Stevo985

I understand where Paddy is coming from. And for the record I woudl never smoke near anyone who wasn't a smoker, unless they came over to me when I was smoking. But on Paddy's note, my cousin got breast cancer a couple of years ago and had to go through chemo and a mammagram (is that what it's called) Anyway, she was just finishing her chemoo and was visiting my gran (I was there too) and my Aunt was also there, and my Aunt just sparked up a cig and started smoking right next to my cousin. I know smoking would have no effect on her cancer, but I still thought it was highly inappropriate.

I smoke socially. End of last year I started to smoke when not out drinking and was afraid I'd get properly addicted so I stopped all together. Back to normal now, never smoke unless I'm out on the piss. For some reason once I start drinking I'm gasping for cigarettes.

It's like a bloody time warp on here today!

None of the above

No-one is cooler than the Fonz. he's in the UK right now, that's why we've had so much snow!

James Avery (I think) who played Uncle Phil in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, was also the voice of Shredder in the teenage Mutant Hero Turtle cartoons.

I couldn't vote because i've never clicked on one. However I didn't realise it helped the site out if I did, so I'll make an effort to do so from now on.

Probably is....though there is a lot worse in this thread Sorry for stealing your punchline

....and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13! I dunno, is it slander?

An ugly old man walks into a bar with a big smile on his face. The bartender asks him what he's got to be so happy about. He says "I was walking home last night when I noticed a girl tied to the rail tracks just like in the movies. So I set her free, one thing led to another and she came back to my place. We rocked the house, doing anything you'd imagine and a few things you wouldn't. It was the best night of my night." "Was she pretty?" Asks the barman. "Dunno. I never found her head."

In reality I shall probably go out and get wrecked on V Day.

Johnson is better imo, as is Richards and Neville on form. Wes Brown is the new Phile Neville (only in the england team because he pays for United.) He isn't very good. On current form however I'd say only Johnson is better than Young.

Anyone with significant others worried about being dumped during the "Transfer Window" Ends February 7th!

Had I a girlfriend, I would be planning something special. However that is not the case, so a night in front of the computer with some hand lotion for me

A paper bag goes to the Doctor's and says "Doctor ,I'm not feeling very well." So the Doctor runs some tests and sits down to have a chat with the paper bag. "Well, it's bad news I'm afraid. You've got AIDS" The paper bag looks shocked and replies "How can that be? I'm just a paper bag?!" "Well," said the Doctor, "There are a number of ways you could have gotten it. Have you ever injected yourself with a needle that someone else may have used first?" "No, I'm a paper bag. We don't really do that sort of thing." "Ok" said the doctor "Well have you ever had sex with someone who may have had AIDs?" "No. I'm a paper bag, we really don't do things like that." The doctor looked puzzled. "Well, there's only one explanation...Your mother must have been a carrier!"

Yes there is - the truth. If she is, and she doesnt like it, perhaps she should get to the gym. If shes fine with it, then theres no problem. Also, if she isn't, yet thinks she is, she's attention seeking. Ok, I meant right as in, right in the eyes of the woman. I.e., an answer that won't piss her off.

If a woman says "Do you think I'm fat?" You basically have to put your trainers on and run as far away as you can. There is no right answer to that question.

Yup, Rev. It really is **** up. I had an email through this morinig with some pictures on and it's crazy. People literally having to visit restaurants with a wheelbarrow to carry the money. It's similar to Germany after the war, people go into a cafe or restaurant, and byt he time they've finished their coffee, it costs more than when they went in. It's insane, and the government, if they can be called that, just keep knocking zeros off the bills, which surely makes it even harder to keep track of! The final picture on my email was a public toilet in Zimbabwe. The sign on the wall said "Only toilet paper must be used in this toilet. No Newspapers, No Magazines and no Zim Dollars can be flushed" Crazy

My ex once asked me during the act whether her boobs were as nice as my ex ex's. I said no. big.....no, MASSIVE mistake!

And they don't drink coke or endorse mints.

The current rate of inflation in Zimbabwe could be as high as a Quintillion percent, although no-one is really sure of the exact rate. When the government introduced the Z$ 100 Billion note, it could purchase 3 eggs. They have recently introduce a 100 trillion dollar note. The current US$ to Z$ exchange rate is at an all time low (or high depending on which way you look at it) of US$1 = Z$ 28.4 Quadrillion

Lets just say a week's teambuilding in the lake district is a very "bonding" experience.

If I throw a dart on target, it will land in a scoring part of the board. If I kick a rugby ball on target it will go through the posts. If I throw a basketball on target it will go in the ring. If I throw a punch on target it will hit the punching bag. If I kick a football on target it will end up in the goal.

How is this thread so long? Surely on target means if no-one gets in the way, the shot would be a goal, i.e. it has to be saved to stop it from being a goal. If it hits the woodwork it isn't going in, easy as that. If you hit the rim in basketball is that on target? of course it isn't.

I think I'd stick a sharp object through my scrotum if it meant I could have another holiday from owrk. Actually, that probably would get me some time off work. Be right back...