Paddywhack

A woman at work who always asks me for help with her computer issues. I wouldn't mind but; -

"My screens are black, they're not showing anything" - Computer wasn't on.

"My mouse is working" - Moving the mouse of the computer next to her.

"This program won't let me login" - Typing her password in the address bar of IE.

"I'm clicking the print button but nothings happening" - Pressing the save button.

Then, she doesn't recognise that she's being dopey, she blames the PCs and as a result of helping her, I'm a 'computer whiz-kid'. Bless her. Idiot.

Same woman just called me over.

Stupid Woman: "Can you turn my computer off please?"

Me: "It's already off...do you want me to turn it on?"

SW: "No, I've just shut it down. Now I need to turn it off and on again, the woman on the phone at IT said so."

Me: " Yeah, you've shut it down, so it was off and I've just turned it on for you."

SW: "It's on? I need it off."

FFFFFFFUUUUUU. I work with idiots

Hey, does anyone remember the 5 pack of trio you could get with the Roland Rat sticker and transfer inside?

I'd love to see a pack of them again

Anyway a pleasant 5 miles along the Thames today (past the Wacko Jacko statue at Fulham). Was bloody cold mind...

I couldn't run that route. I can barely breath when I run, let alone laugh. It would have to be my little treat at the finish line.

When you run it and realise just how much organisation must go into those things and ho wmany people need to be employed on the day (and at other times) you'll understand why you need to pay.

They are massive events.

I downloaded the Nike+ GPS app last week and nothing has ever motivated as much as that has to just get out there and beat my longest run, fastest mile and just build up my total miles. 7 runs in 10 days and I'm really enjoying it, I'm hooked. Got past my first 10k on Saturday and was over the moon.

Yesterday, I signed up to do the Birmingham Half Marathon in October. I had absolutely no idea you had to pay to enter these things, £32!?

Reading peoples predictions on here is nearly as boring as watching us play at the moment

Nice to see most people don't think we'll lose though, I don't think we will either. I reckon 4-3 to Villa, 3 Dunne own goals, 2 red cards and Alan Partridge in a pear tree

Bang on. I often think we probably live in the best possible time so far, but then backtrack and wonder if that's just my naivety

People who use "apostrophe s" for a plural.

Call me mister smartypantsknowitall, but how hard can it **** be to understand the simplest rule in all grammar?

That winds me up too, we're a pair of Mr Smartypantsknowitall's!

Ahh, but you see they are getting ever so slightly worse every generation...

Has anybody on here been for a full STD check before? I havent but I know people who have and they have a very effective method in ensuring that if you didnt bag up before you will after whether your results are clear or not

I had a sore rash all round my bell last year and got myself checked out. They asked all the usual questions, I told them I hadn't strayed and I was as sure as I possibly could be that my girlfriend of three years hadn't either, I believe they gave me the works, 'just to be sure'.

The cotton bud...oh god, the cotton bud. Never going to be able to clean my ears the same way again.

I can't even say it put my mind at rest, because I wasn't too fussed in the first place

You have to think the team came out in the second half already KNOWING they'd end up losing.

If a Premier League club with aspirations to improve cannot hold a 2 goal lead for 45 minutes, they should just concede defeat before kickoff and spare everyone the trouble.

I knew I shouldn't have read this thread, first comment I read has annoyed me. Cringe-worthy. Logging off

15 minutes of madness and stupid mistakes. We just looked panicked, only looked comfortable again when we were 3-2 down.

I don't think I'm going to be reading anybody else's comments, because I guarantee people will be laying into McLeish saying it was his team talk. I'm not in the mood for cringing

I've never been annoyed by somebody leaving a trolley sideways in the aisle, which makes me believe it's probably me doing it.

I suppose it would explain my trolley going missing and being rammed across aisles...

I'm at work so can't watch the vids, but that Vinnie one, promoting Hands-Only CPR, I don't get it. I've been taught my whole life to use mouth to mouth aswell and now I'm being told to forget that part by Vinnie Jones who says "only kiss your mrs on the lips"?

