football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Rape: because I'm a lover AND a fighter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 What's nine inches long and dangles in front of a word removed? Alex mcLeish's tie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 The 90 or so minutes, the teamwork, the scoring, the noise, the passion, the ecstasy, the intensity, the satisfaction after the end of it all. I love gang rape Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I got my son his first razor today. I watched as he scraped away the foam and made sure he did not cut himself. I looked down with pride when he had towelled off and said, "Remember son, your cock looks much bigger without pubes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeFoSho Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 My first is in Thames, but not in Mersey, My second is in patio, but not in decking, My third is in cellar, but not in loft, My fourth is in lunch but not in dinner, What am I? Well, it's actually a list of where my first four victims ended up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeFoSho Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Statistically, two out of three little pigs will use inferior building materials to construct their houses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeFoSho Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 When a Princess dies, you get no tits on page three for about two weeks. It's what she would have wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his penis. A woman asks, "What are you?" He says, "I'm a Fireman" "But you're only wearing a glass jar?" says the woman. "Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob and I'll come as fast as I can" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Donald Duck goes on a dirty weekend but forgets his condoms, he calls down to reception, asks for a pack of three. Reception asks "Shall I put them on your bill?" Donald replies "Don't be **** stupid! I'll suffocate!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Statistically, what is it that 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparey16 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 It's my birthday. I got a Rolex off the lesbians who live next door. Bit disappointed though. When they asked me last week what present I'd like, what I actually said was 'I wanna watch'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparey16 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Details of Jade Goody's funeral requests have been released. She is to be cremated and a small amount of her ashes put into dozens of small silk pouches which will be handed out to mourners at the end of proceedings. This way everyone will leave with a Goody bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark_bennett Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Out of Jade Goody and Harry Hill who has got the best shaven head?? There's only one way to find out.....FIGHT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
West Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Details of Jade Goody's funeral requests have been released. She is to be cremated and a small amount of her ashes put into dozens of small silk pouches which will be handed out to mourners at the end of proceedings. This way everyone will leave with a Goody bag. Cracker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian recommends the Qur'an. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cizzler Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his penis. A woman asks, "What are you?" He says, "I'm a Fireman" "But you're only wearing a glass jar?" says the woman. "Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob and I'll come as fast as I can" Or the guy in only his underwear, who went as a premature ejectulator. "I just came in my pants". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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