Grogan_Avfc

Kids of VT beware Oldfart considers children as filth!!!!!! :shock:

more like... Grogan_Avfc opens Totty thread and discovers new pleasure

A man is walking past a primary school when he hears a very loud cry of '13! 13! 13!' coming from inside. wondering what the chanting is all about he finds a hole in the wall and looks through it. suddenly a small finger reaches from the classroom and pokes him in the eye. the kids then start chanting '14! 14! 14!'

What's green and smells like paint? Green Paint

we failed OFSTED inspection so teachers get extra training on wednesdays but i'm not complaining...

no we finish at 12:30 on wednesdays

yea thats better

ah but chris villa don't play during school hours

the psp wins hands down for me for loads of reasons. the graphics are 10 times better than the ds, and the fact that you can play mp3s and umds along with looking at pictures and you can get on the internet and more importantly VT! the ds might be cheaper but the psp is miles better

what do canaries get when they go to hospital? TWEETMENT

my 10 year old brother is a newcastle fan even though he was born and has been raised up in birmingham. he thinks emre is the best player in the prem, steven taylor is the next john terry, chopra is the next ronaldo and given is the best keeper in the world, i just couldnt stop laughing when he told me this.

a brummie, cockney and scouser applied for a job in the army, on their first day the corporal told them they needed to show balls of steel and determination to kill ANYONE for their country. the corporal handed a gun to the brummie and told him to go kill his wife, off he goes but returns later and says he just couldnt do it. the corporal hands the gun to the cockney, but he couldnt do it either. so the corporal gives the gun to a scouser. the scouser returns later on and tells the corporal "some dope but blanks in the gun so i had to choke her to death instead."

my last one... the public health guy enters a hospital on an inspection. he is given a tour by the manager when they come across a patient wanking. "oh my god, what is happening in there?" asks the inspector. "this man has a serious problem, his testicles create too much sperm and unless he masturbates 20 times a day his testicles will explode" replies the doctor. "oh i'm terribly sorry" says the inspector to the patient. they walk past another open door, where they see a man being given a blow job by a young nurse. "oh my god what is happening in there?" fumes the inspector, "same problem, but he's with BUPA...

a binman is on his usual shift when he comes across a house with no wheelie bin outside. so he walks up to the house and knocks the door. no-one answers so after a minute or so he knocks again. eventually a small japanese geezer opens the door, "harro" he smiles. "alright mate, wheres ya bin?" asks the binman, "i bin having piss" replies the japanese man. " no mate, wheres ya BIN?", " ok, i bin having poo" says the japanese guy. frustrated the binman shouts " no, wheres ya WHEELIE BIN", "ok i wheelie bin having wank"

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again. The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself. So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four Chinese men.

what do you call one bluenose on the moon? a problem what do you call 50 bluenoses on the moon? a problem what do you call 1000 bluenoses on the moon? a problem what do you call all the bluenoses on the moon? problem solved :oops:

3 tampons walking down the road. which one says hello? none of them, they're all stuck up cnuts

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle she was eager to find out all she could about him. After an hours worth of questions, Jane asks "Tarzan what do you do for sex?" "Tarzan not know sex" came the reply. So Jane explains sex to tarzan and tarzan says "oh, Tarzan just use hole in trunk of tree." "no,no" says Jane and takes off all her clothes. "Here Tarzan, you put it in here." So Jane lies on the floor and tarzan gives her an almightly kick between her legs. After Jane had finished rolling around in agony she asks "what did you do that for?!" "Tarzan check for bees"

A woman notices a small wrinkled man sitting in a rocking chair on his front porch. She walks over to him and says "you look like you've lived a long life, whats your secret?". The man replies "well I smoke 50 fags a day, drink gallons of vodka and whiskey each day, and make sure i've always got some drugs with me". "Wow" says the woman, " how old are you?" "24"