LancsVillan

THE Villa Fanzine, new issue out today

beep beep

Industry average. Didn't say valuation was easy. I just said these are the 4 recognised methods. Where is counting the money in the safe and keeping some for yourself, or is that just £llis

ain't we all

not me Rich - they've got four legs y'see

Agreed Pete but Drat sees some poor threads looming

Trinity-Tom really loves Pez

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies. "O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either." "Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm not attached, I'll be having my baby on my own." After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman, "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see Her that the baby is black." "Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porn film. The lead man was black." "Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my Business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions But I Must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair." "Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy." "Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business either and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted eyes." "Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice." At this, the midwife again apologizes, collects the baby and present her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give the baby a slap on the butt. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank god for that!" "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked. "Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that she was going to bark."

eh!

LATE BREAKING NEWS VTers latest books revealed CV blandy drat ME! I start Monday BTW finally - for now and are we surprised that JC at only 22 has a book devoted to him

that blandy one is pure class

1 across, three letters, goes woof! paulobarnesi in rush hour LG and Duncandares slug it out over the issue of red gloves v blue gloves

if you mean trying to catch something resembling that at spinning you're right

I spotted him and wondered just what he had to smile about. and what were you all doing standing up!!

VTers rejoice at another DO'L thread

After a year long trek Drat finally finds the Ellis yacht Villablogster fishing for an original story Trims latest visit to the US causes choas as his bag breaks open

Knock Knock Whose There Alex who Alex explain later

Yeh please make it be true

fish swims into a wall "DAM"

that's possible

Drat, blandy amd Richard get confused by hiphop thread sorry bout the size dunno how to resize -wish it did it automatically

rules you say, is that like a manual but smaller

done

OK then to resolve something I've seen in the JG to Hungary thread What does everyone call the six pieces you need to get before returning to the middle of the board to claim victory in Trivial Pursuit? EDIT LV - changed pieces to wedges

Recent war of words on VillaTalk leads to the creation of a Super-Straight Morally-Perfect "Human Angel". Who was immediately rounded upon as not being as good as he was and should leave the club, but no-one would want him