LancsVillan

always stood on the left with the lads from Redditch when I moved and then met and starting going with blandy we were more central so why did I get a "Right side of The Holte" Villatalk t-shirt ah beer!

A boy about 13 years old is walking down the street dragging a flattened dead frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of"a house of ill repute" and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it. " The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases? " Of course the Madam said"No". He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want." Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the second room on the right. He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam,and headed out the door. The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others? " He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk,have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, ........and He's the Bastard who ran over my FROG!

oh that **** game :oops: sorry got mixed up a little there

Quote from Mrs R Tuesday night: "Which bastard suggested that **** game to you?!" answer - you seven month's ago ;-)

you lot really don't know how shit I am at games do you maybe I should install it for Aston as for life over, maybe I'd be on VT less so no difference to Giselle at least

is there an option to just come on and watch you guys as it would take me years if i started now

Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out over five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands. First floor The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." "Hmmm," said the ladies, "But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." "Wow," said the women, "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so further up they went." Fourth floor This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me," they cried, "Just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went. Fifth floor The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are f**king impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs." _____

ooh juju needs a new pc too ;-) see other thread

at work more likely than home :oops:

Bugger - that rules me out then in reality

ok then a question If I go out and buy this but install it on my laptop and my home pc will the game know where I am up to or will each install be different

you couldn't make it up Methinks I'm going to have to go and get this

I'll go 11 seconds and no

ali - you're right I've never seen us lose at Wembley either having been on holiday for the Chelsea final - sorry everyone

Spuds as I've never seen us lose there. and hada great day in 94 with blandy

1 Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? 2 Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? 3 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? 4 Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 5 Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection? 6 Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 7 Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but duck when you throw a gun at him? 8 Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 9 Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? 10 What is the speed of darkness? 11 Are there specially reserved parking spaces for non-disabled people at the paralympics? 12 If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it? 13 If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? 14 If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? 15 If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? 16 Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? 17 If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? 18 Can you cry under water? 19 What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 20 If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? 21 Why does a round pizza come in a square box? 22 How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases? 23 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours? 24 If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? 25 Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 26 Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ............ they're still going to see you naked anyway

go to ebay and you get ot buy a level 60 for £200!! I was only looking to buy the game

Stop it Nays he'll get all excited and have no chance of standing for a while

now that is something I really don't want to imagine think of the kids

so the french were losing/scared and they've taken their server away why am i not surprised

Theres a member on here called that.... BTW guys i'm up for more arse kicking tonight, seems i might catch Bicks up now! I know There are TWO Tarjei - spooky really :roll: :-)

it's Tarjei Mart

I'm enjoying this thread and trying to work out if I can get the time to play it, which is probably a no. Also it's funny to see Rissok is a fat bar steward.. ;-)

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Monte Casino went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Father ... during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that." "It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favours." The priest said, "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can be very tempted to act that way. But if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. "That is a great load off my mind. However, I do have one more question "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?"

me too ahamaad, without the XBox for my use........ the kids were asking each other what they missed when they were on holiday, they asked me, I paused and Giselle said "VillabloodyTalk" :oops: