Mitch Hedberg jokes:
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks... it'd be so damn literal! You are using that machine to its exact purpose!
I like the FedEx driver, because he's a drug dealer, and he don't even know it.
If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and someone offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Because inside is a note that says "say thanks."
And so on and so on.