JB

My mom has been through something similar. She's been quite seriously ill over the past year due to a debilitating condition that she's been dealing with for years. Things were actually touch and go for while. This has obviously meant that she hasn't been able to work (and has only ever been able to work part time for years now). However, the process of trying to get a PIPs re-assessment has been a shitshow, to say the very least. There have even been two occasions where the private company who've been contracted to carry out the assessments have cancelled actually on the day of the her assessment! Once just 40 minutes in advance! I just can't get my head around how things like this can be handled in such a way in a civilised society. The whole thing is disgusting and immoral.

I'd say the word removed ratio is still higher with BMW drivers (pretty much 1:1 in fact) than Audis. I know some good people who drive Audis just because they're nice cars. I haven't ruled out getting one when I change my car. But the amount of superficial, wannabe-bling clearings in the woods driving them to look rich and impress people is increasing all the time. They're a definite second in my imaginary 'cars that you need to keep an eye on because they're probably driven by a word removed' list.

This one definitely should piss me off... I was on a slip road trying to get onto the motorway. There was an Audi in front of me that for some reason was only going around 30mph. I assumed they would speed up, but no. The motorway was pretty busy and the traffic in the inside lane was moving quickly so it was going to be tricky to get on at that speed. It was causing chaos with everyone behind impatiently trying to get around each other. Luckily it's a really long slip road that widens out a bit before it filters and I was able to get past the Audi and get on. As I was passing I saw that the stupid **** word removed was on her phone. Texting (I assume) with a big dumb grin on her face. No regard for anyone else or their safety. She ended up driving half on the hard shoulder, half on the inside lane for quite some distance, still probably only going about 40 max. I hope that she went on to drive herself into a tree or off a bridge before she hurt anybody else. Absolute **** scumbag.

It's something that comes with time and knowledge, mate. Learning how to really stretch and contract the target muscles is a skill. In terms of back training, what really helped me was to think about rowing exercises as four stage movements: 1. Retract/squeeze shoulder blades together 2. Leading with your elbows, pull the weight towards you. Hold for a second. 3. Slowly lower the weight 4. Let shoulder blades roll forwards to round your back slightly in order to get a stretch in your back. Repeat for reps. Takes some getting used to but it worked for me. For chest training, I found that holding the bottom position of an exercise let me really feel my chest stretching. I could then try and consciously contract my chest muscles to push the weight away from me. Both methods took some practice and required me to reduce the weight slightly but it was worth it in the end!

It's awesome isn't it? One of my favourite posterior chain exercises. I used to do it so wrong when I first started training, though and it felt too easy. I was fooled by the name and used really try and place the emphasis on my lower back. Not good. Then I started to get a better understanding and realised that it's actually a hip extension and is for the hamstrings and glutes. I like to increase the resistance by wrapping a band around the base, then around the back of my neck and doing slower eccentrics. Push the hips through to return to the start and really squeeze the glutes at the top. It's a deep burn!

That's weird. Not sure I've ever been to a gym without one! Ideally I'd like to replace it with a similar movement as the hamstrings have two functions: knee flexion (curls) and hip extension (erm, extensions) where you work the hamstrings with a loaded stretch. It's a good idea to get a balance of both. But I can't think of a machine-based exercise that you could replace it with. I tend to do RDLs or good mornings but I wouldn't feel comfortable suggesting those if you don't have someone to show you the technique. They're also using free weights. I'll have a think. Just do more curls for now I guess. Unless anyone else has got any suggestions.

Good point. And good memory! I did think about that but I've softened my opinion on it slightly. With no underlying issues that I know of, I wanted to keep it really simple. It would've meant either too much volume for his back (16-20 sets, with some vertical pulling on top of that) or too little for his chest. I do a few really light upper back drills (pull aparts, YWTs) when I need to get some extra volume in but it would be too complicated to explain. It's not perfect by any stretch and there are things I would do differently if I were training him in person.

