ligs

I've heard there is a "new credible" takeover bid looming and to be announced to the LSE, but that's all I know. Might be the same group

>>What's black and blue and doesnt like sex? The rape victim in the boot of my car. >>Whats the difference between a cvnt and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat. >>How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? Two - one to change the lightbulb and the other one to suck my cock. >>The son of a wealthy businessman has his pick of three beautiful women. He cannot choose between the three of them, so he sets them a task. He says to all three - here is £1000, whoever best spends this money will be my future wife. The first woman comes back and says to him "my love, I have spent the £1000 on beauty products for myself, to make sure that you will always have a beautiful women on your arm". The son is impressed with this answer. The second women comes back and says "I have spent the £1000 on cookery lessons for myself so that you will always eat well and I will make sure you have perfect cuisine every night." Again, the son is impressed. The third woman says "I have spent the £1000 on tickets for you to see the world cup final, and of course I used my own money too, but you are worth it." The son agonises. All three women have performed the task exceedingly well, and he cannot separate the three of them. So in the end he marries the one with the biggest tits.

A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday." His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother." So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday". The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, "Go talk to your father." Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday." The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4 times and says: "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says; "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies, "I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate you German Bastards"

"Jez_Villa shows off his "bargain" new motor"

I wish Sorensen was as good between the sticks as Kolo Toure

Brilliant

ChrisVillan practices before his invite to number 10

Man City team news for the weekend; David James has been axed. Joey Barton said our kid didn't do it

Man Utd, easily. Always have, and always will hate them since the Sheffield Wednesday 1992/93 incident. Same goes for Nigel **** Worthington

Richard reminisces about his time as a boy in the CBSO

Could well be. The middle one looks familiar as well I just can't quite get the name. Vaguely Michael Schumacher I guess but that's not who I was thinking off. Robert Huth maybe?

Is the one on the left Ricky Ponting?

There's so much paperwork invovled with making a claim, it can take months for it to actually be sorted.

Yep, he played Billy. Wow, a Neighbours actor who's actually progressed into something serious. Well, apart from Stefan Dennis in Dream Team

Is that Billy Kennedy from Neighbours?

Don't think doctor's should receive any bonuses for not giving out sick notes though, otherwise it's a worthy idea, whether it can work is another matter

Go on then, seeing how you insist, how about your vitals?

Stop stealing talkSPORT's adverts!

As much as I want to replace Sorensen, Carroll would just be a sideways move

Well if he wasn't when he left Rangers last summer (or was it the one before) then I doubt he would be now. How about John Aloisi?

I certainly will - Baros moving to Valencia almost certainly means that Marco Di Vaio will leave; snap him up DO'L!

Wonder who that could be? :?

Seems today that as soon as job cuts are announced, people go on strike

Purely fantasy, but we should go after Marco Di Vaio. Not only is he Kevin Phillips' identical twin, but he's far better than him. He'll be leaving Valencia in the summer, unfortunately it'll be for a far better team than us though. Still, could be worth a cheeky bid

Boa Morte came to the Prem and was initially quite poor, but in recent years has shown to be a good player. Kewell on the other hand came over and was excellent, but in recent years has done nothing. Boa Morte would be my choice