blandy

That looks unnatural, with an orange sky, but blue sea. Nice picture, but doesn't look "right" to me. Maybe it's a trick of the light?

Right as Rain by Deus

Another thank you for the mosaics. I can't explain why, exactly I'm so chuffed with them, I can't put it into words, but it's just brilliant. I guess it's a combination of pride, reflected "glory" that the stadium looks infinitely more classy, and harks back to the old mosaics and an appreciation that Randy's done it, perhaps for some of those same reasons. Whatever, it's just great.

That's brilliant Scott.

ta. I know what I meant. Sorted. :oops:

A report of a surreal day at a surreal ground as experienced by a scouting party from the North West Villans. The day started with a mixture of hail, sunshine and rain on my short trip to Bickster's house in Formby. That was about as normal as it got all day. It's true that the subsequent drive to Derby was routine enough, it's also true that the while the pub was a little bit special, and the beer both nutritious and delicious, and the company excellent, including another VTer, TrentVillan, nothing looked likely to really jolt us out of our happy and relaxed reverie. It was more a creeping thing. First off there was the ground - pretty much full, despite Derby's appalling season. I can think of plenty of places where that wouldn't be the case. Then there was the stadium announcer - without any sense of irony he was really trying to ramp up the importance of the game as an event. It didn't quite fit right. Sure both sets of fans, and (as it turned out) one set of players wanted to win, but come on - he was a bit detached from reality. As we Villans settled into position the atmosphere was good, both teams looking fairly evenly matched in terms of play, with perhaps Derby starting slightly the brighter. It wasn't to last that way though. Just as we were beginning to think that it wasn't going to be a walk over - Freddie Bouma with a last ditch tackle saving us from perhaps going behind, and that Derby weren't that bad after all, Roy Carroll came flailing out of his goal for one of Ashley Young's free kicks taken from our left, and he missed it. I don't know if Martin Laursen got a touch after that, or if it went straight in, but 25 minutes or so gone and we could settle ourselves down and try and play a bit more controlled football. Gareth Barry and Stan Petrov started to get a grip in centre midfield, Big John's hold up work came more to the fore and we began easing ourselves well on top. Within a couple of minutes we had another, Carew belting the ball powerfully through a crowd from the edge of the box. Not long before half time Roy Carroll decided to give us another helping hand - a poor kicked clearance went straight to Stan on the edge of the centre circle. Instantly Stan hit it back over Carroll's head, left footed and into the corner of the net. A goal of stunning skill. By now, it was like big boys taking the sweets from the small boys or a junior school side playing a senior school side. Every time the ball went loose, Villa picked it up. We were on song, but Derby were dire. They'd just collapsed. The second half started a bit like last weeks game - the struggling side, given a telling off at half time roused themselves for a bit of an effort, for a while, but it came to now't. Villa got back in control and scored a 4th - Gareth Barry knocking in a rebound after Gabby's shot was saved by Carroll when put through easily by the splendid Ashley Young. Around about this time, the Derby fans, who had been quiet, started a grand piece of theatre - for some reason they all started cheering wildly and chanting - perhaps in response to winning a throw in, or had Forest let in a goal elsewhere - I don't know. Gallows humour I suppose. It was followed by a succession of mexican waves. None of all this had anything whatsoever to do with their abject team. It was just the Derby fans making their own amusement. Quite a sight to see, and it all brought smiles and applause from the Villans in the ground. The last time we gave someone an away tonking like this was at Leicester about 3 years ago, and they went angry mental at their team. Derby were like "they're nothing to do with us, that lot on the pitch, we're just having fun" On the pitch Villa decided to score another one, after a period of wasting chances and moves breaking down. it was ridiculously one sided. Gabby this time scored after being put through by a rebound, I think. Martin O'Neill let Gareth and Big John have a rest, and Salifou and Marlon have a go at stealing sweeties. Marlon did the better of the two, as he helped himself to a thumping goal when Paddy Berger, the third sub just played him in. The game ended, we'd won 6-0, played well, Derby had been truly, desperately, bad. Their fans - the ones who stayed at least, were a credit. Some marks for our school bullies Carson - a Mars bar snaffled from a brilliant save in the second half. Olly - had a few goes at goal, had a forward in his pocket, and ended up with some Maltesers and a Toblerone for a good performance. Martin Laursen - Paul McGrath's wine gums? Zat - Smarties off Kenny Miller Freddie - A packet of spangles and a kit-kat for a solid bit of full-back play Nigel Reo Coker - had a terrific haul of opal fruits, but gave a number of them away. Stillain Petrov - a chocolate truffle was his reward for an brilliant goal and game. top man. Gareth Barry - Our Prefect garnered himself a selection of Bon-bons Ashley Young - Bassets allsorts for Ash, Plenty in his box. Big John - He's bigger than me or you and earned himslef a big Yorkie Bar for his efforts. Gabby - He wasn't quite a kid in a sweetshop today, but his sweet tooth for goals brought him a bag of Celebrations. None of the subs were on long, but they shared a haul of nutty slack. One last comment - at half time Derby let people out the ground to blink in the sun, buy food and toke on a gasper if they wanted. Very enlightened. We should do that at VP - the banished baked potato stall could be out there, too.

