rjw63

Never!

Be sorted til NEXT Christmas!

A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Birmingham and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk.

The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies, "Uh... yes here it is... OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions. Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the Gynaecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of £35,000 but I'm afraid you'll have to go to Aberdeen."

"Oh why, is that where the job's based?"

"No, that's where the end of the queue is!"

A man and a woman, who had never met before but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on an overnight sleeper-train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 am, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you but could you reach into the cupboard to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold up here". "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.

"WOW!!! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "get your own **** blanket!".

There was a stunned silence.

Then he farted.

What do you call four cows and a blackbird?

The Spice Girls.

ooh ah, just the job

Good work Statmeister

If I accept the Lord, will he make my cock a bit bigger?

cant believe SIX people on this site think Villa supporters are more delusional than the Sty dwellers

three votes for Villa now.......bloody Scandinavians

Ok, who voted for Villa?

Yeah, which knobrot voted for us?????

Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

Followed by Moore and Lynott - Out In The Fields

Got to be the dirtystinkingunwashedinbredsisterfucking Blosers

Depends how young ;-)

For me, I would struggle to see why any young ambitious player would not relish and embrace the opportunity to be part of the improving team that is Aston Villa in season 2007/08 under Martin and Randy’s leadership. I also suspect that any players who do turn down that opportunity are likely to regret it in the fullness of time.

I agree with this comment, well said :-)

My favourite thing in Top Gear:

Barcodes......... scanned .......

Very good!

I thought UFC 79 was a German submarine

This booking rules Cassano out of Sampdoria's next game against his former club, Roma, but he's a hard man and he takes the booking on the chin ...

Can't believe that **** bender!

If that happened over here he'd be hounded at every game - and deservedly so

Can anyone who sits near the back of the Holte Upper, please pass the word round that a certain Steve Bruce may be a clown, but he no longer works at the circus in our town

Spice Girls - Say you'll be there

Thats worse than Britney!!!!

General........I must say the Colts (or should I say Dolts) were F***ING useless tonight.

Hard luck to the Browns

The first part of that report was Stuart Hall-esque - nice one :-)

But the angry mob assume many things, and only see a criminal, a pervert, and a wrong act.

I'm just jealous :-)

^^^ **** hell thats an old 'un........but my version involves Lady Penelope and Parker