Gingerlad

Statistically, only 2/12 Ricky Hatton fans will get his joke.

Ricky Hatton should replace the girl on the speeding adverts. "Hit me at 20mph and there's a 20% I might block it. Hit me at 30mph and I'll be stone cold on the **** canvas."

You have to feel sorry for Ricky Hatton: the biggest fight of his life, in front of 30,000 fans and millions watching it live on TV... yet he has to watch the highlights just to see how it ended.

Nicolas Cage has signed up to play Ricky Hatton in a movie about his life. The film is titled "Gone in Three Hundred and Sixty Seconds"

I think my wife is cheating on me. Need advice big time. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don’t know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Was he in the studio? I wondered why the holte were giving such abuse to the tv box before the game!

Damn you Trent....

^^^^^ What him up there said.,

words removed.

Failed with question.

this thread is gonna go belly up..

Sex has gone down hill lately, so the missus bought a dildo, she said its shaped like a carrot. Which is ironic cause her fanny looks like a donkey yawning!

This is going OT now, I hope no one squeals to a mod..

Apparently it all started when Mcleish made a pigs ear of their promotion hopes..

Small tme blues. So probably is true.

Well the most important thing is you like it. Casue you're gonna have it forever!!

A for sure, altho might be better with just the lettering rather than the lion as well.. Is it your first?

3 tortoises : Jim, Ray and Geoff go for a picnic, 10 miles from where they live. It takes them 10 days to get there and when thet arrive they realise they forgot the bottle opener! Jim and Ray ask Geoff to go back and fetch it but Geoff says "**** off, by the time i get back you'll have eaten all the sandwiches" Jim and Ray promise not to eat the sandwiches and so Geoff agrees to go. 10 days pass and Geoff still hasn't returned. 20 days pass and he still has not returned, Jim and Ray are **** starving, but keep their promise not to eat the sandwiches. 25 days pass and Jim and Ray say "**** it, we're gonna starve if we don't eat" As they start to eat the sandwiches, Geoff jumps from behind a rock and shouts "i **** knew it you bastards, I'm not going now!!"

You shouldnt think in the short term my friend. The Villa are members of a very exclusive little club (ourselves, Liverpool, Manchester United and Nottingham Forest) and I quite like it that way. So a Man Utd - Barcelona final for me. Couldnt care less who wins as long as it is an entertaining game. This is how I feel. Man U for me.

Rob Styles will have a nervous breakdown!!

No way they'd get through the play offs. I can see it being Sheffield UTD going up auto.

well they could gain or lose few places but nothing that really makes much difference. I cant see the scum beating Reading though to be honest.

How funny would it be if they missed out. I don't think they will but i would piss my pants all day long!!

NOFX rock!

You sir, are a legend!