Only seen the ad once though, is it a specific CPR?

Well Lawrenson has predicted an Arsenal win, no matter what side Wenger picks.

So we have a chance!

I always get happy when he predicts a loss for us aswell.

To be fair to him, I saw what the table would look like based on his predictions (may have been linked on VT somewhere) and he had us on the exact points and the exact goal difference. The only team who wasn't only one or two positions different from the real table was Wolves...they were about 6th :?

A (quite large) woman at work, who has diabetes so has to watch her diet and keeps having time off work from getting ‘hypos’, had 3 rustlers burgers for lunch today. Unbelievable.

There's a woman at my place who usually has three weetabix with slices of banana on, covered in sugar at about 8 o'clock. She'll then get a cheese and ham croissant from the sandwich lady at 9.30am and two or three pieces of fruit and hot chocolates until lunch.

At lunch today she had a massive salad covered in mayo, a baguette covered in mayo and a jacket potato with cheese and beans.

She then doesn't understand why she isn't losing weight because she's "eating healthy" and moans to my colleagues about it. I'd have a lot more respect for her is she just said, '**** it, I love food, I'm going to be fat'

Funny how no one was around defending McLeish when we got defeated by Swansea. But when he gets a victory you all come out of the woodwork.

It should be interesting how many of you disappear again if we get a bad result against QPR.

I think it's funnier how after a win some people still manage to criticise him, personally. People have different sense of humour's though

Some really poor arguments.

We're meant to be positive about him for the future because he had some decent moments in the past?

But it's fair to be negative about him for the future because he's had shit moments in the past?

OK, so show the me the positive argument on relegating blues twice?

The postiive argument to playing a brand of anti football?

The postiive argument to not scoring enough goals?

Do you want me to go on? Those are statistics that are there in black and white and its those that people base their arguments on.

The pro McLeish stand point seems to be based around two things:

He is our manager and is unlikely to be sacked at least until the summer.

He is a nice bloke.

Now how silly does that sound?

The only thing that sounds silly is you.

Yeah, he relegated blues twice, but you're STILL basing your judgement of the man from BEFORE he was at the club? To me that's like being angry at your mrs for shagging someone else before you even met her. Why not judge him on the time he's spent at this club? Plus it was blues he relegated! Hero!

Three goals away from home last week, for me, will suffice. How many do you want? And if it was anti-football, I really can't wait to see us actually play

*disclaimer - I'm niether pro or anti-mcleish :|

(a) I'm slightly scared of them

( They are generally too needy and high maintenance

© (the deal breaker) I am unwilling, under any circumstances, to pick up dog shit

Agreed! I'm 100% a cat person.

I was 15 when we got our first dog, I'd only ever had cats up until then. I was really nervous about picking up his shit the first time I walked him, not so much about actually doing it, but about someone from school seeing me do it. Teenage insecurities, I guess.

Anyway, he stopped right at the end of this bloke's drive, who was out washing his car at the time. The bloke stood there staring at me, waiting to see the poop scoop. So I plucked up my courage, grabbed the bag and waited for my dog to empty his arse.

If I hadn't actually seen him straining, I would have been convinced the little bastard had brought out a 2 litre bottle of chocolate milkshake with him and tipped it on this chaps lawn. Rarely took him out again.

I'm not a dog owner, not responsible enough

so is it still worth buying shares in them?

Or have they climaxed?

Apple's climaxed. It was watching hardcore porn. It found it so appealing, it's seed was everywhere.

Anyway, you were after incider help with the stock market..? Pips of advice, make sure the company doesn't crumble

I lol and slurp tea. I must be going round, slowly pissing people off

It's film...or fillum if you're Irish.

"Down with this sort of thing"

"Careful now"

I think some people think it means 'lots of love'

lol I'm sure I could, she wouldn't understand