Designer1

Got to be God for me.

I voted GB, seems to have a level head.

Anyone but angel, the clearing in the woods!

Overeaction? :wink:

Of the movies mentioned I like the look of Be Cool. Sin City looks good from a style point of view, but I always find it's the ones that creep up out of nowhere like Closer and Sideways that turn out to be the gems.

Oh, and of course anything by my man Takashi Miike.

We have to stand by Tommy. All the best keepers make ricks from time to time. Don't think dropping him and putting the Postman in would solve anything.

Steve McQueen is cooler but Newman's the better actor imo.

Two Old Pensioners

Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them.

Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could sh@g like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody sh@g like that, particularly at your age.

What's your secret? Could you sh@g like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that f*****g fence wasn't electrified."

A YOUNG MAN CALLED PETER INVITED HIS MOTHER FOR DINNER. DURING THE COURSE OF

THE MEAL, HIS MOTHER COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HOW HANDSOME PETER'S FLATMATE

WAS. SHE HAD LONG BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO, AND

THIS ONLY MADE HER MORE CURIOUS.

OVER THE COURSE OF THE EVENING, WHILE WATCHING THE TWO INTERACT,SHE STARTED

TO WONDER IF THERE WAS MORE BETWEEN PETER AND HIS FLATMATE THAN MET THE EYE.

READING HIS MUM'S THOUGHTS, PETER VOLUNTEERED, "I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST BE

THINKING, BUT I ASSURE YOU, SIMON & I ARE JUST FLATMATES.

ABOUT A WEEK LATER, SIMON CAME TO PETER SAYING,"EVER SINCE YOUR MOTHER CAME

TO DINNER, I'VE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND THE FRYING PAN, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE SHE

TOOK IT DO YOU?" "WELL, I DOUBT IT, BUT I'LL E-MAIL HER JUST TO BE SURE,"

SAID PETER, SO HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE:

DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY

HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE FACT

REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER. LOVE

PETER

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, PETER RECEIVED AN E-MAIL FROM HIS MOTHER WHICH

READ:

DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT SAYING

THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS

SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW. LOVE MUM

LESSON OF THE DAY: DON'T EVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER ( SHE ALWAYS,ALWAYS FINDS

OUT)

It was although a good judgement to resign

Agree with that.

Oh, and welcome to VT Lee.

His mistakes were buying Curcic and Collymore

Your not wrong there. Remember when he tried to play Dorke, Collywobble and Savo up front at the same time? Disaster. Didn't we get tonked 5 or 6 by someone (Blackburn?)

Got to be Little for me. Or as the old man calls him 'The Pudding'. I think it's a reference to his hairstyle as a player.

Of course he exists. Otherwise who is bringing the myriad of presents to my two daughters tonight...hang on...my wife is just telling me something about the shops being shut...

hmm Batman the 'original' was about 20 years before this one surely and was better

"You know somedays, you just can't get rid of a bomb!" Classic stuff! Especially the rubber shark.

this was only the 2nd series of Little Britain

Spot on. I'll get me coat.

Peep Show for me. Little Britain has been good but not as good as the first two series.

Hellboy. Great entertainment!

Woman walks into a Newcastle hairdresser's....

and asks "Can I have a perm please?"

"Aye, nee problem pet. Ah wandered lernley as a clood....."

Mr Angel for me.

Neither of them would pass, even if a clear goal scoring chance would be created, with both of them trying to do everything and score a wonder goal.

Can't agree with that Doug. Every time I see Rooney play he always seems to look for a defense splitter pass as well as going for goal himself. He comes deep quite often too, unlike the overly hyped Defoe.

Owen for me, think he will have something to prove and I find Defoe extremely overrated for the impact he has made so far.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke had got for Christmas?

He'd felt his presents.

That big bearded Lungberg kicking Hardcase Hardcore Claret and Blue bleeding Mofo Mellberg.

Quality mate.

Personally, the only reason I've been a bit harsh on Nobby is because we haven't seen anything like his NUFC form. I think tomorrow could kick start that as he DOES have something to prove, regardless of what he or anyone else says.

Hopefully he will create a couple and score a couple. 4-0 wouldn't be too bad would it!

Got into the Smiths about a year before they split up (remember being gutted tbh). Loved all their stuff and it's one of the reasons me and the wife got together (both big fans). Morrissey's solo stuff has been a bit hit and miss, loved 'Vauxhall and I' didn't rate 'your arsenal'. Went to see the man himself many moons ago at Wolverhampton Civic, had to que forever but well worth it