chrisp65

Just signed up for a Chemistry course on Khan Academy. I am all over that shit. 

haaaaaaaaaaang on a minute......

for the record, you have one of these:

and you've signed up for chemistry

science is mostly made up shit nobody has got around to disproving yet

it's like religion, but for people on the autism spectrum

a rare day at actually sat in the office - no headphones

Yep, and agreeing to have e-mail promotions sent to me hasn't helped either. I like that you get the digital download code too.

That one above is a bit of a different listen, still great, but not just mind bending dub repetition, a lot more varied.

What does "high maintenance" mean?

In a woman, it means there will be emotional ups and downs, with a regular need for personalised praise (not generic 'you look nice'). It means there will be a financial commitment that will always have the limits tested and questioned. There will be a need to wine and dine and show off your partner at places that she likes to be seen. It means always being prepared to say sorry when she finishes the fight she started.

In a man, it means you're a dickhead.

So Grealish wasn't even born last time we won against Man Utd at home? Damn that makes me feel a little older than I did.

Records are there to be broken boys and girls.

you won't win anything with kids

Yeah, I've got that one where the robot octopus penetrates all the nurses on a spaceship made of sweets.

Some of the facial expressions in that are just weird.

I may have shifted off American politics slightly.

That Obama chap, super cool icon, but appears to have been mostly ineffective by any practical measure.

Yep, and I know it's a cliche, but my experience working in hotels in a former life suggests the same. Any number of conversations where I would try to explain firstly that there was a difference between Britain and England, and secondly what that difference might be.

So it was even people that travelled and had some disposable income that were arriving in a place they'd elected to visit, but even then not understanding where they were. If I had 50p for every time I had to explain that the land on the horizon was not France but England and no you really really are not in England at present, I'd have well over £4.50

Had what turned into quite an agitated argument with one coach party of americans that were insisting that whilst, yes, they understood Ireland was a separate country, it was still part of England. Eventually I had to back down and admit I may have been mistaken. You could indeed be an Irish citizen, call yourself Irish and live in Ireland, England.

I just don't think the buses of Chinese people that now get shipped in to take photos or Cardiff Castle have any more informed an idea where they are either. 

But then, if I paid my £7,000 for a tour around South America, could I honestly put my hand on my heart and say I understood every nuance of whether I was in Argentina, or Patagonia or half way up Makka Pakka.

I suspect that americans are no more or less dumb, selfish and insular than anyone else.

We have a choice of a world 'lead' or given basic direction by the USA, or China, or Russia, or other random grouping.

You can't tell me that an american voter has less desire to do good in the world than a Chinese guy that doesn't understand how stock markets work or a Russian guy that thinks 'being strong' in the worlds campest stripey blue and white vest whilst riding a bear is the mark of a real man.

They are all equally naive, scared, ignorant, boastful, etc etc etc..

As would be the general mass population of any other country that gets a go at being top of the pack.

Some might even suggest that the British Empire wasn't entirely all about cream teas and an understanding of how flushing toilets work.

I think maybe there's more than one set up with any Ford? Which makes comparisons a bit tricky.

I had a short period of time where I was being left Ford Focuseses as hire cars. Whilst they were almost always blue, the driving experience in all of them was always very different. Some were underpowered, some were fine, some had soggy clutches or shitty gear changes, some were really neat. To me, they all looked like metallic blue Ford Focusi. None of them were any sort of 'special' with a big S on the badge or go faster roof and bonnet stripes.

Some had hard seats with protrusions right at the point of your kidneys that presumed you went in at the middle and didn't have a little bit of timber about you.

I didn't like those.

Are you the cool guy behind the unshaven weirdo waving one arm around?

Looks like fun.

A very long time ago I had a girl that was basically shagging me as some perverse revenge on her local sport star boyfriend she'd split up with.

I was being used by her, to show him.....I dunno, something or other.

It was a torrid few weeks, and as  mind blowing as it was to not only feel boob but actually get to do sex on her, it was something of a relief (!!!) when I was finally dumped and they got back together.

The effort I was having to make to look presentable and perform a half decent shag was becoming more trouble than it was worth.

Sheeran just needs to enjoy it whilst he can.

I see keeping the Capital one Cup regional did wonders for Gillingham. 

Away to Plymouth on a Tuesday night.

There are few sights finer, than a small group of middle aged men, liberated by lager and a complimentary sparkling wine, throwing their paunches around showing the young uns how to really dance to 'one step beyond'.

Then it's a 10 minute breather, a piss, one last cruise of the free buffet, one more slug of lager and up again, woooooowooah! black betty bamalam whooah black betty bamalam....

so anyway, what do you drive?

well, this evening, if it stops raining I'm going to have a go on one of these for an hour

I did briefly work in the same building as my missus.

We were already together when I got a job for the same company as her. Different work, different department, different floor. But yeah, there's nothing quite as exciting!

Long time ago. I wonder who's got that desk now?

all I need now is a car battery and a shopping trolley and I'll be fully portable

probably been living off earworms, would be cruel to put it back in the wild after all this time

fresh out of the cellophane, I shall listen to this whilst eating pie and chips

a good day

worst possible time to play Bournemouth, our new team versus their newly promoted lot, them at home in the sunshine and the media with all that happy copy already written with their witty headlines ready to roll

sweet

Delph has said he might play the first half, but he might not, so don't wait. Start without him, but he'll deffo turn up. Hopefully. Having a crazy day, see you later. Fingers crossed. Got to pop to the bank first.

Villa win.

Lots of re writing of beach boys, rags to riches fairytale stories around about 4:50pm