Mandy Lifeboats

4 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

What are we looking at here?

I would guess that it's the actual size/shape of countries rather than how they appear on the standard map. 

I guess that because the equatorial regions are displayed more accurately than the poles?

Dynamite Kid was one of my childhood heroes. But the more I learnt about him the less I respected him.

I'm still sad he's gone. 

6 hours ago, bickster said:

This is illogical given the position of the border controls at each end

Yep. Much of the law is illogical. That keeps me in a job! 

I have just checked and its still the same today. Kent Police are the only UK Police Force permanently operating outside the UK. 

This was the position in the 90s and probably still is.

By agreement UK Police cover  trains from the UK to a line on the French Platform.  Vice versa for Le Police. 

But it's a wonderful agreement as it allows both Police forces to vary from that in reasonable circumstances. French Police can Police the area if necessary. 

Luckily we are both in the EU and if that agreement were challenged an EU court could rule on the matter. 

Welcome to the world of Brexit. 

26 minutes ago, bickster said:

The "no one knows where the train is at the time of the assault" bit is as flimsy as hell. Eurostar trains have timestamped CCTV and the train's progress is tracked.

The nationality of the assailant and the victim is irrelevant

It's one of those textbook problems that would never exist in reality.

The French make the arrest and do the initial investigation to determine whose jurisdiction the offence took place in and either continue or return the offender to the UK dependent upon the result of the investigation

That's a great response Bickster but not correct. 

The French make the arrest?

UK Police powers include the platform at the French terminus. At the time (and probably still) Kent Police had an office there. The arrest was made by Kent Police operating legally in France.

Nationality is irrelevant?

100% corect. 

Timestamped CCTV could establish the location?

Nope.  Movies lead us to believe that CCTV is much better than it actually is.  Even if it could, it's completely irrelevant. 

It would never exist in reality?

It did. 

This is a really interesting topic that I've studied in the past.

American law is a nightmare as it's drawn from the law of many different countries depending on the state. 

This particular legal problem comes from an ancient English law that you should always be tried by the people who live in the area where you committed a crime. 

Here's a real problem I worked on........

An Englishman assaults a Frenchman on a train somewhere in the channel tunnel. No-one knows where the train is at the time of the assault. The train is going to France. The Englishman is apprehended by Police waiting at the French terminus. 

Where do you hold the trial and why? 

Harry Redknapp said that it was a terrible ordeal beinget surrounded by spiders, webs and complete darkness. But all Spurs managers are expected to look in the trophy cabinet. 

Harry Redknapp says that it was a terrible ordeal having to eat pigs anus and cockroaches. But all Blues managers are expected to eat in the staff canteen. 

1 hour ago, bickster said:

We should celebrate, you just came out of the closet  

Sorry to ruin a fantasy........ but I'm male and my real name isn't Mandy.

My real name is actually Boaty McLifeboats.

Last night Mrs Lifeboats and I were at a restaurant. The couple at the next table were on a date that wasn't going well. 

Him: Shall I get you a gin?

Her (grumpily): I don't drink gin. 

Him (grumpily): You told me you were a vegetarian but that's your second plate of meatballs.

Airfix and their HO/OO scale was the curse of my childhood. I loved their soldiers and had almost every type. But as I grew up it became obvious that the scale varied greatly. My US paratroopers were all notably larger than my German Infantry. I specifically remember the D-Day set being very relaxed with its scales.  I couldn't play with toys of different scales. That way anarchy lives.

Accidental damage》 It's pretty hard to accidentally damage your buildings and cause major financial loss. Double glazed windows don't break easily. Unless you are going to do something very stupid like cutting down an oak tree yourself,  the fabric of your house is unlikely to get severe accidental damage. 

Legal Protection 》Legal disputes can arise for bizarre reasons you could never anticipate. But they are pretty rare. I've never taken it out and never regretted it. 

Home Emergency 》This is an awkward one. I live in a rural community and finding workman willing to come out at unsocial hours and not charge a king's ransome is impossible. My insurance company guarantee* finding the right people and footing the bill. That's worth a lot in peace of mind. Its worth it for me. But if I had strong contacts through family or business then I'd have a different opinion. 

*it's less of a guarantee and more of a commitment in most circumstances. 

Fridge is a shortened word for refrigerator. 

Why did we add a "d"?

There was a game where the home team didn't turn up. I think Scotland were the away team. The referee insisted they kicked off before awarding the game. I'm not sure if they had to score into the empty net???? 

100% possession for the match.  

Can anyone add any details into my vague memories? 

This thread reminded me of the Sun headline about a transsexual Police Officer who won an industrial tribunal.

No Nobby Bobby Keeps Joby. 

Can anyone tell me what that film was that had all the Gremlins in it?

Can anyone tell me the name of that 80s American sitcom where an ex baseball player ran a bar?

Cheers. 

I've felt like that in almost every job I've done. The nagging doubt that you have done the wrong thing and wanting to go back to something more familiar. But if the last post was so great, why did you even consider the new one?  I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it.  But don't do it yet. 

On a practical note is there someone who does a similar job who seems to be a success?  If so go and talk to them. Ask them if you can put 15 minutes aside every week to chat. 

I do that "old hand" role for my organisation with any new managers. Most feel like you. The ones that don't tend to be overly confident. 

If you can't find anyone in your own organisation drop me a private message with your email. I certainly know NOTHING about software development. But I have 30 years experience of dealing with people's bullshit.

Wow. That's one of the better looking ones.

Make-up not put on with a shovel. 

A retired friend is going for a job as Santa at the local shopping centre. He doesn't need the cash. I think he's just a weirdo who will probably be on a register some day.

Anyway...............

He knows the interviewer asks the question :

What would you say to a child who asked for his dead mother to come back for Christmas?

Wow..............

Anyone got any ideas?

My suggestion was to say "Yep. It's guaranteed" as you will never see them again. Apparently that wasn't helpful. 

52 minutes ago, Risso said:

Most courts in the UK don't have gavels. Just sayin'.

No courts in the UK have gavels. It's one of those TV myths like horned viking helmets and attractive flight attendants. 

Just sayin'

It's illegal to lie in a legal matter. It's called perjury if you lie to a court. If you lie in the lead up to court it's perverting the course of justice. 

I didn't say that was a GOOD idea!

Our various owners don't have a track record of successful  long term strategy.

That's why we are in a certain Creek without a certain propulsion instrument.

Either the board has a brilliant way of working around FFP or we're gambling everything again.  

Sadly I think it's the later and we're going to be well and truly badgered next season. 

The only thing I can think of is that the board have asseseed the potential penalty and think it's going to be a transfer ban. But with the players we have under contract we can cope with a year without new players. 

44 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Nah, she wasn't even going to KFC, taking her mother to the opticians next door

 

Read between the lines.

It's illegal to lie but there are easy to find excuses that have succeeded in the past.