Mandy Lifeboats

I love Monty Python, but it has a problem, 80% was utter rubbish. The remaining was pure genius that is unmatched. It’s an easy to watch 20 minutes of Python and conclude it’s not worth watching.

Not quite British TV comedies but worth a look - John Cleese delivering the eulogy at Graham Chapman's funeral. Bob Newhart's monologue - the Student Driver What Goes Up Might Come Down - After dinner speech by Birmingham Airtraffic controller David Gunson. Lenin Of The Rovers by Alexi Sayle Welcome To Our Village. Please Invade Carefully - Radio Comedy

Porridge, Ripping Yarns, Blackadder, Fawlty Towers, Red Dwarf, Man Down, The Office, Extras, Life's Too Short, Black Books, Staged, Operation Good Guys, IT Crowd,

"Western NATO-standard fighter jets." What does that actually mean? NATO has a range of fighters including MIGs held by the ex-Warsaw Pact countries. Are Poland's MIG29 considered "NATO-Standard" if they are armed with NATO weapons? I guess this announcement is more about training Ukrainians in the relative safety of UK Airspace than specifically handing over RAF Eurofighters.

A gentleman should walk and never run.

A kidnapper could buy a lot of biscuits and tennis balls for £100,000.

Stop calling me Bigfoot.

Or she suffered a sudden serious illness and stumbled into the river whilst disorientated.

It's fairly obvious what's happened. Bulley is actually an MI5 agent and needs to dissappear. She is being hunted by the Flat Earth Society because she has found definitive proof that the Earth is a globe. She regularly went to the same place to walk her dog. She left her phone on the bench so that it could be easily traced. She then hid in bushes near the river. Police Officers arrived at the area with the cover story of searching for her. She then slipped out from the bushes wearing a Police uniform and simply left the scene with other officers. I even have proof - No-one has denied that she is an MI5 Agent. No-one has released CCTV images showing the Police leaving the scene. There are several examples throughout history of people wearing different clothes to disguise themselves. One of the officers leaving the scene had a ridiculously large moustache.

Collared.

Dogs are terrible murderers. All the Police need to do is point af the body and repeatedly ask "Who did this? Did you do this?" They normally confess.

No leads.

Yes. His name was Fred and he was considered a holy man one of the local Hindu temples. They would feed him and make sure his tent was in good repair. I remember when one joker installed a Sky dish for him. He had 2 amazing backstories neither of which was ever confirmed. Some of his family claim that he fled to England in 1939 to join the free Polish Army, But other said that he joined the Nazis and fought with the Africa corps. He was captured and held as a POW.

I don't ask about the shoes. Mrs Lifeboats doesn't ask about the watch. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

Sergey! We need camouflage to help our green air defence missiles blend into all this concrete. Get me a massive green square of even brighter green material to make it look even bigger and even greener.

I think the original speech was in response to Russian missiles hitting Ukraine. Zelensky was suggesting that rather than proving weapons to intercept the missiles NATO should provide weapons that stopped the missiles being fired at all.

Good fake. But absolutely a fake. I saw it 6 months ago. Watch it carefully concentrating on the mouth. The mouth is overlaid on the face.

A few years ago, I was dealing with a legal matter at work. One of the minor parties involved is an A-list Celebrity and somewhat of a sex symbol. I wrote to her management team requesting a meeting. I had no expectation of even getting a reply. A few months later they replied that she was too busy but might be available later that year. A few months later she turned up at our offices unannounced. She was charming, chatted to everyone and was nothing like her media persona. I pulled a sickie and missed it all.

China can take over the world if they continue their current trajectory. If Russia put that at risk, China would act. In my lifetime the USSR and China have fought over their border and threatened nukes.

Here he is. I think that must have been Celtic's 3rd strip? Those are definitely winner's medals for the SPL.

Will it be WW3? No. A World War requires a number of countries to be split into at least 2 powerful military alliances. Russia might get help from Belarus, Iran and North Korea. But would they really fancy joining a fight against NATO? Will there be an all-out nuclear war? Incredibly unlikely. The worst-case scenario for Russia is that they lose the land they have captured since 2014. Russia destroying itself because its lost Crimea is as logical as the UK destroying itself because it lost the Channel islands. What about battlefield nukes? Just as unlikely. Firstly, there is no such thing. Battlefield nukes are just smaller weapons designed to take out small military targets without widespread devastation. They take out a formation of tanks or a naval base without destroying huge areas. Secondly, Ukraine's forces are very close to Russian Forces and Ukraine is very close to Russia and NATO. Radioactivity doesn't stop at borders. Thirdly, NATO would not retaliate with nukes. They'd just destroy all of Russian's military and infrastructure near Ukraine. Lastly, China would probably join NATO in attacking Russia. Why risk having a neighbour who has nukes and is willing to use them over a minor loss of land. What's the biggest danger of WW3 and Nuclear Armageddon? Computer error. On 26/9/1983 Stan Petrov saved the world. He was manning the USSR's early warning system. He saw the US launch a single nuke at Russia. He passed it off as an error. But then he saw another 4 nukes launch. Had he reported the matter it would have triggered an equal and immediate retaliation. He decided to wait until he's got confirmation from another source. It never came. It was a computer error. That's closer than we've ever been.

It’s looking grim in Bakhmut with Russian forces advancing north and south of the city. Many are saying that now is the time to withdraw. Others saying that it will be held to the last man.

The bombing of Iranian weapons factories is interesting. Iran has blamed the USA and "another country". If it was Israel, why not say that? A few photographs on line seem to show the French built Rafael. They are operated by France, India and Qatar.

That's the Captain.