Nigel

is it just me or does anyone else thing lucas neill is over-rated? id rather have emerton

It would be pederson for me!

If we are talkin Blackburn!

have we ever had a proper out and out winger at VP?

I'm a big fan of wing play - teams who play that system score lots of goals

Morley? Daley?

Willie Anderson, Ray Graydon

Milner!

Take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two

judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better!

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.

They actually have a Chilli Cook off about the time the Rodeo comes to

town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome.

The notes are from an inexperienced Chilli taster named Frank, who was

visiting Texas from the East Coast.

Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli

cook-off. The third judge called in sick at the last moment and I

happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions

to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the

other two judges (Native Texans) that the chilli wouldn't be all that

spicy and besides they told me I could have all the free beer during the

tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chilli #1 (Mike's Manic Mobster Monster Chilli)

Judge #1 - A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge #2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Holy 5h1t, what the hell is this stuff? You could

remove dried paint from your driveway. It took me two beers to put the

flames out. I hope that's the worst one, these Texans are crazy.

Chilli # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chilli)

Judge #1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge #2 - Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken

seriously.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure

what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people

who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more

beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chilli # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chilli)

Judge #1 - Excellent firehouse chilli. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge #2 - A bean less chilli, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose

feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everybody knows the routine by

now. Get me some more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the

back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting

5h1t-faced from all the beer.

Chilli # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic)

Judge # 1 - Black bean chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 - Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or

other mild foods, not much of a chilli.

Judge # 3 - I felt something scrape across my tongue, but was unable to

taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,

was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb lady is starting

to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an

aphrodisiac?

Chilli # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover)

Judge # 1 - Meaty, strong chilli. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,

adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 - Chilli using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must

admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 - My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I

can no longer focus my eyes. I fart3d and four people behind me needed

paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her

chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding

by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm

burning my lips off. It really p155e5 me off that the other judges

asked me to stop screaming. Stuff those rednecks!

Chilli # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety)

Judge # 1 - Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chilli. Good balance of

spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 - The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

Superb.

Judge # 3 - I 5hat myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat

through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that

Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips any

more. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chilli # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chilli)

Judge # 1 - A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 - Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of

chilli peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried

about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing

uncontrollably.

Judge #3 - (Frank). You could place a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin,

and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost the sight in one eye and the

world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with

chilli, which slid out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like

stuff which matches my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know

what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Sod

it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it

in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

Chilli # 8 (Tommy's Toe-nail Curling Chilli)

Judge # 1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blended chilli. Not too

bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -This final entry is a good, balanced chilli. Neither mild

nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed

out, fell over and pulled the chilli pot down on top of himself. Not

sure if he's going to make it. Poor Dude, wonder how he'd have reacted

to a really hot chilli?

15. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

Brilliant!! :winkold:

quizme, agree about mcgeady, he has his own thread with more clips!

Short link

(sorry cant do the short link thing)

Read the guidelines thread in the Villa forum. It explains how to do short links. It really isn't very difficult.

For Trezeguet see Ibrahimovic!

Both incredibly over rated but i cant say id mind either at villa!

If we have got the spending power we seem to think we would be mad to go for the likes of Gera, Brown (if he did not play for the red mancs he'd be average...and we have had enough injury prone players here) and an untried appiah (he had an excelent world cup but if he was that good teams bigger than the likes of Portsmouth would have been in)

IMO we should move for tried and trusted prem quality to keep the bandwaggon going. SWP should be 1st on board even at te expense of Milner as he has the one commodity the prem cries out for ....bucket loads of speed!

Parker should then be brought from the barcodes which would be pretty difficult as he is worshipped up there, but this only shows how good he is!

Geremi would be pretty damn perfect for the right back slot and could be tempted to leave the money pit if someone came in for him with potential to challenge, and offer him a starting slot. He would also offer versitility for the team.

Klose one of the best target men in europe and although untried in the prem has all the right physical attributes to be a success. German players normally adapt to our game quite easily helped by a good work ethic.

What are you on about nothing in common...

They have Ronaldinio .....we have Hendrie

Also have to agree with the Nou Camp!

It’s not only the actual stadium but the sense of history primarily coming from the museum and trophy room. I left there with the opinion that if I ever make it as a pro (time is ticking as I am 30 in 4 days, the same day as Juampi turns the same magical number) I would consider Barcelona the greatest team outside villa to play for!

1 thing I noticed which summed up the passion there is that amongst all the grandiose trophys and gold framed pictures in the museum someone had actually scrubbed out the face of Figo with a compass...brilliant!

2 cows in a field, 1 says Moooooo!

The other looks at him 'you b*stard i was gonna say that'!

Not really a boom boom joke but by god it made me laugh.....

Take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two

judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better!

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.

They actually have a Chilli Cook off about the time the Rodeo comes to

town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome.

The notes are from an inexperienced Chilli taster named Frank, who was

visiting Texas from the East Coast.

Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli

cook-off. The third judge called in sick at the last moment and I

happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions

to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the

other two judges (Native Texans) that the chilli wouldn't be all that

spicy and besides they told me I could have all the free beer during the

tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chilli #1 (Mike's Manic Mobster Monster Chilli)

Judge #1 - A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge #2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Holy 5h1t, what the hell is this stuff? You could

remove dried paint from your driveway. It took me two beers to put the

flames out. I hope that's the worst one, these Texans are crazy.

Chilli # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chilli)

Judge #1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge #2 - Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken

seriously.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure

what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people

who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more

beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chilli # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chilli)

Judge #1 - Excellent firehouse chilli. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge #2 - A bean less chilli, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3 - (Frank) Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose

feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everybody knows the routine by

now. Get me some more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the

back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting

5h1t-faced from all the beer.

Chilli # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic)

Judge # 1 - Black bean chilli with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 - Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or

other mild foods, not much of a chilli.

Judge # 3 - I felt something scrape across my tongue, but was unable to

taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,

was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb lady is starting

to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an

aphrodisiac?

Chilli # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover)

Judge # 1 - Meaty, strong chilli. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,

adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 - Chilli using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must

admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 - My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I

can no longer focus my eyes. I fart3d and four people behind me needed

paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her

chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding

by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm

burning my lips off. It really p155e5 me off that the other judges

asked me to stop screaming. Stuff those rednecks!

Chilli # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety)

Judge # 1 - Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chilli. Good balance of

spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 - The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

Superb.

Judge # 3 - I 5hat myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat

through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that

Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips any

more. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chilli # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chilli)

Judge # 1 - A mediocre chilli with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 - Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of

chilli peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried

about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing

uncontrollably.

Judge #3 - (Frank). You could place a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin,

and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost the sight in one eye and the

world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with

chilli, which slid out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like

stuff which matches my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know

what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Sod

it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it

in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

Chilli # 8 (Tommy's Toe-nail Curling Chilli)

Judge # 1 - The perfect ending, this is a nice blended chilli. Not too

bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -This final entry is a good, balanced chilli. Neither mild

nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed

out, fell over and pulled the chilli pot down on top of himself. Not

sure if he's going to make it. Poor Dude, wonder how he'd have reacted

to a really hot chilli?

Hypothetically out of these 3 it would definitely be Smith IMO as we haven’t had a decent target man since Dions Injury!

Being Realistic I would prefer Bellamy as I think he would suit our game play better and would mean we hopefully wouldn't go to pieces during the inevitable Vassel lay off next year!

Surly with our "20 million" we should be aiming for slightly higher than a player who could not get in the England squad over Andy Cole......5 years ago!