ArteSuave

Hooray.

We must be close to breaking the record for most bookings in a season. It's at least 4 every week.

TAKE THAT FRANCIS YOU word removed

Bannan off, N'Zogbia on. Maybe we won't look so hideously toothless then.

Guzan up with Neuer and Courtois for World Goalkeeper of the year IMO... If that's a thing.

**** unbelievable shot stopping, command of area, catching and punching.

Clint Hill.

Prepare Your Anus.

You'd have to define hardness first IMO. Do you mean least amount of concern for their own personal safety, least amount of concern for harming others or who would win in a bloodsportesque kumite?

Them scary bastards the old farts (sorry) have mentioned would definitely be up there for the first two categories but miles away for the third IMO. There's a reason that athletes don't drink 10 pints a day and sleep in a bush outside the pub these days and it's not 'cause they're not 'ard, it's because that makes you weaker and slower and less fit.

There are some scary Eastern Euro, South American and African players who would be up there for 1 and 2 as well. El hadj Djiouf, Jose Batista, Troutmann, Gentile and all those evil type blokes.

As far as who'd win the kumite, I'd agree that Ibra, Ferguson and James would all do OK. Maybe it's because I love him but I think our resident brick shithouse, weighing in at 15 stone with a thick neck and frying pan hands, would give almost anyone a pasting.

Three two.

To us.

I hate all those adverts that pretend they are talking to real people.

HELLO, RANDOM PASSING STRANGER!

HELLO SALESPERSON!

TRY OUR PRODUCT! IT'S GREAT!

*tries product*

YOU SEE, IT ACTUALLY WORK BETTER THAN COMPETITORS BECAUSE OF BULLSHIT REASON!

WOW IT IS GREAT! I WOULD DEFINITELY RECOMMEND THIS TO MY OWN MOTHER!

Bale's freekicks only matched in quality by AVBean's reaction to them. The velociraptor for the first was the pick of the bunch.

Rubbish Again.

 

Pathetic 5 yard pass to Lowton that just rolled out of play. Unable to perform the basics. 

 

He had over 90% pass completion yesterday. He misplaced 3 passes all game. (Only 3 players (Santon, Vlaar and Perch) completed a higher percentage)

 

I think you might just have picked out the anomaly rather than the norm there, mate.

Wrong. He's awful and offers nothing. Same as that idiot in goal, he pushed one of the shots round the post instead of catching it. Don't get me started on Benteke, did you see him try to turn on the edge of their box and get tackled? Pathetic, useless, awful. All of them. Get them out.

Do you have a link to that interview CI? It sort of reads a bit like (disgruntled) fanfiction.

No matter what anyone says on here the stats are very favourable for Bannan when you compare between other midfielders in his position. Crossing, short and long passing, accuracy, work rate, creativity. (Key passes are the creativity stat, not assists).

 

He's most criticised for what he's not in the team to do: tackling. He's not a defensive midfielder. He's criticised for that because criticising someone for not doing something that is not their job is cheap and easy.

 

Bannan also has that "extra gear" other players do not. He's not found it yet for us consistently but when he does he will make the doubters look silly.

 

A good dark horse fantasy premier league team pick next year I suspect.

 

Bollocks.

I agree with Trent. As you can see from the heat map below, Bannan (left) is mainly bollocks.

 

To think that Gary Gardner was supposed to be just as good as him before their respective injuries (first injuries), if not a bit better.

According to who? I've seen this posted a few times but never seen it attributed to anyone it just seems to be another of these often repeated comments which people have just accepted.

Who is supposed to have said he was as good?

Wilshere himself I believe.. There was an article where both those two and one other were interviewed..jw said that Gardner was the best he had ever played with

I remember the article. It was them two, Shelvey and the kid Spurs stole off Simon Jordan.

I don't remember Wilshere making any such claim about Gardner though.

"I would crawl through a mile of salt and barbed wire just to sniff the puddle water that one of Wilshire's passes landed in"  --  Andres Iniesta.

True story.

I did Nazi that coming! *ba dum tsssshhh*

Nope? Nobody?... Hello?

When Arry took over they were six points from safety. After spending ~£25m and adding a metric shit tonne to the wage bill they are now seven points from safety.

Edit - Never mind, stevo pointed this out on the last page. I'll get my coat.

And there was me thinking the only good thing about the latest series was Chael...

Good for you Tegis, what are the crowd like in Sweden? Shouting "Bang 'im out!" through every fight with tribal tattoos and naff jewellery like over here?

Edit - And here's the most grim KO of the week.

if Bannan played exactly the way he did, But was 6ft 4

 

No one would complain... He would be called Carlton Palmer 2.0

Fixed.

If Stan comes on for one last goodbye appearance I can't make any promises. Getting relegated isn't something to cry over though IMO.

Athiest Church for feck's sake?

What we really need is a place where like minded people can meet up and talk about how they don't watch films.

"Did you see that new film?"

"No."

"Me neither."

*crickets*

Were 19th in the league. Cant win for toffee. Getting outplayed by teams in lower divisions. Stop kidding yourself anybodys any good. 

 

Whats your evidence that hes decent? He looks comfortable on the ball? 

I thought his full debut vs Sunderland was very impressive and he looks fairly good any time he's not lumped with 2 players' work (when Bannan is playing).

Getting outplayed by Bradford in a competition Westwood was cuptied for is a bit of a stretch to blame on him IMO.

Being 19th doesn't mean that none of our players are "any good", QPR are 20th and they've got good players coming out their arsehole.

so far bar Lowton, the other 4 have offered zero. Absolutely zero. 

 

The fact of the matter is that only 1 out of 7 Lambert signings have worked. The rest have been awful - theres no denying it.

Just to confirm, you are of the opinion that Ashley Westwood has been "awful" and offered "absolutely zero"?

 I'm not sure we're watching the same kid.

Ridiculous main card for 156.

Oh I am sorry you sprightful chap, I'll sit here awaiting my request to reply. I didn't realise that was how a forum worked.