Mandy Lifeboats

I went to see the Bottom Live shows. There was an amazing anarchic atmosphere, some vicious heckles and equally vicious responses by Rik Mayall. It was so good that I booked to see the show again at another venue. It was the same hecklers, shouting the same heckles at exactly the same time in the show. Illusions shattered.

My minor claim to fame - I made Bob Mortimer laugh and got a round of applause at a Shooting Stars Show. Shooting Stars did live shows. I went to one in Wolverhampton. The panel included Wolves Manager Mark Magee. Wolves were doing badly and he wasn't well liked. Bob was doing the "True or False" round and simply said "Mark Magee, Football Manager". I yelled out "False".

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-zelenskyy-nato-russia-nuclear-162428316989 “Zelensky did not ask NATO to use nuclear weapons”.

As I said at the time, it was fake and I had seen it a few months ago. The subtitles suggested he was asking for a pre-emptive nuclear strike. He wasn’t. He did suggest pre-emptive use of sanctions and pre-emotive destruction of Russia weapons before they became active. That seems very reasonable to me. It’s the standard that Russia has already set as acceptable.

I love Monty Python, but it has a problem, 80% was utter rubbish. The remaining was pure genius that is unmatched. It’s an easy to watch 20 minutes of Python and conclude it’s not worth watching.

Not quite British TV comedies but worth a look - John Cleese delivering the eulogy at Graham Chapman's funeral. Bob Newhart's monologue - the Student Driver What Goes Up Might Come Down - After dinner speech by Birmingham Airtraffic controller David Gunson. Lenin Of The Rovers by Alexi Sayle Welcome To Our Village. Please Invade Carefully - Radio Comedy

Porridge, Ripping Yarns, Blackadder, Fawlty Towers, Red Dwarf, Man Down, The Office, Extras, Life's Too Short, Black Books, Staged, Operation Good Guys, IT Crowd,

"Western NATO-standard fighter jets." What does that actually mean? NATO has a range of fighters including MIGs held by the ex-Warsaw Pact countries. Are Poland's MIG29 considered "NATO-Standard" if they are armed with NATO weapons? I guess this announcement is more about training Ukrainians in the relative safety of UK Airspace than specifically handing over RAF Eurofighters.

A gentleman should walk and never run.

A kidnapper could buy a lot of biscuits and tennis balls for £100,000.

Stop calling me Bigfoot.

Or she suffered a sudden serious illness and stumbled into the river whilst disorientated.

It's fairly obvious what's happened. Bulley is actually an MI5 agent and needs to dissappear. She is being hunted by the Flat Earth Society because she has found definitive proof that the Earth is a globe. She regularly went to the same place to walk her dog. She left her phone on the bench so that it could be easily traced. She then hid in bushes near the river. Police Officers arrived at the area with the cover story of searching for her. She then slipped out from the bushes wearing a Police uniform and simply left the scene with other officers. I even have proof - No-one has denied that she is an MI5 Agent. No-one has released CCTV images showing the Police leaving the scene. There are several examples throughout history of people wearing different clothes to disguise themselves. One of the officers leaving the scene had a ridiculously large moustache.

Collared.

Dogs are terrible murderers. All the Police need to do is point af the body and repeatedly ask "Who did this? Did you do this?" They normally confess.

No leads.

Yes. His name was Fred and he was considered a holy man one of the local Hindu temples. They would feed him and make sure his tent was in good repair. I remember when one joker installed a Sky dish for him. He had 2 amazing backstories neither of which was ever confirmed. Some of his family claim that he fled to England in 1939 to join the free Polish Army, But other said that he joined the Nazis and fought with the Africa corps. He was captured and held as a POW.

I don't ask about the shoes. Mrs Lifeboats doesn't ask about the watch. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

Sergey! We need camouflage to help our green air defence missiles blend into all this concrete. Get me a massive green square of even brighter green material to make it look even bigger and even greener.

I think the original speech was in response to Russian missiles hitting Ukraine. Zelensky was suggesting that rather than proving weapons to intercept the missiles NATO should provide weapons that stopped the missiles being fired at all.

Good fake. But absolutely a fake. I saw it 6 months ago. Watch it carefully concentrating on the mouth. The mouth is overlaid on the face.

A few years ago, I was dealing with a legal matter at work. One of the minor parties involved is an A-list Celebrity and somewhat of a sex symbol. I wrote to her management team requesting a meeting. I had no expectation of even getting a reply. A few months later they replied that she was too busy but might be available later that year. A few months later she turned up at our offices unannounced. She was charming, chatted to everyone and was nothing like her media persona. I pulled a sickie and missed it all.

China can take over the world if they continue their current trajectory. If Russia put that at risk, China would act. In my lifetime the USSR and China have fought over their border and threatened nukes.

Here he is. I think that must have been Celtic's 3rd strip? Those are definitely winner's medals for the SPL.