@kurtsimonw Sorry for the delay - mental/stressful week or two! I wrote this in the notes on my phone and C+Ped it so formatting might be crap... Here's a very basic program. There's nothing clever about it - anybody could've come up with something similar - and it's not perfect but as a beginner it should be enough to get you started. Based on the equipment you listed, I've gone for 3 full body workouts on non-consecutive days with 8-10 sets per muscle group per week (a little bit more on the back), which research suggests is around the minimum needed for muscle growth and strength gains. Again, as a beginner this should be fine. This is based on getting you comfortable in higher rep ranges with moderate loads before you go heavier. Take a session or two to experiment with loads (weight used) so you can choose ones with which you can perform somewhere between the advised rep ranges, leaving 2-3 reps in the tank on most sets (maybe less on the last set). See how you feel. Sets x reps performed Day 1: 1 Leg press 3 x 12-15 (Quads - front thigh) 2 Leg curl 3 x 12-15 (Hamstrings - back thigh) 3 Chest press 4 x 12-15 4 Seated row 3 x 12-15 (Back) 5 Pulldown 2 x 12-15 (Back) Day 2: 1 Bodyweight squat* 4 x 10-12 (quads) 2 Back extension** 3 x 8-12 (hamstrings/glutes) 3 Chest press 3 x 10-12 4 Seated row 3 x 15-20 5 Dumbbell lateral raise 3 x 12-15 (shoulders) 6 Stability ball rollouts (Google this) or plank 3 x 8-12 or 20-30 seconds (both core) Day 3: 1 Negative push-up*** 3 x 6-10 (chest) 2 Seated row 4 x 12-15 3 Pulldown 2 x 12-15 4 Leg press 3 x 15-20 5 Leg curl 2 x 12-15 *Feet slightly wider than shoulder width apart (or whatever feels most comfortable). Put your arms out in front of you as a counter balance and squat down as far as is comfortable, ideally to at least the point where your upper leg is parallel to the floor. ** You didn't mention this in your list but every gym I've ever been to has one. It's not a machine and back extension is a misnomer as it's meant to target the hamstrings and glutes through hip extension. If you don't have one, let me know. ***Start at the top position of a push-up. Lower yourself to the floor as slowly as you can until you're on the floor. Climb (don't push) your way back up to the starting position and repeat. This will help you build the strength to perform a normal push-up. A few notes: I've put in brackets which muscle group each exercise primarily targets. There are others involved in most exercises but they are the main ones. Aim to keep rest periods somewhere between 1-2 minutes. If you feel like you need a bit longer at first, that's fine. It's a target to work towards. Likewise if you feel fresh and ready to go in less time, crack on. Do cardio as and when you like (after weights or on rest days). Don't worry about it too much. You'll get similar benefits from the weight training but an hour or two of fairly low intensity work spread out over the week is fine. I only really added one isolation exercise at this point, the lateral raise. Skip it if you feel like it's pushing it too much. I'd advise you to keep a record of your training in a notebook or on your phone - weights, reps etc. Monitor and adjust your volume (number of sets per body part performed) if necessary based on how you're feeling i.e. if you're finding the volume too high, reduce the number of sets per muscle group per week and conversely, if it's too easy and you've got more left in the tank, slowly increase. This may be different for each body part. I find that I start to get diminishing returns once I hit 18 or so sets per muscle group per week (much less for hamstrings and biceps/triceps) and it's taken me years to work up to this point and understand that sometimes less is more. By all means, aim for progressive overload (an increase in number of reps performed or weight used on an exercise) from week to week. The jumps can be small; one extra rep or kg counts; but don't worry if this isn't possible straight away. If the body weight squat or back extensions are too easy, try them with a dumbbell in your hands. Google 'goblet squats' for an idea of the grip. I could probably write a thesis on the nuances of form! I don't want to overload you too much but if you're struggling with anything, let me know and I'll describe as best I can. Feel free to ask if you need any other advice. Consistency and effort are key. This should keep you going for 6 weeks or so.