I and I is listenin' to Skanking Dub by Augustus Pablo

AYe, a ;lovely read, again. I'm slightly confused over one thing though - as we clearly dominated the game, made loads of chances and so on, was the finishing largely woeful? was their 'keeper outstanding? or did we just Arsenal about a lot?

The Villa do a podcast - search for it on iTunes to find it. interviews with MO'N and players, presumably off the club website, for those interested in that sort of thing.

Absolute scourge on humanity.though to be fair their efforts to prevent you going to see George Michael are slightly redemptive

it was written by the mighty Out By Easter, not Limpid, but either way, it's another belting report.

You just know there's an answer to that post, Risso Along the lines of do we need to quote a post to....etc. must resist, must resist.... Anyway, on topic, I think we've just got to go for it, and I'm hopeful that MO'N will do the business. The alternative is not something I want to think about.

Is it any wonder why we don't bother writing articles for the front page as much anymore when we get moronic statements like this? Thanks for "defending" the article, but really there's no need. If Shady didn't like it, I have no problem with him saying so. If we write stuff, then it's ok by me for people to comment on it, good or bad.

I believe what the club have told us. No doubt at all.

Aye.

I rather agree, Shady. Believe me, it was harder to write than to read. I did apologise at the start, but I'll do so again now, now I'm dried out from the rain. Sorry for wasting 2 minutes of your life.

A match report in which your correspondent fails to report almost anything of note. Apologies, dear reader, but I'm lost for what to say, or what to make of it all today. There was a game played. Villa, as is the case and has been the case for a very long time now, lost to Manchester United at Old Trafford - I was a teenager last time I saw us win there, 25 years ago. I've been to just about every game we've played there since that win in '83. The past decade or so, they've all been much the same, the games, with the odd exception. Managers have come and gone, many players too. The good, the bad, the indifferent. And always it's the same. Sometimes, like today, it rains and it rains and it rains. Other times the sun's been out. Always, as far as I can recollect, the end result is much the same. They win, we lose. Today we started brightly, for 12 minutes or so looking sprightly. Then they scored from a badly defended corner - the ball missed by the zonally marking defenders, hitting one of them, Bouma, I think, and Ronaldo quick to the ball knocked it into the net. Game over, really. Though it went on for much longer, of course, all that is to report is that United were bright, pacy, eager, talented and alert, and had plenty more chances, some scored, some saved, some missed - Rooney scored a couple, and Tevez the other - a header from a cracking cross by Rooney, with Nigel Reo-Coker dozing off on the wrong side of Tevez. Rooney's two goals were well taken. He missed a sitter, Shaun Maloney missed a sitter for us, they then scored. Oh, I give up - you'll have seen it on the telly, anyway. 3 of the goals were due to defensive lapses, perhaps, but at other times we defended well, individually. Look, who cares? It happened. The struggle I have is quite what to make of it, quite what it tells us. And I just don't know. I'm sure people will debate and discuss on the messageboard the significance of this that or the other for our prospects over the rest of the season, and into next even. But I just have no thoughts at all on the matter. Perhaps people will discuss why we played a central midfielder at right back. He did quite well, Nigel. Should we be doing it though? Perhaps people will look at the performances of individuals - why was Gabby so absolutely listless? was it his orange boots? Why was Zat dropped? - well I think we know why, on that one. Really I don't care. Not in a "I've had it with them" way. I just don't care in a "there's now't I can do about it" way. It's been going on for so long, it's so utterly predictable, whether it's Neil Cox or Earl Barrett, Paul McGrath or Olof Mellberg, Scot Carson or Tommy Sorensen...and so on. It's all just blended into one long repetitive pattern of them being better than us. Today's little rays of hope were Shaun Maloney, Stillian Petrov, Martin Laursen and Daddy Cool, sorry, Salifou - just mildly resembling Ian Taylor, by the way. Details details. What is Aston Villa Football Club going to do, or able to do about, y'know, just always losing at Old Trafford? Anything? Nothing? It's a big question, and one I feel goes to the heart of where the club's headed - Man United are the benchmark, the most successful club in England over the past decade plus. What can Villa do to replace them, anything? nothing? will we try, should we try? should we settle for being a self sustaining club? Is going to the games enough - just to watch and enjoy the football, without really worrying about that troublesome trophy business? That we lost this year, is neither here nor there, really. But equally, we can't just sit here, forever looking for a brighter future, can we? We sort of had a go - we lost 4-0 in part because we didn't go there for a 0-0. That's a start in my eyes. That approach, however forlorn it turned out to be, at least we wanted to take the game to them. Sporadically we were successful too, though let down, as I mentioned, by the defending. The playing staff is sort of partly geared towards the attacking approach, but let down by whatever lethargy got into Gabby in particular, and the complete lack of depth of the current squad. So perhaps we can improve the squad? But I've thought all these things before, in past seasons. It's just pattern recognition. So go on then Villa, shake me out of this sodden, soggy, rain drenched, 80 quid down the drain catatonia. Or maybe don't. You decide. I'll watch. I've shouted and sang, trekked all over the Country, sulked and celebrated, cursed and lauded - and nothing's changed. I'll go to the pub before the game, chat with friends, meet old friends, by chance, on the train, get soaking wet and sunburnt. Life will just go on. It's not a bad one. In fact it's a darned fine one. No marks this week. But Gabby wouldn't have scored highly.

