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paddy

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Posts posted by paddy

  1. Today I took my tally to 4 after sharing a few pints of Monteiths with Nick so I was wondering how many most people had met, and who'd met the most. I know for a lot of you it's going to be none, but I reckon some of you must have made double figures, so go on, who's met the most.

    I've met (in no particular order)

    Villabufoon

    Villatoff (where's he gone?)

    John Cresswell

    Nick Rogers

    Ok now it won't let me edit the poll so I can include the "**** heaps (please specify)" option, ah well.

  2. I was somewhere inbetween the top 2, I love my job but wouldn't say I miss it when I'm not working. I'm on holiday now so not missing my job, but it's the best job I'l ever have no doubt about that but my contract only has 4 weeks to run :(

  3. Way to go to kill a thread yesnomaybe, I'll have to try and revive it with my favourite list of jokes ever, not all jokes are funny, some are sad, and some are as bad as the one above, I know there's someone on here who loves them but I can't remember who, they're in this thread already somewhere I think but here they are again...

    Sad Jokes

    Not all jokes are funny. Some are tragic. When someone else is run over by a steamroller, it's funny. When it happens to you, it's not so funny. In fact, it normally kills you. Although not always. Sometimes you end up very flat, but survive. That's also sad.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Man: Doctor, I've broken my leg.

    Doctor: I'm afraid it is a very bad break. You will never walk again.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Policeman: Knock, knock.

    Woman: Who's there?

    Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell.

    Eventually they all starved to death.

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To escape the Nazis.

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    A man walks into a pub.

    He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

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    Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?

    She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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    What do you call a cat with no tail?

    A manx cat.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why do undertakers wear ties?

    Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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    How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why do women fake orgasms?

    Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Two men are sitting in a pub.

    One man turns to the other and says: "Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."

    The other man replies: "Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Did you hear about the Irishman found under a shop?

    Yes, he was killed and buried there. It was gang-related.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Man: What a beautiful dog. Does he bite?

    Dog-owner: No.

    Man: Can I pet him?

    Dog-owner: No, he has a form of eczema that makes him skin weep if touched.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    How can you tell when an Essex girl wants sex?

    She displays signs of arousal, such as enlargement of the clitoris and swelling of the labia.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What's the difference between a rottwieller and a poodle?

    There are many differences. They are two totally different breeds of dog.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What do you get if you cross a horse and a donkey?

    A mule.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on a plane.

    However, it is a short flight and they do not talk to each other.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

    You call him an ambulance. He may have fractured his skull.

  4. Great young player and will take over as number 1

    Sums it up for me.

    a tremedous bit of business by Stride & Marion

    Yep, so much for not signing players while Doug's in hospital.

  5. And now Corradi, I recognise the name but know very little about him. This from skysports

    Bernardo Corradi's future destination remains unclear according to his agent, although his departure from Valencia is set in stone.

    The forward has endured a troubled time at the Mestalla since his move as part of the ill-fated Italian influx under previous Che boss Claudio Ranieri, and recently indicated that he would not return to the Spanish outfit.

    Corradi's agent Moreno Roggi has now exclusively told skysports.com that his client will definitely be ending his spell with Quique Sanchez Flores's side, although no concrete offers have yet been received for his services.

    "The situation is really fluid, there are no definite offers at the moment so we will wait a few weeks," Roggi told skysports.com.

    "The only sure thing is that Corradi will leave Valencia.

    "It is always open to the Italian track and the English one too. I repeat, we must wait a few weeks.

    "For the moment there are not concrete offers."

    The former Lazio man has been linked with a return to the Rome side in recent days, although would have to be willing to accept a pay cut with Biancocelesti supremo Claudio Lotito unwilling to shell out for high salaries.

    Premiership interest has also been strong in the past, with Tottenham, Aston Villa and Charlton all tracking Corradi's progress.

  6. According to that list Fulham weren't satisfied with releasing Sean Doherty once, so they released him a second time.

    Missed out Steven Cooke too.

    Pompey fans must be pretty pissed off losing Yakubu, Berger, Hislop and Stone, they've all done well for pompey over the past few years.

    I didn't realise Sunderland sold Stewart despite him being top scorer, can't figure that one out. I see Bridges is on the market again, hopefully we don't get linked with him.

    Oh and Boro are up on players too.

  7. Not my favourite version of this joke but I couldnt' be bothered to type it all out, so you can have this version instead, still pretty good.

    A young lad is totally into tractors. He subscribes to the latest magazines, he know the latest models etc. One day however, he sees a tractor kill a dog and he becomes less and less interested in tractors because every time he thinks of them he is reminded of the poor dog.

    10 years pass and the lad (now a young man) walks into a bar with his girlfriend.

    Girlfriend : God I hate it when its so smoky in these places?

    The lad takes a deep breath and much to his girlfriends amazement he then proceeds to breathe in all the smoke in the bar.

    Girlfriend : Wow, how did you do that??

    Young Man : Didn't you know that I'm an ex-tractor fan!!

  8. What's the point in saying he's bad or good - never seen him play

    I doubt you've ever seen Ronaldinho in the flesh but I guess you'd think he's a good signing.

    I've seen Hughes and never taken much notice but just because of all the comments from toon fans I have to say good signing. Better than Bellamy would be, espeially for 1m, same we paid for Kinsella wasn't it, and half the price of DLC.

  9. poppycock!

    where has the nonsense about Arsenal sniffing around him come from ? has anyone seen the kids Arsenal have already ? that practically got to the cup final last year. i somehow don't think they'll be trying to sign young Luke on his performances in a Villa shirt so far

    lol

    He had a contract offer for them for christ's sake. That was before he even made a first team appearance for us, it's widely known they've wanted him for ages. We didn't exactly sign Ridge on his first team appearances for West Ham did we? Arsenal's policy is to get as many youth players as they can and then just get rid of the ones they no longer want, they spent millions each year on bringing in youth players. Glad we cleared that up.

  10. I would say back to his best next season, I wouldn't say better than ever though. Unfortunately that wasn't an option on the poll. It's ridiculous how at the start of the season anyone saying get rid of Angel or Mellberg would be shot down in flames yet now they're fairly common comments. Next season if they're both still here the opinion could sway completely the other way no doubt. I think Angel's a class act, I don't think we could bring in anyone better with the money available to us (unless we spent 15m (if we really have it) all on the one player which is just stupid)

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