claretman

Heard this in the Fernhurst last night, cracking atmosphere. Still cant make out the words up to "Tony Daley down the wing like a torpedo" though.

Help please? This is a good chant.

Nigel Spink rolls the ball to Platty,

Platty on to Paul McGrath and out to Tony Daley

Tony Daley down the wing like a torpedo,

Puts the ball in the aiiiiiiir,

To Tony Cascarino!

The only decent part Cascarino ever played for Villa!

Sidwell you penis

It looks like the players are shitting themselves too...Hooooff

Heskey is getting the Carew treatment off the ref ie bugger all

That was a big hit.

Yes, I did! I am loving it really!

This is horrid. They are going to score at some point so we have got to get another.

I think the defence have to take credit today. Not often you play at home and end up happy with a point.

Been coming I'm afraid

We are quite simply hanging on here.

What?! Sidwell? That should do it then.

The problem is, I can't see Spurs not scoring. I think whoever scores next will go on to win.

We are making Eagles and Bikey look like bloody world class stars. Get a grip ffs.

This is dreadful so far, nothing good to report. To much space for the opposition all over the park.

Oh ****.

My wife got a new tattoo, a seashell on the top of her inner thigh. I think its brilliant, cos if you put your ear to it you can actually smell the sea!

So there I was. Naked with lube on my knob. A stegosaurus glove puppet on one hand and a Tyrannasaurus Rex glove puppet on the other, with a whole box of tissues next to me.

How stupid did I feel when I put on the DVD and realised it was called WALKING with dinosaurs!

I like it ^^

What about-to the tune of whatever they used to sing for Viera or Carbone:

Oh Carlos oh oh oh

Oh Carlos oh oh oh

He has to wear a brace

Who cares he's **** ace

Oh Carlos oh oh oh

Ridge-completely different to the liability of last season.

An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands.

He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian

Barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his

accent. Over the Course of the evening they get chatting. At the

end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to

pay her $200 to sleep with him.

As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she

agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and

After showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him

Again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to

agree.

This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again,

orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks

that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more

cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him.

She asks him where he's from in Australia. - "Melbourne", he tells

her.

"So am I. What suburb?" she enquires. "Glen Iris" he replies.

"That's amazing........." she says excitedly, "..........so am I -

what street?"

"Cameo Street" he replies.

"This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering. "What

number?" "Number 20", he replies.

She is totally astonished.

"You are NOT going to believe this........", she screams, "but I'm

from number 22! My parents still live there!"

"I know..." he says, "Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"

^^^^^^ ^^^^^^

So in that case, I want us to sign the best players and in my opinion, Shay Given is one of the best - if not the best - goalkeeper in the Premiership.

Given isn't tall enough. He's another one of the 'Good Shotstopper' club.

Finding a goalie who is a good shotstopper and can command his area is the key, and they are a rarity. I would rather keep Sorenson than get Given.

Please, Mr Oneill, I agree and support everything you do, but PLEASE not Sutton.

ps McGrath is the best defender every to play in the premiership. Fact. Would definitely be in the top 30 players since it's inception.

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted at me "Oi, What's your disability mate?".

I said, "Tourrettes. Now **** off you cu.nt"

I can see ONeill thinking "WTF am I doing thinking about joining this comedy club? F*ck it." And strolling off into the sunset" if this fiasco continues.