Jonesy7211

8 hours ago, KentVillan said:

Really delighted to hear this. Has she asked you how it went? Hope you can resolve everything and at least this is one big stress lifted from your mind

No, but she bought my lad over to see me.

8 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

If you don’t mind me asking how old are you and what’s your diet like? The liver is great at sorting itself out if it hasn’t been too badly damaged .

I'm 42, and my diet is not too bad during the week, but on a weekend it's awful. We enjoy a takeaway with the kids on a Saturday, and I always make a Sunday roast, but it's in no way good for you. I even roast the carrots in honey

I suspect the issue with my liver is more related to all the corticosteroids and strong meds I use to control my health condition. I'm probably more worried than I should be because the gent in the bed to my left has liver cancer.

1 hour ago, leemond2008 said:

Anyways, this ain't about me, I found out the other day that a lad I used to play football with years ago killed himself, that's the 5th person (if you include the one that pretty much killed himself via the drink) that I know that has done it, none of them particularly close at the time but I knew them all pretty well over the years, and the thing is, most of them were the most outgoing likeable sociable **** that you could imagine, then you look at me, I fly solo, I live alone, I avoid social interaction and I'm happy as ****, it makes me wonder what goes wrong for them, it really hits hard man, it isn't like I'm sitting here saying "could I have been a better friend" because I haven't know him for **** ages but man, I don't know if I just had a dysfunctional set of pals growing up but that just seems like too many people to have known to go that way.

Not trying to push this on you, but I'd recommend a company called whysup. All over social media, specialising in mental health and addiction.

I attended a meeting with their MD, who really was the man who had it all, humble beginnings, but was so utterly depressed he became such a risk to himself via drink, drugs, and gambling that he was sectioned. He didn't realise he'd got into this state. He was sectioned further times because he thought nobody noticed and he could handle it and neither statement was close to the truth. There's obviously much more to it than this, and after being sectioned further times and nearly losing his life, wife, and family he eventually turned it around.

All of the changes were first mental changes, but he's recognised some of these and shares his journey to positivity, analysing different steps along the way.

You may get something from the videos or not, but it may help. You may in turn share this with somebody you thinks needs some kind of help.

(I do not work for them, just had a really great group session with the MD)

2 hours ago, Jon said:

The Wrong 'Un? 

She doesn't let me do that anymore, Farmer Giles. Fair one really.

4 minutes ago, Sid4ever said:

Indeed, and all the best for Thursday.  Unlike @Rds1983 I am still waiting for results, ultrasound showed liver disease hopefully(?) caused by my UC, which would be manageable,

Fingers crossed you get a positive result. I've been on immunosuppressants for 12 years and that has caused me all sorts of problems that had symptoms of other, more serious problems, but manageable once I got to the bottom of them. I hope this is the same for you.

This issue with all fans having "bias" claims are relative to the historical size of a club over the Premier League era. This has rubbed off on the fans too. The sky 7 all complain about it because they're used to getting decisions in their favour the majority of time.

We, and the clubs that sit outside the sky 7 are actively expecting decisions to go against us we're outraged it keeps happening. So we're just waiting for the next decision.

I'd also argue there's a worthwhile point to be argued in how we deal with the media. We're not open about our business, and after Tony left there's been no silly sound bites out of the club, we don't have any rent a gobs.

Martin Samuel has previously said that journos now write more columns about the sky 7 clubs and clubs in crisis because they generate more clicks.

Finally, the standard of the ex players making a living as a commentator is awful. They don't know much about any clubs they didn't play for. There's loads of Man utd and Liverpool players, and over the next few years we'll see City players getting a job there too. This will not help the situation.

41 minutes ago, Sid4ever said:

Shakespeare couldn’t have described it better.  Stealing that for the next consultant appointment.

Poo jokes are the best way to deal with it, the consultant will love it.

2 hours ago, Xela said:

Well, its more of a pain in the stomach, before it sprays out of your arse like a faulty shower-head  

This is more true than people realise. I don't think they'll know the relief and happiness you can get when you have a great dump.

6 hours ago, Genie said:

Also the keenness to go to Liverpool, is she close with people up there (aside from her mum)?

She is really close to her mum, and she's wanted to go back for a few years. She's close to her sisters and her mates too. We talk about it and always agree where we are is best for the kids for right now. They're doing very well in school and life, and have really good friends.

I'm not even against the idea in principle.

I feel really selfish because one the major reasons we stay is also for a health condition I have, ulcerative colitis. I have regular visits for infusions, blood tests, cameras, checkups. I'm sure she does hold that against me.

I do take her up once every two or three weeks though.

6 hours ago, mjmooney said:

I really hate to say this, buddy, and I really hope I'm wrong, but she could well be seeing somebody else, and she's looking for a smokescreen excuse to split up without owning up to the real reason. 

Not sure about these early menopause suggestions. I had the opposite experience - my wife had terrible hormonal rages that severely threatened our marriage, but the menopause was the best thing that could have happened - she calmed right down, and we've got along much better ever since. 

Whatever it is, I hope things work out for you. 

