Treat you women like your car
Give it a regular, thorough going over.
Touch up the exterior.
Rub it down nicely.
Have a quick tinker with the underside.
Clean out the tubes.
Make sure it's waxed regularly.
Is it easy to turn on? Does it need manual crank starting? Or bump starting?
Ensure your stick is firm and is not jamming.
Change the lubrication.
Check for leaks.
Check the rubber is not wearing thin.
Keep an eye out for bald patches.
Lift up the front and have a long hard look.
Check the rear end is clean and tidy.
Check for spare tyre and any handles.
Keep an eye on fuel consumption.
Check the condition of the big end.
Make sure the top can come down and look good on hot, summer days.
Make sure you will not have to spend half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Are the bodywork and lines to your liking? Is the interior comfortable?
Ensure that it responds well to you when you're in the driving seat.
Make sure it's always clean inside.
Make sure that it will not require any extra/expert servicing.
Check all crevices, especially the box, for dust, dirt, or insect nests.
Have any cracks been inexpertly filled in the past?
Check the mileage and for any previous lady owners.
And that no animals have ever been inside.
Fit a child lock.
The younger the better.
Check that it will not break down on you with no warning.
Make sure any unusual noises can be safely ignored.
Does it drive well in reverse?
Ensure you can tune the radio in to the football.
Ensure you have sole ownership.
If possible, test drive several times before commiting to ownership.
Make sure that there is a proper response when you put your foot down, and that it is easy to control.