rjw63

Very poor game today, not sure if Wigan played well or we just made them look better.

And it was goodbye Olof, and probably goodbye Barry, Bouma, carson, Berger and Sorensen. MON is going to be busy in the summer.................

You must look at the same sites I do.......I saw that yesterday too

A newly married couple are laid back resting after having a non-stop shagging session throughout the night. He's laid there smoking a cigarette while his new Thai wife is playfully stroking his cock.

"Are you trying to get me hard yet again honey?" he said.

"No, I'm just missing mine" she replied.

How can you tell when your girlfriend is too young?

When you make aeroplane sounds before you stick your cock in her mouth.

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said

"morning."

He replied, "No, just having a shit."

Ive just noticed too. But as VT's premier connoisseur of pr0n, i think you are a fair target! *coughs nervously*

I agree totally! :winkold:

Nayson has to find a new job, and quickly.........

I think I have a new stalker!

AC/DC - TNT

I thought Lichaj was decent at RB.

And I thought it was quite amusing, the amount of times Arse players were on the deck chewing the cud, when not one Villa player did it

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says "I see... take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor" she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me but now my farts - although still silent - stink terribly." The doctor says "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses let's work on your hearing..."

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You've gotta be kiddin' me." "No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree & pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewellery, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake..."

Got Kerrang radio on - its actually pretty decent at night. I have given up watching telly

I used to be able to drink a bottle of Blue Label smirnoff with Red Bull. Used to love it.

Now the smell of it makes me want to heave

Got enough Poles over here...........

Best second city derby ever

General - I hope you gave Werewolf Gold a slap ;-)

Judas Priest - Metal Gods

Silverchair - Freak

Judas Priest - Red White & Blue

A drunken man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath." The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned," then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "Oh I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

A man goes to a disco and starts chatting with a very attractive looking Chinese girl. She appears to be all over him and soon asks him back to her place "for a coffee".

When they get to her flat she tells him to help himself to a drink while she slips into something more comfortable.

Just as he finishes getting his drink the sexy Chinese seductress returns wearing only a see-through negligee. "I am your sex slave!" she says, "I will do absolutely ANYTHING you want".

Well the man is taken a little bit by surprise and can't believe his luck. So he says: "I really fancy a 69..." "**** Off" replies the girl, "I'm not cooking at this time of night"

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, "What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor"? The doctor replied, "It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep the sheets off his legs."

The Feeling - Without You

and Coldplay - The Scientist

^^^

For Those About To Rock - AC/DC