Thank you for your support, like everyone else offering any advice or care, it's so greatly appreciated.

I really hope she's not cheated again. It'd make me so hateful, and that's really not who I ever want to be. When I was young my parents were that way, I'm always determined not to be them.

1 minute ago, AvfcRigo82 said:

Are you thinking her reasoning is down to not much action of late and your linking the two?

Sorry, must have explained badly. Up until my head starting hurting a few weeks ago we were having sex 4-5 times a week, depending on what time my oldest fell asleep.

Just now, AvfcRigo82 said:

He is wrong to have thrown insults and you were right to verbally disapline him. You're simply teaching him what is respect and what's not acceptable.

She is also wrong to undermine your parenting - especially in front of the child too.

.. which leads me to my point, is that another thing she suddenly "used to her advantage" in that moment to also use as ammunition in her justification for mud to through at you to justify her sudden command for divorce.

 

Parents will usually have different approaches, it's about how you communicate with each other. There are probably many many times she's been right and I've been wrong.

Not worried about any ammo she has. My son much prefers me. He's old enough for his opinion to matter in court. Also I've still got evidence she cheated, on an old phone. Lots of apologies admitting what happened.

10 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

It could be that. It could be early onset menopause. It could be similar to @Genie’s situation. It could be a misunderstanding. Maybe she has good reason to feel this way but isn’t ready to explain it properly. Loads of possibilities.

There’s no real benefit to doing any detective work, all you can do is try to keep your head and be open to speaking at some point, and then work things out from there.

I don't mean to be a control freak, I just find it hard not to understand why someone would split up a family. I could understand if I was in the pub all the time (I've been out without her twice in six month), if I cheated on her, I beat her and the kids, if I didn't support them, do housework (I do a lot more), beat them, or treat them badly. I just want to talk to her so I can understand. She might say something that I didn't consider a problem, and I can either make changes or agree to leave them for a better life.

6 minutes ago, AvfcRigo82 said:

Sorry to be the first one to go this way, but ill be totally honest too, do you think she's been planning this?

 

In all honesty, no. We still have (had) a healthy sex life after all these years. This is quite likely a sexist and biased view, but my life experience tells me women associate sex with love, unlike men.

That being said she cheated on me before I was diagnosed with depression, when I was at my lowest and needed her the most.

7 minutes ago, Genie said:

Day 5 she comes to see me, apologising and saying sometimes things get out of hand in her head and she over reacted. We kiss and make up.

Hopefully this is a similar situation to what your OH is going through @Jonesy7211

Thank you for sharing, it's appreciated.

It happened in a similar way to us. I asked my son to finish his homework, as he has kick boxing on Monday, football on Tuesday, and swimming on Wednesday. I said he'd be up too late in the week to finish otherwise. He threw some insults at me, and it went from there as she disagreed and accused me of making him do an impossible task, when I never said. It was meant to be lesson in not leaving things, and freeing up time in the future.

I sincerely hope it turns around, like it did for you.

11 minutes ago, theboyangel said:

@Jonesy7211 first thing - I hope all goes well on Thursday with the test results.

Secondly, maybe discuss your health concerns with your wife and how it has affected your temperament and recent behaviour. I’m sure she’ll understand. 

I tried that when I apologized, to which her response was "that's not an excuse". She walked away and told me to leave her alone.

1 minute ago, KentVillan said:

If you have some sensible, wise old heads around… mates or family … who you can talk to, then that is a good idea. Not necessarily for advice, because everyone will have their own opinion, but mainly for sanity. What drives a lot of people crazy in these situations is letting all the thoughts spin around in their own head, and not offloading.

I don't dare call them at the moment, I don't want her to hear or misconstrue anything I say to them. I've messaged my close mates and we're going to have a WhatsApp conf call at lunch tomorrow.

Not knowing is killing me. I struggle with anxiety anyway, so my head really wasn't in the best place before all this.

Even if there have been things I've been doing wrong, I'd like to work on what it is.

5 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

That’s brutal to read . Seems like she’s gone way OTT but maybe there’s other issues that she has and that’s just an excuse.?  Firstly though you need to see what happens Thursday and I really hope it’s good news for you regarding your appointment.  Like others will tell you , you’re not alone on here x

I can't imagine a worse thing to do to me. My dad was the worst father and husband. Physically abusive to me and his first two wives, only thought about himself, knobbed everything with a pulse, going on several boys holidays a year whilst we didn't go anywhere etc. I've gone the other way and they always come before me because I suffered from my dad's behaviours.

I don't doubt there's something else at play, but she simply won't talk to me.

Thank-you for your sympathy, it genuinely means a lot.

Disappointing from Sky too. They silence was deafening. No way that they don't show that 30 times and Carragher spits all over the mic if that's gone for us.

VAR doing it's bit for the immoral Geordie Saudis. Over the line and the handball, take your pick.

One time I'm glad of VAR, we weren't getting anything out that ref. I can't imagine how frustrating it would have been for our boys. Well done for keeping their heads. Professional.

There's no way Chambers is better than Kesler Hayden. I'd rather we'd have kept him around.