theunderstudy

Predictably struggling to get Head out. No idea why we're bowling crap at them. They'll just knock Moeen around instead of skying him 

Two brain dead dismissals from Australia. Smith and Labuschagne caught the England virus. Let's hope they give the remaining 7 away quickly too 

Because the fish rots from the head down. Poor keeper means sloppy slips. Same as terrible top order means the middle order are fighting for their life every match.

If only we had a brilliant keeper who was a good defensive anchor with the bat for the middle order.

Broad 2 behind McGraths record of dismissing Atherton (19). Would love him to break that this series 

This team are genuinely **** stupid. We're going to be trailing that shambolic Australia display by 50+. Idiots

Daft thing is Australia we're always going to kneejerk by filling the boundary to stop the flow of runs. If Wood and Stokes had been smart they'd have reined this in so they could pilfer two a ball whilst they were out. Naive again but what should I expect from this side 

That lasted long. Ffs.

Look at the difference between Khawaja getting that absolute rocket from Wood versus EVERY dismissal in this innings. Not a single ball to get a wicket has been "unplayable" or even close. They've just hoped the England batter would wildly swing at it. And they have.

They are 120 behind on a sunny day. What the **** are they all doing 

Woakes out just before lunch. Just needed to calm down after hitting that 6. Emblematic of this team

Moeen giving his wicket away just like he's done the rest of his career. Blokes brain is made of **** mozzarella 

You think losing 5-0 will be enough to get Bairstow dropped? Foakes was **** dropped for him after performing excellently. Absolute amateur hour with the bat and the ball this series. Can't bat, can't catch.

I wish Australia's batsmen were as reckless and **** thick as ours. Jesus christ.

They seem to be pathologically incapable of leaving the ball. Would love to know often we've lost a wicket this series to flailing at a ball that is an obvious leave 

Root gone. Horrific.

Morning failure will confirm the Ashes are gone. Jenny Bairstow owes England a double century today 

Need these two to go big tomorrow. Need a lead to drive some pressure onto Australia 

Crawley with his usual waft when he's made 25

If he can't play this high up WHY are we playing him this high up??? It's costing us a wicket. We know one of Laurel or Hardy will give away their wicket within the first 10 overs so we need someone with a bit more nous to play there not a number 5 batsman who thrives playing a worn ball

Think Brook can't handle these pitches. I wouldn't take him to Australia next Ashes if he's still batting like this 

Brook.......

Duckett waited long to slash it to a fielder didn't he. 6th ball. **** moron. He just can't resist swinging at everything. Harry Brook effectively opening for the rest of the series as one of these idiots will get themselves out early...  let's hope he is up to it 

Wood redeemed this England innings with some brutal bowling at the tailenders. Frustrating watching this after watching the slow shit we bowled at the tail at Edgbaston. Last thing a bowler wants out in the middle is 93mph scorchers coming low at you 

Hugo Lloris would be proud of some of these fumbles in the field.

Australia fixed one of their biggest issues (Green not contributing with bat and only useful with the ball when England were trying to sky it every ball) by replacing him with Marsh. Meanwhile we pick Moeen Ali (again) despite him being as threatening as an apple pie, and doubling down on keeping Bairstow at WK when he's fumbled 3 catches and a stumping per game.

It's alright though, Zak Crawley will hit a 30 ball 20 though when we get to bat on this. **** joy