gareth_barry's_left_foot

I was going to photoshop it to a ginga (sorry, redhead) and abuse toonlass but couldn't be bothered!

Trim on Ket... The Whale's nephews celebrate their inheritance Hev falls for a hoax email saying JPA agrees to a shag

Sounds like an invite Chris... :winkold:

Trim gets to grips with Photoshop

JC's decorating gets him in trouble with the missus

Yeah yeah; the other's roasted huh?

A lorry containing Vics Vaporub has overturned on the M1. Although the motorway has been shut for three hours, police are saying there's no congestion. Sorry :oops:

Are you saying Juju, that Santa doesn't exist?

Cool! 8) I know what you mean - My company will get a shed load of tickets but I won't be seeing any of them, they'll all be used for corporate hospitality... :roll:

I'll be up for it aside from the obvious flaw that is obtaining tickets. Is there anything you can do over there in that respect?

... but like the Murphys Al, he's not bitter!!

Hmmm.... A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. ''House'' for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is masculine: el lápiz.'' A student asked, ''What gender is 'computer'?'' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the feminine gender (''la computadora''), because: 1) No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2) The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3) Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval. 4) As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador''), because: 1) In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2) They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves. 3) They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4) As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line ... just one guy in front of me ... He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated ... he asked the teller ... "Why it change?Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen - today I get hunat eighty?" The teller says, "Fluctuations." The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

In the games I have seen this season (admittedly not that many), it's the defence that inevitably leads to the defeats. Injuries, blah blah but giving teams a two goal head start like yesterday aint gonna win us any games. Fact: If we stop conceding goals, we will stop losing games. Going forward we do seem to run out of ideas but that's mostly because we are chasing games because we are defensively inept. Tighten things up at the back, let the midfield start worrying about going forward rather than panicking about what's happening behind them and the goals will come; there's enough quality in the side to come through but it all starts at the back. Oh and if you don't believe me, think Arsenal of a few years back. Boring as f*** maybe but what I wouldn't give for a few 1-0 wins right now.

Well it is Halloween... :evil: Johnny was sitting on a park bench stuffing his face full of all of the sweets he blagged on Halloween. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of those sweets will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?" "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny. "Did he eat five chocolate bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted. "No, said Johnny, but he minded his own feckin business."

Have you succumbed to this yet LV? I'm trying to keep my life on an even keel but found myself perusing the gaming shelves of PC World and Woolies on Saturday morning.... I'm getting dangerously close to resigning my life to this game but not sure the new gf would be best pleased - especially given Juju's dilemma of yesterday (and unlike him I've not yet managed to get a curry and a shag for £30 let alone a game of bowling thrown in!)

So was it worth it Juju or would you have been better off playing WoW? (assuming you've made it home yet that is!)

I'm not sure I like your tone Juju - you threatening me??? I would challenge you to a dual, fight like a real man but not being a WoW geek, I don't actually have the ability to throw lightening strikes at anyone so can't help but think I might lose and being a sarthern softie, I just aint up for losing! Besides, not sure I could handle being the new kid at school again, I'm only just getting over secondary modern :shock:

Besides, I have a life.... I don't feel quite ready to thrown in the towel just yet!

I'm impressed you still go to work Juju; I thought it had totally consumed you! Not sure that I'm happy with the image of the leather pants - on anyone in this forum (on Bicks???) :wow:

Yeah but by Juju's own admission, he used to have a life... Don't do it Al!

I've been there when it was empty and even then you can feel the buzz - when it's full it's just sensational - maybe it's the whole Catalan approach to their football that makes it so??

Hmmmmmm.

Have to admit to not having been to most but the Nou Camp is awe inspiring

Tony Blair started jogging near No 10 Downing Street Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. "Fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the curb. "No! Five pounds!" Tony would fire back. This ritual between Tony and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!" One day, Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Tony realized she'd bark her £50 offer and Cherie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for the 'Boss'. As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Tony became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there was the hooker. Tony tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog past. Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five quid !!!