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LancsVillan

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Everything posted by LancsVillan

  1. Those Sumo's were hilarious. I remember the 0-0 draw against Spurs that season, Deano hitting the post twice and having one cleared from over the line (as Andy Gray proved with his action replay machine a few years back by Justin Edinburgh). That was another entertaining game and that Spurs game was the one where I 'met' blandy for the very first time those Sumo's were actually Risso and his mate trying to find their seats agree that goals do not necessarily mean excitement just poor defending ;-)
  2. Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one... Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ... Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .... Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it! Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it. Customer: I have problems printing in red... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: No. Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working. Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening... Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work! Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? A customer couldn't get on the internet. Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears! Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you? Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
  3. surely you mean didn't deserve the abuse he got! - true as for how good they are in that air for hieght they are both equally crap, that is more to do with the fact that they were tall early in life and never had to fight for the aerial ball like you do in open aged football
  4. people not realising it the poll was specific to being in the premiership?
  5. yep :-) and I agree with your summary of them all too
  6. didn't say anything differently just proving the problem with looking at stats on their own that Marny at Spurs has a brilliant strike rate a goal per game let's sign him
  7. yep says he hasn't the number of games that others have
  8. I went for other - ForSale then again he isn't theirs is he
  9. could well be the latter and I agree with you lex, the list might have been handed over prior to the chelsea game and therefore DOL might have changed his mind since then and knows he needs to keep the cash for spending elsewhere
  10. A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House," in French, is feminine - "la maison." "Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender,and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer), because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won.
  11. hmm Batman the 'original' was about 20 years before this one surely and was better
  12. mine all mine . shameless, or that one with the nurses Little Britian is the biggest waste of half an hour you can spend, I really dislike it, almost as bad as The League of Gentlement
  13. oh yes indeedy, in fact I remember more cartoons from those times than any other programme type
  14. yep me too ut then as you only slightly older than me it's not a surprise
  15. Once upon a time there was a female brain cell who accidentally ended up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?" Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away... "We're down here!"
  16. what was the one they used to show during the banana splits where the car shrunk and was obvously the inspiration for the "Honey I shrunk...." films
  17. can remember an away game way back way a chant went up "Dangermouse" "SuperTed" in the same way we used to have "Left Side" "Right Side" chants
  18. just about every cartoon is better than the bottom three I cannot stand any of them but the best ever......... Scooby Doo or The Arabian Knights
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