Dale

@ Kalim... england join up for their first Euro 2004 training session when Sven notices shit on the pitch he turns to the squad and says "who's shit on the pitch" Emile Heskey raises his hand and sayus "me, but I am good in the air"

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES FR: MANAGEMENT RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.). Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Q. What do you do when your dishasher breaks down? A, Cheer her up and get her back to the sink :lol:

Q. Which is tthe odd one out: A Washing Machine, A television Or a woman A, The TV the others leak when they're ****

^^^ like it but didn't start off as a Manchester joke with scouce b*stard...

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt". After this, you can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a Shitt-Happens double ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

A man goes to a bar and the fag machine is shouting at him On the bar these Peanuts are telling him how great he is. He asks the barman "What is going on" To this he replies "The Fag machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementry"

A man with a stutter goes to the Dr's and complains and asks the Docter to give him some help The Docter takes a look at him and tell him the problem is the size of his penis, its to big. So the man stutters to him to take some off. The Docter does so and the following day the guy comes back looking depressed he says "thanks Doc this is great but I'd rather have a bigger cock, can I have some back please" To this the Docter replies "F-F-F-Fu-uck off"

I presume you are referring to the Scott, Scott Murray, the lad went to Bristol City and was a very successful player there. This season he was sold for 'big money' in nationwide terms (£750,000) to Reading! He may one day return to the premiership. P.S we got some money from the transfer!

Well in recent games Hitz has been assisting at least twice a game and vassell has found his scoring boots!!! What do you think is this form short term or over a longer period of time. I hope they keep it up, look @ their ages 10 more years of this available? :roll:

we can work at it if the team works well, who knows Angel + Vassell reach twenty (wishful thinking!!!)

could do worse and have done worse aka. asics