Bicks and Billy - 2 cracking tunes.

Never mind the chaos (though it's no doubt a pain) the fact they've felt it necessary to reverse their finger print plan suggests that the public perception of the value benefits and drawbacks of all this ID bollex has switched. It's interesting, because it's happened before the numpties have pushed it all through in law. There's hope yet.

The New Elbow album - "Seldom seen kid", which is a cracker. "an audience with the pope" is playing at the moment.

No one's mentioned We had Joy, we had fun, We had City on the run, but the fun didn't last, 'cus the b*st*rds ran too fast Usually sung by people who never "ran" anyone. Oh, weren't the 70's grand.

Definitely a workaholic, Pelle - self confessed to working even though you don't know for sure that you need to (to get money for your car). When you get some time off, you'll feel like you've earned that even more, I'd bet.

The point about " do they work?" (in the Military context) is a good one. In addition to Awol's answer, it's worth noting that they work alongside guards, fences, and so on. On their own they are not anything particular. They're just a credit card document that gives blood group, photo rank, etc. (or they did when I was in the military). They're not biometric, the "checking" is just via a photo. They are essentially "access control" documents in the main, policed by (often armed) guards. They allow specialised "employees" to perform a specialist role. Where I work now, in a very secure area, again under MoD rules, I also need a pass, Mod security vetting clearance and so on, to gain access to the Hangar. That's all fine, and part of the job and part of a sensible way of operating when working under Classified conditions. Soldiers Sailors and Airmen, people working on MoD Classified projects are part of a "machine" to get the job done. I'm not sure that's the kind of thing I'd like to see in civilian life, generally, just to go about our daily business. We're, as ordinary people, not a cog in the wheel of the state, the state is there for us, not us for them.

Except it's not a good reason, not at all. The Home Secretary was saying the other day how the (new, biometric) ID cards will be of benefit to people wanting to open bank accounts, or other finacial accounts. She also said that in order to improve the security of the data held on the ID database, only a very limited number of people will have access to the data. So presumably, unless she was lying, civilian banks staff, building society staff,etc etc will not have access to the biometric data. So then a lost or stolen biometric ID card is no more or less secure in terms of preventing financial tomfoolery and shenanigans than a copy of a utility bill and and a driving license, passport or F1250 military ID card. Obviously if all these bank clerks, tellers, call centre operators and so on do have access to the database, then the opportunity for misuse and fraud etc by the banks staff rather renders the thing full of holes. The whole idea is total bonkers, impractical and is more about dogma than necessity or benefit to the country.

Thanks Paul. I'm impressed with the dedication to the the report - note taking! cripes. It's a shame Chelsea didn't sort their act out in terms of refreshments and admittance. Nice report all the same.