Cizzler

edit: wrong thread

Oo.....er.. missus....? Or you could have said 'if i brought you over here with one finger, imagine what I could do with my fist?' :|

You can't circumcise a SHA fan! They're complete dicks

Didn't someone on here say he was wearing Salifou's Villa top during training? I think it was in the thread about the actual shooting. If so, although not quite the same as sporting the colours of your previous employers, it could hint at a somewhat lax attitude to what team's crest he wears.

Andy Gray and Richard Keys pisstake. I think it's bang on.

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This. I've read that she was rejected from some Bollywood movies for not being pretty enough too :/

Had a quick look on there, and after wading through some deluded 'noses views (McLeish > O'Neill, Bowyer + Ferguson > NRC, Petrov and Sidwell etc), an even unfunnier rendition of a Martin O'Neill team talk (where Gabby is mentally retarded, Carew is a playboy, Salifou/Osbourne mentioned for "humour") and an extract from Romeo and Juliet, I unfortunately couldn't find the L.Young/Davies-related comments. Could you link? Or paraphrase? I'm just interested to know how low the 'noses will sink these days.

Can anyone work out what happens in the Tennis one :? ?

I love questions like this. I'm thinking some sort of mid-size ursine platoon, about 35/40 bears. OT, but 'How much of yourself do you think you can eat before you'd die ?'

£29 I think ? Although, it is like 75 mins/125 texts... The next one up is the one I'm on. £35 a month, with like 600 mins and 500 texts. Pay as you go is £340-400, though.

Maybe, but I was definately promised a new model. I am not saying that the saleswoman was right, though

I have the Iphone 3G on contract, and was told I would get the Third Gen free - all I had to do was trade my Iphone in. Basically, she said I have a two year contract with Apple, and any updates of the Iphone they do I am entitled to. Is she lieing then :? ? Or is this the case with you lot too ?

Well if we are doing bad bar jokes, A man walks into a bar, with a baby giraffe on a lead, ties it to a chair in the corner, and has a pint. The man gets up to leave, when the barman says "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!". The man says "Thats not a lion, its a giraffe." :oops:

Course 8)

The other week, right. I was in bed with this girl. I gave my best performance ever. I looked at the clock - I'd taken an hour and one minute. What a result. That's my longest yet, by far! Then I realised the clocks had gone foward an hour :/ Bollocks.

Other African World Cup Qualifier scores... Egypt 8 - Ethiopia didn't ...

To make up for that, I'll give you a few of my favourite one-liners.. "This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say "Get a life!" on them" "The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face." "A computer once beat me at chess., but it was no match for me at kickboxing." "There are various ways to give up smoking - nicotine patches, nicotine gum. My auntie used to pour a gallon of petrol on herself every morning" "I'm in therapy at the moment. I don't need it, obviously, but I got all these psychiatrist gift vouchers for Christmas which my family clubbed together for. What I really wanted was a crossbow." "In Vegas I got into a long arguement with the man at the roullete wheel over what I considered to be an odd number." "I bought a pack of Animal Crackers and it said on it, 'Do not eat if seal is broken'. So I opened it up, and sure enough . . ." "I used to think the brain was the greatest organ in the human body, then I realised, 'Hey! Look who's telling me that!'"

How do you know when your sister's on her period ? Cos your dad's dick tastes funny.

Or the guy in only his underwear, who went as a premature ejectulator. "I just came in my pants".

James Milner once killed two stones, with one bird

Is your aim to put that in every thread ?

I don't think he'll leave Everton. Especially this transfer window. Why would he leave this Jan :S ? He's clearly settled at Everton, playing well, and without doubt a big fish in a small pond - where as at Arsenal he would be competing with Fabregas, Nasri etc. The only way I can see him leaving is if Everton are absolutely desperate for the money. Yet, who (for that price) could they replace him with ?

Isn't that contradictory