andykeenan

Not many Small Heath fans at Stoke s**t support my lrod. Even we took half that stand on a Mondasy night

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and asked, "May I see your driver's license?" The driver answered, "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI." The officer asked, "May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?" The driver answered,"It's not my car. I stole it." The officer asked, "The car is stolen?" The driver answered, "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there." The officer asked, "There's a gun in the glove box?" The driver answered, "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk." The officer asked, "There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?" The driver answered, "Yes, sir." Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by! police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation. The Captain asked, "Sir, can I see your license?" The driver answered, "Sure. Here it is." It was valid. The Captain asked, "Who's car is this?" The driver answered, "It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card." The driver owned the car. The Captain asked, "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?" The driver answered, "Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it." Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. The Captain asked, "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it." The driver answered, "No problem." Trunk is opened; no body. The Captain said, "I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk." The driver answered, "Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!"

Very dissapointed not to have come away with a point as really should have been 3 Was a decent performace really loads chances just wouldnt stick em away id worry if we didnt create chances but we are Bannan had a very good game but to be fair most young lads did Albrighton giving the free kick away was silly but he wil learn Fans were fantastic Fulham always a good day out

Will take a point but got a felling Fulham will beat us

Always a good day out Eight Bells near tube station will be rocking

I got lower tier. Might have half lower and upper

Well who ever it was didnt have a clue they were late giving out the info. Least uve got 1 now

Went down today got 1 been on sale since thursday or friday with 5 or more 2morrow is 3 or more

Got my ticket lower tier row 13

Gonna say 2-1 come on Villa

Very poor performane made hard work of it knew be in for a long night Mancy chance just couldnt put e away and if we had wouldnt have to go throgh all that extra time No forawrds frm te start and haing to play Ash up top could have played the Fonz give him a go

Cant wait bring i on

Yeh a pound

Gonna say 3-0 hopefully an early goal and get the job done early

A woman was on the way to winning £100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.' The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer. Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis." Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, "For £100,000, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds." "Um... the head." "Good. Eight seconds." "Um... the heart." "That's right. Five seconds." "Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..." "That's close enough! You've won £100,000!"

Tonights att for Brenford 15,166

1st half poor very poor Was in the 2nd row frezzing 2nd half we were much the better side and so many chaces how Heskey missed that chance i dont know your a forward ffs you cant miss form there. Ireland wernt good yet again dunno why To top the day off came out the ground got on the coach and got told coach had a flat battery and couldnt move didnt leave the ground til half 7 all of us on the coach went to the pub for 2 hours Sunderland fans were good with us

Both teams coming back of 0-0 draws. Hard place to go won there last season league and cup and after watched Sunderland against Blackburn cant play as bad. Can see us winning 1-2. Wil be up tere cherring the boys

From Sunderland website . Sunderland AFC can confirm that cash turnstiles will be in operation for Saturday's visit of Aston Villa. The Black Cats take on Gerard Houllier's side in a 3pm kick-off, in what is Sunderland's fifth home game of the 2010-11 Barclays Premier League campaign. Cash turnstiles 10, 12, 13 and 14 will be open from 1.30pm on the day of the game, with tickets priced at £28. Junior and over 65 concession tickets must be purchased from the ticket office, which is open from 10am until kick off on Saturday, priced at £10 for under 16s and £23 for over 65s and under 22s. Proof of age is required when purchasing any concession ticket.

Villa website Anyone who cannot collect their tickets prior to 6pm on Friday are advised that Sunderland will sell to Villa fans on the day of the game. They will be available on cash turnstiles - CASH ONLY. They are open from 1.30pm.

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Lol funny