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villab0y

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    WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Subject: Moral Situation

    This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

    The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

    Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

    Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

    THE SITUATION

    You are in England, York to be specific.

    There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions.

    You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

    You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

    There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water.

    Nature is unleashing all its destructive fury.

    THE TEST

    Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the

    debris.

    You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...You suddenly realise who it is... It's Gordon Brown! You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. You have two options:

    1) You can save the life of Gordon Brown or

    2) You can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's

    most powerful men!

    THE QUESTION

    Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...

    Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

    WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    'Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?' asked the Irishman,

    walking up to the counter.

    The assistant looked at him and asked: 'Are you Irish?'

    'If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I

    was Italian?' demanded the Irishman indignantly. 'Or, if I asked

    for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?'

    Then, warming to his theme, he went on: 'Or if I asked you for a

    Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?' 'Or, if I asked you for

    a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? ! Would Ya? Would Ya?'

    The assistant said: 'Well, no.'

    Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman

    steps it up a gear.

    'And if I asked you for frogs legs, would you ask me if I was

    French?'

    'What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'

    'Well no, I probably wouldn't' conceded the assistant.

    So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says:'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?'

    The assistant replied: 'Because you're in f***ing Homebase'

    General Krulak (No Transfer Questions allowed)

    in Hall of Fame

    Posted

    General Krulak here:

    1. v1per999: I went on the Board myself and could not find the offensive material...thank you for giving me a better idea of where to go. We will work this issue.

    Its inb the funny picture thread.

    Its a link to an external site with the offending picture.

    Not really age appropriate I guess but not exactly as described.

    WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    An English ventriloquist visiting Waleswalks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

    He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the boyo

    'Hi, mind if I talk to your dog?'

    Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid English t**t.'

    Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

    Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

    Boyo: (look of extreme shock)

    Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

    Dog: 'Yep'

    Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

    Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

    Boyo: (look of utter disbelief)

    Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

    Boyo: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

    Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

    Horse: 'Cool'

    Boyo: (absolutely dumbfounded)

    Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at thevillager)

    Horse: 'Yep'

    Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

    Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the elements.'

    Boyo: (total look of amazement)

    Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

    Boyo: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……'

    WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    A man goes alone to the pub and the bar man asks where his wife is..

    The man repilies "oh she's not talking to me at the moment, you know how women are"

    The barman asks "What have you done now?"

    "its all because I didn't open the car door for her" explains the man.

    The Barman comments "thats a bit petty isn't it?"

    "well exactly" says the Man "I just panicked when i saw the engine was on fire!".

    UFC/Pride/MMA

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    It was a case of who landed that punch first, Chuck was mm's away from landing that upercut but Rashad was faster as he'd been up to that point.

    A good win for him but a really bad loss for Chuck.. he's on the way down.

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