Sorry mate, that was not my intention. You've been a total gentleman and that's not common amongst keto advocates . I disagree with things you've said but I was a bit quick to jump on the defensive. In terms of AA content, I subscribe to his monthly research review. It's been going for years and once you subscribe you get access to every issue so you can look up particular topics as and when needed. I follow him on social media as well and he often posts useful nuggets on there (when he's not trolling low carbers ). It's through him that I've discovered people like Lyle McDonald, Brad Schoenfeld, Joseph Agu and Martin MacDonald (amongst others) who all put out great stuff.

Sorry if I sounded a bit disrespectful or aggressive in my original reply. I still maintain that you and the people who you get your information from are spectacularly incorrect. They have been proved as such by science. Google Taubes's debates with Alan Aragon. I thought I did point out a logical fallacy? You didn't mention that Bulletproof Coffee, as well as containing coconut oil (2 tbsps - roughly 250kcals) also contains butter (2 tbsps - roughly 220kcals). It is a logical fallacy to suggest that such an energy-dense beverage (ok not necessarily quite 600kcals but will still often take up to a third of a person's daily calorie allowance) can help people lose fat. It's against the laws of thermodynamics and is simply wrong. I'd rather have a Frijj. Nothing except consuming fewer calories than you use 'burns' fat. To quote Alan Aragon (check out his monthly research review): "There's only one thing as dumb as calling a 500 kcal cup of coffee with butter & MCT oil a fat-burning beverage: actually believing it." It is annoying that people believe in things like this. It is fundamentally untrue. Dave Asprey is a crook. You're right, there are information bubbles but I'm sorry, the one you're speaking from is wrong and needs to be challenged. However, I wouldn't for a second deny that I've believed some absolute cobblers in the past.

I suggest you check your sources then, dude. Gary Taubes does not count. He is a quack and a charlatan who has even stated in public that if research proved him wrong (which it has, countless times - even via a study that he funded!) he would not change his mind. You are following/listening to the wrong people who have no scientific integrity. Try Alan Aragon, Brad Schoenfeld, Bret Contreras, Eric Helms, Mike Israetel amongst others. Actual scientists and experts in the field. I can't be bothered going through everything that's wrong with what you said (and it is almost literally everything) but there are so many basic logical fallacies that I can't believe that you've thought about what you've said. By far the worst is talking about the "high quality fats" in and fat burning properties of Bulletproof Coffee (TM), which for the uninitiated is normal coffee with added BUTTER and COCONUT OIL - two of the most calorie dense foods available. How does adding 600 calories nutrient-poor foods to coffee help people burn fat?! That is a third of the average woman's daily calories. Nonsense of the highest order that actually pisses me off! The 'eat fat to burn fat' has been thoroughly debunked, as have magical voodoo properties of coconut oil. Eating carbs causes less satiety?!? Are you actually joking? Eating food causes you to feel less full does it? Coming onto a forum like this where there are beginners and people looking to learn and repeating the stuff that you have with such absolute certainty is, quite frankly, dangerous and I'd advise anybody reading to ignore every single word. The answer to fat loss is energy balance. It's that simple.

Nothing's dumb when you start out, mate. In fact asking questions is very, very smart - much more so than spouting unfounded nonsense with absolute conviction like so many people do. If you've lost weight, I'm sure you must have lost some fat. As a beginner you won't have had a great deal of muscle to lose. Unless you've shat a kidney or something... To keep things simple, eat about 90% maintenance calories every day. Even when you don't train. It's your average across the week that matters. Your maintenance calories should be calculated based on how many days a week you train. If you need any help with this, let me know. Sorry I haven't done that starter machine program for you yet. Had a mental week. I'll try and post something later tonight.

Dear me. There is so much wrong with this. Easily the least accurate post I've read in the thread. To the point where I think you might be trolling.

Cheers bud.

Cheers bud. I actually need to take some time to figure out whether it's really what I want or if I'm just doing the classic thing of wanting what you can no longer have. I have been a complete shit in so many ways (never violence or any sort of abuse, just to be clear) that there's also the idea that I should let her go because she deserves better. I read a good analogy once about relationships being like a drug. At the start it is awesome and the buzz is amazing but over time your tolerance builds up and the effects diminish. But no matter how bad for you, sudden withdrawal will **** you up.

