Quit the job in style.

[TheSufferingVilla]

So my workplace is going through a bit of a mass exodus phase right now with a lot of senior and long time employees packing up and heading for new pastures. I just complained to some of my staff that it's unfortunate that everyone is departing with grace as opposed to running naked through the office screaming obscenities and smashing windows. It was then brought to my attention that I had missed the mass email sent to 800+ employees this summer by a departing technician in California, it's superb.

To my fellow co-workers at XXXXXXXXX,

I have something important I want to say from the bottom of my heart.

When I first came here, it was hard. As I had helpdesk responsibilities at that time, I would stroll around the office and satisfy all of you individually. I was spread in all directions, and it was an awkward position to be in. At times I'd have to get on my hands and knees and service your boxes up close. It got pretty messy.

As time went on I eventually graduated from helpdesk, and started taking most of my service requests via Bugzilla. Sometimes I would be servicing around 80 of you in a week. Sure, it was painful at times, but all it took was a rockstar to get me standing up straight and ready to perform.

I used to always try to take care of business as quick as possible, but I had to remind myself that taking my time and doing it right always serves for longer lasting satisfaction. Through it all, the satisfied smiles on your faces were more than enough payment for all the hard work I put in on the back end.

Of course I can't forget about my fellow techies who more than often were given the shaft and had to continue late into the night with me. If it wasn't for everyone's willingness to share complex techniques, we would be stuck satisfying client services and our managers more often and longer than was efficient. I should also not forget to thank our managers who have tirelessly shielded us from any discomfort from satisfying client services and often with no strings attached.

I also would really like to thank all of you who took me out last night.

I stuffed my face with so much Korean beef. I wasn't sure I could handle it all, but after a few beers and some soju I felt like I could take on whatever was thrown my way, and I was right.

I will miss you all so much and I hope to hear from you outside of work.

If you want to hash out old times, feel free to send me an email. my address is xxxxxxxx@gmail.com

Obviously a couple of items have been omitted for privacy reasons but if anyone else has any good job quitting stories please share as I might need some ideas for when it comes to the point that I've had enough of this shit.

[maqroll]

Mine is fairly run-of-the-mill, but it was when I was about 22 or so, I was a short order cook in a diner. I had worked a total of three shifts there, and the owner was a cranky old prick who was always hovering over me, and being a real jerk. As I was still learning all the menu items, and wasn't given the opportunity to train for a week with someone else, there were a few times when I didn't quite get the plate presentation the way he wanted. He'd make a big fuss about it, and my blood was getting hotter by the hour. He snapped at me one more time so I looked at him and said something like "Go f*ck yourself, you **** stupid old word removed, I'm done with this sh*t", took off my apron, rolled it up, threw it on the floor, and walked out of there, leaving him with no cook on the busiest shift of the week. It felt great.

[hogso]

The best I've heard goes back a few years. I work in a government department with a fair few 'dinosaurs' who have many many stories from down the years. A women was emigrating to the States, and for her last day she was put on the switchboard - this was in the days that such things were needed. After an hour or so of her being on the switchboard the rest of the people in the office noticed, rather curiously, that they were not receiving any calls through at all, which was very very strange. They went up to check on her, and listened in. As each call came in she would say 'Social Security, **** off' and end the call, hence the reason no calls had been getting through.

Naturally those listening in couldn't quite beleive their ears, but waited long enough for her to say on another call 'Didn't I tell you last time? **** off.' She was taken off the switchboard, and sent home, feeling fantastic I would imagine

[Zatman]

my last contract in work moved to a different company and i was moved so on last day on that contract i deleted the most annoying person in the companies account

[Davkaus]

The best I've heard goes back a few years. I work in a government department with a fair few 'dinosaurs' who have many many stories from down the years. A women was emigrating to the States, and for her last day she was put on the switchboard - this was in the days that such things were needed. After an hour or so of her being on the switchboard the rest of the people in the office noticed, rather curiously, that they were not receiving any calls through at all, which was very very strange. They went up to check on her, and listened in. As each call came in she would say 'Social Security, **** off' and end the call, hence the reason no calls had been getting through.

Naturally those listening in couldn't quite beleive their ears, but waited long enough for her to say on another call 'Didn't I tell you last time? **** off.' She was taken off the switchboard, and sent home, feeling fantastic I would imagine

I've been tempted to do something like that a couple of times when I was a helpdesk monkey, but ultimately it's probably not worth it, unless you think your employer would already give a shit reference.

[kidlewis]