whitsend

Why is this thread yet to turn into a The Day Today homage.

"John Terry buried in dog avalanche"

"Bouncing elephantitis woman destroys St Andrews"

THIS IS THE NEWS!!!

Off to the bookies tomorrow to collect my winnings/losings. Had a couple of quid each on Swansea, Reading & Southampton to go down. I placed the bet in August. Mathematically the saints could still go down but I doubt it. Anyone else put their money where their mouth is & have a flutter on QPR & Reading & find yourself now waiting/sweating on one other team so that you can confidently say that you have `licked up the bookies?`  Or are you predominantly a loser just lime me because let's face it 1out of 3 ain't good!

Meat Loaf will be spinning in his grave. If indeed he's dead, and has room to spin.

Time too chew ones own foot off methinks.

Excellent, so that's six Saturday 3pm kick offs at vp for the season then.

"Extraordinary Qualty Inspector".

No that really is my current secondment job title.

Just take it to a local scrap yard with your log book and they'll register it as destroid with the dvla. I'd recommend a quick google of a company called emr, they have sites pretty much everywhere and they probably pay the best and give you certificate of destruction.

who the **** are claremont foot?

Some kind of fungal infection I'd imagine.

Firstly well done to Bradford and especially Phil Parkinson who was a great blood and thunder player in his day.

Secondly, hummmph.

I stayed until the end but didn't join in the chanting mainly as I was right pissed off after having a row with some tosser who thought it was acceptable to start hurling foul language and abuse at those who chose to leave early. We really do have some utter twerps amongst our support.

Does Ashley own a bookies or casino too ?

Or would this have been private gambling ?

Private gambling. Is this the first the forum has has heard of this as I thought it was common knowledge.

Spuggy?

Joey Barton nicked her bike.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm you say?

Not quite so long a hmmmmm as my esophagus can't quite hadle it after decades of tobacco abuse.

And Pardew just got eight year extension, making it very expensive to fire him unless there's some clauses allowing Ashley to fire him.

Hmmmmmmmm doesn't the rumour to that pardew owes a few million in gambling debts to Mike Ashley gather a bit more pace now. Quick sacking, nice pay out, easy repayment = under the counter taking money out of the club. As I said before hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I won't believe this rumour until its all over the red tops.

Alex McCleish

Did well today. I like his hair.

Tonight - Work

Tomorrow - Replace a washer on a leaky outlet pipe that I can only get to by dismantling half of my fitted kitchen.

Sunday - Some football game or other.

They brek yer heart, Tom.

Where does this come from?

From Tom Ross, local journalist and general bell end.

Please, please, please let Marlon Harewood score.

Pretty sure that's an unrecorded Smiths song.

Always one better bless 'em.

Wah wah waaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

Leicester or Leicestershire.

They both seem to be a lot smaller than they use to be.

But then that could just be my eyes going for errrrr.... reasons unknown.

It's only just occured to me that Man City have managed to compile the best ugly eleven in the world.

Tevez and Lescott. Who else?

Well we all know that Milners no looker and the met office use Kompany's ears to measure wind speeds, I would go on but I fear that some would question my sexuality and grammatical compitence.

It doesn't make you homo to say another man is good looking or not. So please carry on Oh and I have to say Kompany is a surprise inclusion.

Am I being groomed?