gregavfc

So you do actually have some cover then... Albeit you didn't take it out personally and it's from your company. Would you consider it if your wife didn't get a payout from your company?

The company I work for is American, so to me, it's insurance.

Whats everyones views on life insurance? I've recently started a new job helping people put some protection in place for their families, with one very rewarding, albeit upsetting, experience. Interested to know how popular/unpopular it is as I'd never really thought about it until the job started.

Peter Pannu's car was allegedly attacked outside the ground with him in it. It was a club car apparently. Scum. There is going to be mayhem at Leeds, Millwall and Cardiff this year with those knuckledraggers in town. They may as well open the gates to Winson Green prison and let everyone out. You say scum.. But it wasn't long ago that a bunch of Villa fans attacked David Gold's car with him and his wife in it.

What does COYS mean?

General, As an American military man, what are your views on the Bin Laden death? Are you happy/relieved/worried about future events?

and that one i think

that ones been on here before i think

it's jesus lol. i had to cut it down because it wouldn't fit. the whole picture is funny though

to be honest kalim i dont want anything to do with all the shit hes been posting. i apologise on his behalf

apologies

im pretty sure i havent seen it on here. you must have read it somewhere else

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

My mate spilled a drink on his shirt, he said, "this one is on me."

There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

What's green and smells like pork?? Kermit's finger

hehe

lmao!!! took me a while to get it though

lmao!!!!

cmon lets keep this to jokes. what's the difference between the french and toast?? you can make soldiers out of toast

What do you call a frenchman in sandals? Phillippe Fellop

sorry lads. i thought they were funny

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. "Certainly madam", he replied courteously. "Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary. "Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?" Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary. "Certainly madam," he replied. "And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning madam...sleep well?" "Yes, thank you," Mary replied. "Food to your liking?" "Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs tho....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully. "Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist. "OK, I will...thanks!" replied Mary....who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. "Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??" "I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a Doctor; come in and I will get him!" Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting, melody fills the house. Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! ... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.