Gizmo

I'm guessing there are going to be lots of UB40 claims to fame

I used to work with one of UB40's daughters. In the year or so that she worked there I don't think she ever spoke to anyone.

I used to work with someone who did Ali Campbell's gardening for three years. He never once paid her for it.

My mate's wife's dad supplied and fitted carpets in Phil Collins' house. He refused to pay on the basis that he was Phil Collins (and he's a word removed).

My cousin was on Pop Idol. Simon Cowell called him "the campest man in the world". Which is a bit rich coming from him.

Hi General. Just out of interest, what ever happened to Villa painting the bridge by Witton train station? It was mentioned on the official site some time ago but nothing seemed to happen.

Painting the Witton bridge

Am I the only one (and I suspect I am) that thinks it was actually TOO easy for us last season? The derby sort of loses its appeal a bit when we know there's virtually no chance of losing.

I didn't even get the chance to give a load of stick to Blue noses because they just admitted they were battered.

Will Barrys fined wages go to Acorns?

What a good idea! Do that and I'll guarantee the footballing world will love us (albeit temporarily).

This is the website where you can check to see a car has insurance or not:

INSURANCE CHECK

Does anyone know if that's reliable? Just out of interest I checked a few numbers that I could see from my window. Less than half of them were insured according to that website.

2. Mrs "K" will be ready for the Intertoto! She has been working out with the first team and is looking good...she could use a little more height but at the age of 63, I am afraid her growing spurt is over. I have purchased some platform boots for her to try and compensate.

I wouldn't worry about it, it never did Alan Wright any harm.

Cheers for the signage answer.

Hi General

A few months back the club were going to auction off all the old signage from before Villa Park's makeover. The auction was postponed for some reason. Is it still postponed? or is it now cancelled?

Alum Rock innit!

It's all about the bad roads/ non stops/ no insurance - more crashes more non stops more people can't afford insurance as premiuims go up and then more non stops and so on!

Yup. I'm probably the only person in B8 that has car insurance - hence it costs so much.

I don't even live in Alum Rock, I live in Ward End which just happens to share the post code.

Cheapest I've got for a crappy old banger is about £1,100 quid. If I lived about 40 feet away in a different post code it would be less than £350.

B8 is, apparently, 2nd only to Moss Side for being the worst insurance post code in Britain.

General, what's the catch??

Why are you guys being so nice?! It's weird. Stop it, you're freaking us out!

Restoring the pub, redecorating the stadium, moving away fans, £200 season tickets, discounts for countless people, you posting on here (something which must surely feel like a chore by now), you personally going out of your way to help people with sometimes trivial problems, free coaches to Chelsea, a great manager, a good young team, half time drinks no longer take 20 minutes to arrive, organising the 25th anniversary, getting Ron Saunders back and now giving shirt space to a local hospice. The list is seemingly endless. Not far off two years at the club and no board member has put a foot wrong.

It can't be true can it? Come on, you might as well own up to the evil plot behind all this? PM me if you want to keep it a secret, I promise I won't tell anyone.

PS: Thanks

Whoever wins I suspect Derby's label as the Premiership's worst team is under threat next year.

Hi General, who had the fantastic 'Acorns' on the shirt idea?

Actually I'll rephrase that. Since you could neither confirm nor deny any 'Acorns' on the shirt idea, who in your opinion would have had the idea, if such an idea were going to be had? Hypothetically speaking of course.

General, I have a quick complaint re Barry (well, not really him, I understand he and MOn and randy have big decisions to make).

But as you know a lot of people are on tenterhooks waiting for news.

That being the case, it gets frustrating seeing stories headlined 'Barry Settled' and 'Barry Vow' on the official site. For the record, the first was about Gareth Barrys England form, the second about Barry Bannan in the reserves.

I know a website is about maximising webhits, and it's a good tecnique for doing so. But the OFFICIAL site shouldn't, IMO, be maximising them by using headlines which they KNOW will be misinterpreted and get people's hopes up.

I'd like to echo that point too. Whoever is writing the headlines for the official site is, to put it bluntly, taking the piss. We regularly get headlines like "NEWSFLASH: Henry set to join tomorrow!!" only to click on it and realise that it's a story about some bloke called Henry Bloggs who has just been hired to clean the bins.

If you have any idea who is doing that, please give him a slap on our behalf and tell him it stopped being funny about two years ago. Cheers

Every time I see David Sullivan moaning on the telly he reminds me of David Brent

According to Tom Ross, we've got the scum to thanks for our Intertoto spot, despite the fact, had Rover won, we'd still have got it anyway thanks to our goal difference. Prick.

And they've got us to thank for relegation. Sounds like a fair swap to me. Muhahahahahaha!

Not really a fair poll was it, given that Luke Moore is crap.

I'm gonna vote the 360. Coz it's easier to make games for!

If I remember correctly, there was talk of doing some kind of DVD of the 25th Anniversary weekend we had against Sheffield United. Is that still in the pipeline or has it been canned?

(Or indeed, did I just imagine it)

...a user on my own website (i will not name)...

It's alright Mr avillafan.com, I'm sure we'll work it out

Great story though. The General's great, he really is.

Two. One of which will be a striker.

Am I the only one who voted for 1?

Number 3 will be out of date in 18 months anyway. It'd be a waste of money!

Number four is dreadful.

Ashley Young and Gabby Agbonlahor are rough diamonds (as you'd expect considering how old they are). Barry and Laursen are the finished article though, so I'm gonna flip a coin and go with Barry. It'd be a tougher decision if Young didn't fall over at the slightest touch.

I swear the muscles in his face don't work. He ALWAYS has the same miserable expression.

It's probably about the same. The percentage of people on here complaining about this that or the other is very small. Just as it is in the ground.

I must admit though, I've never met any Villa fans in real life that are as negative as some of the Villa fans on here. Certainly not since Dougie pissed off anyway.

MON doesn't have an open cheque book anyway. He just has more money than DOL did.