Gingerlad

The Camerons were having sunday lunch last week when David remarked to his wife "somethings missing here",

His missus replied "yes, its the cabbage".

As they always were. I think any Villa fan with thier head screwed on would have said for months that 5th is our spot. Arsenal were always going to come good and we were punching well above our weight.

Reality strikes.

Wheres this picture you've seen then?

I had a big falling out with my mate the other day because I shagged his ex-girlfriend.

To be honest, I think he over-exaggerated how serious it was.

She's been dead three years, surely he should have moved on by now.

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I've got the big C,"he said.

"What, cancer?"

"No, dyslexia."

I went to Blockbusters to borrow "Slumdog Millionaire". When I got home I noticed there was a picture of Jade Goody on the case, so I took it back.

The guy in the shop said "Sorry, I thought you asked for 'Some dog missing hair.'"

Just go McDonalds.

Freak.

I hope they make the playoff final and lose to a last minute goal.

Look for the cider.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian recommends the Qur'an.

Bud. then some more. then some more.

Aston and Owen are so cute. And two names I wish to see associated more often on VT.

Love the stained glass windows, General.

Rev takes his target advertising campaign a little too far

I got my son his first razor today. I watched as he scraped away the foam and made sure he did not cut himself. I looked down with pride when he had towelled off and said, "Remember son, your cock looks much bigger without pubes."

Rape: because I'm a lover AND a fighter!

I phoned a child abuse line the other day.

The kid at the other end of the line told me to **** off.

Beer...

helping ugly people to get laid since 1876.

Rohypnol...

guaranteeing it since 1992.

FACE. Has their face fallen on one side?

ARMS. Can they raise both arms and keep them there?

SPEECH. Is their speech slurred?

TIME. To rape them. The Rohypnol has taken effect.

I was about 14-years-old when my dad caught me drinking.

I said, "Dad, honest it's the first time."

"That's a lie" he replied, "No one ever gets caught at doing anything the first time."

So later that night, I went out and raped someone.

Apparently about 1 person in 10 is homosexual.

Also around 1 person in 10 uses an Apple Mac.

Coincidence?

Wendy Richard, Jade Goody and Patrick Swayze are all to star in panto this year.........

Oh no they're not....

General Krulak here:

2. Gingerlad: Were their stewards in the area? Could you please tell me about where this incident took place.

Back of T2, also away fans openly celebrating in the seats that are sectioned off in the middle of the North Stand upper. Stewards claimed they cannot do anything about that too.

General.

I know its difficult for the club to police but away fans in the home end is a real problem still. Fighting in the Upper North in front of young children.

Not what I expect from grown adults but when you have away fans openly celebrating its not suprising that tempers flare.

Music. Couldn't live without Sir Mick of Hucknall.