gort

Dip in form my lord........

Tricky few weeks my lord.......

Testing times my lord........

Keep the faith my lord.........

Squeaky bums my lord

Fourth place is all ours

Fourth place is all ooouuurs

**** off Arsenal

Fourth place is all ours

I've got a new one - I think it may just catch on. You may know the tune. It's "She'll be coming round the mountain"

Here we go - all together now...........

Iiiiiiiiiiiffff Heskey plays for England so can I

If Heskey plays for England so can I

If Heskey plays for England

Heskey plays for England

Heskey plays for England so can I

'He started alright, He's still **** shite, Trudging in a Heskey blunderland'

'Bouma is back, Bouma is back hello hello!'

Must be sung against Spurs if he's on the bench

i hate that on the piss my lord chant... its bent

i sit in the lower north and some chaps are trying to get the song ajax were singing when they came to villa park, its a proper chant and hopefully it will catch on, if u dont know what chant it is here is the link

I like the idea of the Ajax chant Get it started .. get a video aswell?

i can`t for the life of me work out what english words would fit it

WHAT ABOUT -

YO YO YO YO YO WE HATE BIRMINGHAM

YO YO YO YO YO WE HATE BIRMINGHAM ETC

O O O O O O O Stiliyan Petrov!

Whats happened to the official site saying what allocation we have taken on the tickets page? It was handy to know what allocation we had so we knew whether we had to get our tickets quickly or not, but for both the Liverpool and Man Utd games it's been missing

What sort of attendance we expecting for the Stoke game?

James Milner played Chelsea on his own today. And only got beat 1-0.

He might as well of.

You joking? His crossing was awful. Cech is 6'6 so Milner decided to cross everything right to him, clever

Chelsea win, 2-0

How many we sold for the Moscow game on Wednesday and what attendance do we expect?

'The elephant man

The elephant maaaan

Joleon Lescott the elephant man

Got hit by a bus

Got hit by a buuuuus

Joleon Lescott got hit by a bus'

And there was me thinking you play football to win trophies, silly me.

I suppose we can all tell our grandkids about that year we finished 4th

No brainer for me.

Beat chelsea.

Momentum is very important, and I don't want us to lose any of it.

So if we lose at Everton and crash out of the cup we won't lose any momentum then?...

We don't go after the top players anyway...

So people would rather win one game that MIGHT see us finish fourth than win two cup ties that would DEFINITELY put us through to the next rounds?

I'd rather finish 5th and win either cup

I wouldn't because we already have 4th in my opinion, we have already done enough.

Its Feb!!?? Not May!

Im with BCV 100%

Arsenal will only get 6 maybe 7 points from their last 5 games.

Says who? BBC predictor?

We MAY lose to chelsea, get knocked out of UEFA Cup, knocked out of the FA Cup and then we have - Man U away, Liverpool away, Man City away, Everton home, Spurs home

We COULD by the end of March have blown everything and season be over. Not saying we will, but it is a possibilty.

At the end of the season, if we have win the FA Cup and you go to Wembley and Villa finish 5th- I will PM you and ask you this " do you wish we got knocked out by Everton, or do wish we beat Chelsea? "

The answer will be easy

Spot on that.

And PB you honestly believe they'd rather beat us and go out of the Champions League? What a load of rubbish! If they lose to us they could still easily finish 3rd or 4th and they will still be in with a chance of winning the trophy they want to win the most, the Champions League

So people would rather win one game that MIGHT see us finish fourth than win two cup ties that would DEFINITELY put us through to the next rounds?

I'd rather finish 5th and win either cup

its one game that might provide the fuel for the proper title challenge. its one game that MIGHT propel us to first.

Win or lose we will NOT win the league. Man Utd are too good

I can just see on a Chelsea board now 'Would you rather beat Villa and lose to Juventus in the Champions League or lose to Villa and go through in the Champions League?'

yeah right

So people would rather win one game that MIGHT see us finish fourth than win two cup ties that would DEFINITELY put us through to the next rounds?

I'd rather finish 5th and win either cup

Option B everytime.

Losing one game against Chelsea won't ruin our season and ultimately won't determine where we finish, but lose in the cups and you're out, simple as that.

I'd rather win either of the cups than finish 4th anyway

A man is sitting in his living room watching TV when all of a sudden the door bursts open and his girlfriend storms through. "You **** asshole!" she screams and heads into the bedroom.

Stunned, the man walks toward the bedroom, wondering 'now what have I done?'. Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a suitcase. He asks her what's up.

She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that I should leave you and that you're a paedophile!"

The man responds, "Wow... paedophile............... that's a big word for a 12 year old."

I'm pretty sure almost everyone on here would still shag the ginger one. I would so i could sell the story to the News of the world, 'My night of passion with the ugly ginger 'un from Girls Aloud'. There'd be a picture of me on my bed in the paper pointing to a ginger hair left behind then i'd tell them how i was thinking it was Cheryl as i did the deed

Cheryl. She's probably my favourite celebrity woman (although Lily Allen is running her close these days) never mind just being the hottest in the group

How are sales going for Everton away and both the Moscow games?

Thanks

'With Ash on the leeeft

And Jim on the riiiiiight

They'll feed Jon and Gabby

We'll score goals all night'

I'm still best mates now with all the lads i was best mates at school with (i'm 21).

When i was at school i used to hate it most of the time, i hate being told what to do and don't like authority. I didn't do any homework for about the last 2 years I was the kid who was bright but messed about, the class clown always playing up to my mates, always distracting others and loved being the centre of attention. Not being bigheaded but at times i found the work too easy and boring which resulted in me pratting about.

Most of the teachers hated me, apart from my English and P.E. teacher because they were the only subjects i liked. My Geography teacher was a Villa fan but he hated me, mainly because there was a lad in my class called Luke Portsmouth and me and my mate used to spend every lesson singing oh when the saints go marching in at him and we lassooed him with the Christmas baubles off the wall. I remember he wrote in my report 'James decided it would be funny to rip the christmas decorations off the wall and lassoo them round someone's head like a Cowboy'. I'm sure he didn't mean it to be funny that comment but it tickled me.

One of the things that stands out now looking back was me and my mates used to go to the shops every dinnertime and we'd buy the Daily Sport everyday to read the stories people had sent in. We always maintained they were made up so we decided to write our own, we chose the subject of 'I nailed my best friend's mom'. We wrote it that we went round to his house but he wasn't in, she invited us in etc etc. Anyway i remember after we'd wrote it i decided to get it out my bag in Maths, iw as sat at the front of the class and i turned round in my seat and started reading it out to the whole class. I read the whole story with phrases like 'I inserted my mutton dagger into her dripping wet snatchet', our teacher just sat at her desk shaking her head and at the time we had two inpsector type blokes sat in the corner of the class looking shocked and making notes. I always wondered what they wrote down, 'Boy read out a graphic sex story to whole class. It seems he's having an affair with his friend's mom'.

Looking back i would still hate the homework, most of the teachers and the swotty/stuck up kids but i do miss the craic. I could fill a book with the stuff we got up to and the tales i've got

'England, It's just like watching England'