I've basically just taken the piss with my girlfriend in so many ways because she's always put up with it. Now she's finally called me on it and has ended things. Well, I ended things when I was drunk and she's taken me up on it. Made me realise how I've been taking her for granted and I actually want to be with her. Looks like she's sticking to her guns, though. She's moved out and is refusing to see me. Any normal person would have been grateful to be with her and would've popped the question a while back. It feels like it's taken this happening for me to finally see things clearly. In fact I feel like I'm thinking more clearly than I ever have. I know exactly what I've done wrong and how to fix things. I want to be with her and spend the rest of my life with her. I never thought I'd be able to say that about anyone. Problem is, it doesn't look like she's going to change her mind and as I say, won't even see me.

What a shit week. I've spent the best part of two years taking someone for granted and never really appreciating how good I've got it. She's stunning and a lovely person to boot and I've taken the piss to be honest. Now I've pretty much got my comeuppance in many respects and I'll be honest, I'm **** devastated.

Cheers mate. Couple of quick questions: How many times a week can/do you train? 3 times on non-consecutive days sound do-able? How confident do you feel with simple bodyweight exercises e.g. push-ups, unloaded squats etc.? I'm out for the rugby at the moment but will try and put something together for you tomorrow.

Just realised that I didn't mention any lower body exercises there... my inner bro sneaking out! Can't skip leg day

Mate, I can imagine it's information-overload for you at the moment. Absolute beginners such as yourself don't need to worry about stuff like progressive overload and free weights. They'll both be awesome further down the line but for now just focus on getting comfortable on the gym environment and learning the movements. Keep it simple. I'd advise prioritising pressing and pulling machines, using weights that enable you to do somewhere between 10-15 reps. Don't sweat the isolation stuff just yet. Keep a record of your exercises, reps performed and weight used but don't worry if the weights/reps don't start shooting up immediately. It sometimes takes up to 6 weeks to notice strength or muscle gains. If you find out what the machines you've got are called or even post pictures of them in here, I'll happily write you a simple program so you've got something to follow.

Similarly, female on male violence seems to be acceptable for 'comedy' purposes. I have a 4 year-old daughter so watch a lot of Disney. Watching 'Tangled' the other day and Rapunzel knocks a guy out with a frying pan shot to the head. Twice. Once whilst he's tied up. In Frozen, one of the sisters punches a guy full in the face and I'm pretty sure Moana gave Maui a beating with an oar at one point. These are just some examples that spring to mind. I'm almost tempted to use a sentence containing the word 'normalises'...

Stevo is bang on there. But this is also a reason why machines can actually be incredibly useful for beginners. They in effect 'guide' you through the movements, reducing the margin for error and risk of injury and help to build a decent foundation of strength. And with consistency and application you will get stronger. Getting stronger on machines still counts as getting stronger. Eat enough protein and you will see muscle growth. Decent pressing, rowing (weighted, not the cardio one) and pulldown machines are solid ones to start off with. Chuck in a few bodyweight exercises and hopefully it will help you to build up a bit of confidence and strength to move onto the free weights if and when you're ready.

Yep. Of course, you can only beat what's in front of you but IMO there is absolutely no way Bellew would've even got close to winning without Haye's injury. It's stating the obvious but seems to be getting underplayed. I think we would've seen a stoppage in the 6th-8th. I'm not even sure Bellew's punches hurt Haye. Haye hitting the deck was a balance issue because he couldn't put any weight on one leg.

I think that's very cynical. If I'd sustained an injury during a fight that made it impossible for me to compete, then the first thing I'd be thinking would be 'rematch'. It would have been easy for him to say that Bellew has just beaten a one-legged man but he didn't mention it once.

I think Haye is actually coming across as pretty humble. Not sure what else he can say. Hasn't mentioned his obvious injury once and held his hands up when he seems to have a pretty legitimate excuse, to say the least. A rematch to regain some pride makes sense.