Gingerlad

Ivory Coast 5, Malawi 0.

Ivory Coast fans were "Over the Moon".

Malawi fans were said to be "Crushed".

I went to an STD clinic the other day and all the girls in the waiting room looked filthy!

I thought to myself, "I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as some of these girls".

Then I remembered, she was, and that's why I was here.

Everything on the list apart from Heroin.

Really?

Please tell me you're joking.

For one thing it'd probably kill a jinja

Its been proven that for a Ginger, taking the drugs mentioned is less harmfull than standing in direct sunlight for more than 2 mins.

Everything on the list apart from Heroin.

FOR SALE: Ladies blond wig, unused mothers day gift. Please contact Bobby and Frddie - Essex.

SILENCE!! I Kill You!

Best one so far.

Yes, of course.

Goodbye England's pig

may you never grow in our heart

You were the chav that placed herself

where legs were spread apart.

You called out to our racists

and you whispered into their brain

now you belong to Satan

and you can't spell out your name

And it seems to me you lived your life

having Cancer In The Minge

ever fading with the sunset

when the pain set in

and your trotters will always fall here

along England's meanest swills

your hair has fell out long before

your fanny ever will

So he doesnt support them often then.

What's the difference between Bananaman and Superman?

One's a fruit, one's a vegetable

Christiano Ronaldo goes to the doctors and says "doctor every time I look in the mirror I get turned on" the doctor says "I'm not surprised you're a word removed!"

Two Dyslexics working in a kitchen.

The first say's "Can you smell Gas?"

The second replies "I can't even smell my own name!!"

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "can I smell your pussy?"

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "certainly not!"

"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet then".

Gay Ray goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Ray is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

"Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

Ray asks bewildered, "Will that cure me, Doc? "

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ****' arse is for."

Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection.

"What's that, Mummy?" asks the child.

"Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on.

A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?"

"That, son, is the elephant's penis."

"Mummy said it was nothing."

"Your mother's spoiled, Son!"

A guy goes to his local golf club and sees the most beautiful woman. He asks her to partner him in a game to which she agrees.

She wipes the floor with him and as a runners up prize she gives him the best blowjob he's ever had. Obviously he invites her to do the same the week later, again she kicks his ass and gives him another mindblowing blowjob. He asks her if the next time she wins they can have full blown sex.

She declines explaining that she's actually a transsexual.

The man is going **** nuts, to which she enquires: "but you weren't complaining when I was giving you those amazing blowjobs".

"**** the blowjobs" he says, "you've been playing off the **** women's tees!!"

I've made it!!

What's the difference between Natasha Richardson and Francesca Anobile?

About 45mph.

Why do you never read the headline "Psychic Wins Lotto"?

It's reported today that Elisabeth Fritzl had sex with her father in front of her 3 children.

The dirty bitch.

I prefer it anolgue. I use my finger.

Decent blog HERE

That cat bne teh ian blgo... three aer on ytops!

He had me spelcheck it first.

Decent blog HERE

Does anyone else think that when Josef Fritzl final enters his cell he is going to think, "Mines way better...."