HanoiVillan

Yes, I agree. I never liked that either.

Yes sir, sorry sir, three bags full sir.

Well to be fair he already has the charismatic dress sense.

Anything could happen! Although given N'Zogbia's contract runs out in a few weeks, he's probably not the most likely emergent leader.

Hear me out here TRO. Of course it would begin as a catastrophe. They wouldn't know who to pick, there'd be fights, failures and all that shite. They'd be an unprofessional rabble, but then they are already. My cunning wheeze, though, is to say to the players 'we're not going to sell anyone for the next five years. You leave when your contract ends, no sooner'. So if they wanted to salvage anything from their careers, they'd need to start trying. Sooner or later, they'd have to co-operate and work together. A leader, who actually gave a shit, even if just to ensure that his career didn't die, would emerge from the bunch. I'm operating here on the 'spiderman principle' - they need power before they will take responsibility. And there'd be no shirking that responsibility - the club would say no coaches or directors would be sacked, whatever happened on the pitch. All on the players' heads. I love this idea, and I'm going to begin a one-man campaign for it.

I think we should try going without a manager. I don't mean keep Eric Black, I mean literally without a manager. Like how they don't have a government in Spain at the moment. Turn the players into an autonomous collective, see what happens. I started this comment as a poorly-thought-out joke, but I actually quite like the idea now.

I couldn't give a **** where he goes as long as he's not in claret and blue next season.

Then we would know there's only a cruel and remorseless God.

You know what though, guys? I've just had a lovely thought: we won't have to go to Man Utd at all next season.

**** Mane RUINS it for everyone, bell piece.

I think it looks like a trash bag for medical waste personally.

FUNES MORI! Fantasy week back alive!

I'm not ready to talk about Fantasy Football yet. If Southampton score I'm going to be like Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down'.

Really, how have they managed not to score more than once? Pretty shameful stuff from them to be honest. No wonder they're not going to make top 4.

Is this a new rapper that the kids like or something?

Ghey.

So it's just that you think he's a bad manager? This doesn't make any sense. If he's as bad as you say, then he'll be sacked in short order. If not, well, then we'll have won some football matches for a change won't we? Then he wouldn't be a bad manager.

I'm confused as to why appointing Gareth Southgate would mean the end of your support of the club.

Well, this week's already got off to a terrible start, no Lukaku, no Mitrovic, not looking good.

Yes, that's how it seems to me too. The club seem to be publicly and carefully explaining why he's unavailable for selection, giving more information than you'd imagine is strictly necessary. I don't think it'll have escaped anyone's notice that he's on an enormous wage that will be extremely difficult to carry next season, yet he's only scored once this season and has frequently been unavailable for selection due to non-injury-related physical fitness concerns. Engineering a move to the Emirates would probably be best for all concerned at this point.

I have no idea whether 'a healthcare assistant' is a direct subordinate of a ward manager, and therefore whether this scenario you've outlined might actually happen, but to be completely fair 'manager gets sacked, assistant has to step in' is hardly an earth-shattering occurance. Any assistant manager should be prepared to step in, it's just part of the job. However, I do feel a bit for Black, I don't suppose we'd win a game this season no matter what he did.

Obviously that isn't the height of anyone's ambitions. If that's worrying you, you can relax.

He might be Swedish, but he talks like a true Brummie!

Once I've replaced Jagielka tonight, together with the bench boost my players will be playing up to 30 matches this week, which should be enough to rocket up the rankings.