villahero
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Everything posted by villahero
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There there my dear - Dexys
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i've just been diagnosed as a coeliac so no more lager and i'm now joining Rob on the old tramp's juice...i tried one last night called ' henry Weston ' as it says it's suitable for coeliacs. I had 3 of the larger bottles.....and i've just about got the feeling in my teeth back
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BOF....need your answers to these... 1. Bacon sandwich, butter or no butter ? 2. Chocolates, 'Roses' or 'Quality street' ?
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I've just saw a fat ginger girl buying a rape alarm !!! You've got to admire her optimism.
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Bloke at the races whispers to Paddy " Do you want the winner of the next race ? "...Paddy says " no thanks, i've only got a small garden "
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At least after the 2022 world cup,Qatar will have some cracking stadiums to stone women in !!
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Bloke walks into WHSmith and asks " Do you have that new self help book for guys with small dicks ?".....the woman behind the counter replies " i don't think it's in yet "....the bloke says " yes, that's the one "
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I'd piss in his hand sanitizer whilst he aint looking
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Just got myself some new aftershave that smells like breadcrumbs................. the birds **** love it
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Bofster if you had to choose, what limbs would you prefer to keep....your arms or your legs ?
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I caught the wife watching a cookery programme today. I laughed and said " but you can't cook ! " She replied " well...you watch porn " Cheeky bitch
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A big lardy bird approached me at the pub last night and said " Hi, i'm Anita " I looked her up and down and replied " yeah , your not wrong you fat bitch "
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Frankie Boyle in his column today... " Amy Winehouse says she is now clean...i don't know whether she's taking drugs or not but one thing that woman isn't and that's ' clean '. Her skin looks like the floor of a ' Wetherspoons '. She says she's not taken drugs for 3 years now. By my calculations they must be wearing off just about now...In fairness, Amy looks great - assuming she died in 2007. She says she wants to " start a family "....but passed out before she could finish saying " - sized bottle of vodka " I don't know who i feel more sorry for - Amy or the lice who became junkies while infesting her hair.
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looks more like Beverley Callard...( it's the mouth )
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saw ' Machete ' last night.....Steven Seagal looks like he's eaten a farm. ( oh and he's shit as usual )
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you've obviously never seen ' August Underground ' then ?...my god !!!!
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A Paedophile, a Hypocrite, a Homophobe and a Nazi walk into a bar....the barman says " Hello your holiness "
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A person i work with's child is singing on the day with ( wait for it .....)....Susan Boyle !!!...and has to be at their school for 4AM !!! in order to clear all the security checks !!!
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Anyone know who the support act is ?
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Rinse me down- The Bombay Bicycle Club....great Sunday afternoon track
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i don't know why the muslims are so unhappy...The ' Kerrang ' is a shite magazine anyway
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Stephen Hawkin has just returned from his first date in years covered in bruises with a broken wrist...........apparently she stood him up
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Wayne Rooney....Ashley Cole....John Terry....Vernon Kay .....Mark Owen What do they all have in common ? They all have wives who obviously need to make much more of a **** effort !!!!
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from what i believe, it will take the same direction as the film....1st 2 episodes light hearted then ' Combo ' will emerge to take it darker for the last 2
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just watched ' Unthinkable '....the best performance from Samuel L Jackson since Pulp Fiction.....and Michael Sheen isn't bad in it too !!!