thecraft

While I think that the line put forward by MON re SWP is most likely the truth and this fits more with the reading of the situation put forward by other people on this site that it didn't happen due to Chelski politics, part of me wonders if it's possible that Milan Baros' story could have had a little more truth in it than we think. Maybe since the signings of John Carew and Ashley Young, SWP has had a change of heart and MON wants to keep people open to the possibility after the inevitable wave of SWP hostility following the news that he wasn't interested in coming. I think it is unlikely, but not impossible, that this is a bit of PR. Be nice if it was

Quantum football! That would be an idea. Let's see if we get a few physicists in the backroom team instead of the usual psychologists and dieticians.

I heard he was off to Schalke.

Perhaps we could sign some of these foreign mermaids? It shows you how many issues we, as lay people fail to understand...

It would be good from Hereford too as though its not really a problem for weekend games it's impossible to get back by public transport for weekday games. Oh and Happy New Year all!!!

Seconded! Even if we don't turn the lights off!!! Though 'So What' by the Anti Nowhere League would be good for when we play Chelsea Man Utd redscouse etc

Belated post on this topic, though I have been reading it fanatically! Cheers General you're showing your class! I was wondering how doing the job for the time you've been here has compared to what you thought it would be like, once you knew the deal was a possibility. Have there been any surprises? It's amazing to see such genuine interest and enthusiasm from the board, coupled with the level of experience and calibre of the staff being built! Couldn't happen to a better club

I remember going to a few games when BFR was the manager and just thinking I can't believe this is Villa after some of the performances by previous managers (even though we had success with GT mk1 we were playing better football with BFR for a while). I remember just being really proud of the quality we were showing. I'm confident though that we'll have quality football AND consistency soon the way we are set up now. Who'd have thought it a few months ago!

A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet. He looks down and notices the floor is covered in $100 bills. Next, there's a knock at the door, so he answers it. Standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a sturdy limb, and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods. It's the two blonde genies! One blonde genie says to the other, "I can understand the first wish--having all those beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"

You need to be careful with 300+ pages of statements!! http://tinyurl.com/nap5u

In terms of dealing with Rothschilds is there any kind of undertaking to sell if the conditions are met? Aren't they paid on commission and if so, would they place any contractual safeguards that if they find buyers that meet the requirements made, a sale occurs?

http://tinyurl.com/kz3um Interesting stuff from Graham Taylor

I'm starting to think that way too. The Evening Mail dropped RL's name in a few times and I think they think they know something but aren't at liberty to print (stock market rules etc). To run a front page article on MON taking over as manager they seem pretty confident. With the news breaking - if everything was as it seems now ie Ellis appoints MON wouldn't Dougie be in a rush to be making the most of it in the media?

Is Ellis this stupid .. probably yes Is MON this stupid.... I would say not.

It depends on the report you believe I suppose. There was one yesterday saying all four bids were united behind MON. It may be true, may not be. I think with the timescales involved though having some kind of acceptable interim solution agreed on is a good idea- we need a manager in asap. I would agree with the opinion though, that if Doug thinks he can hire O'Neil then back out of the takeover stuff he'll be in for a shock.

Another interesting sig!

I voted Blackadder (and am in the obvious minority that really liked the first series), though Father Ted and Fawlty Towers were right in there as was The Young Ones but not as close. Mr Bean I never really liked or The Office. Red Dwarf (older series) would have been in my top ten though.

yeah nearly p****d myself when i heard it

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?". The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter". Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away". St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Brian "Well just relax and let it happen" And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're shitting the bed"

21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas 1. I prefer breasts to legs 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. Smother the butter all over the breasts! 4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5. I've never seen a better spread! 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. It's a little dry; do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you put it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17. Just pull the end and wait for the bang. 18. That's the biggest bird I've ever had! 19. I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning 20. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all that and still want more! 21. I do like a good stuffing.

As is true in many areas of my life, I was well and truly on the left

The Horse Race The Line up: In lane 1. Passionate Lady In lane 2. Bare Belly In lane 3. Silk Panties In lane 4. Conscience In lane 5. Jockey Shorts In lane 6. Clean Sheets In lane 7. Thighs In lane 8. Big Dick In lane 9. Heavy Bosom In lane 10. Merry Cherry AND THEY'RE OFF!!! Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot. AT THE HALFWAY MARK: It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and Big Dick is pushing in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick. AT THE STRETCH: Merry Cherry pops under the strain. Bare Belly is making a final push. Big Dick is in and Passionate Lady is coming. AT THE FINISH: Its Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head... Bare Belly slows, Thighs weakens, Heavy Bosom pulls up, and Clean Sheets never had a chance.

1. What do you call a chav in a box? Innit. 2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted 3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe. 4. What do you call an Eskimo chav? Innuinnit. 5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs. 6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride. 7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him? It might be your bike. 8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut. 9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night? What you lookin' at?" 10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint three stripes on it. 11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving? The police 12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's? A liar. 13. What do you say to a chav with a job? Can I have a big mac please 14. What do you say to a chav in a suit? Will the defendant please stand 15. What do u call a knife in chaville? Exhibit A 16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame? A Nova seats 4 17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny. 18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they'll screw anything. 19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river? A start. 20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor? None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit." 21. Why did the chav take a shower? He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash 22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.