theboyangel

I honestly believe Kewell is gettable - he desperately needs to resurrect his career after a poor show thorughout his Liverpool stay and following the Champs league final I think he'll be shown the door..

He would add a more attacking dimension to our game and could fit in either midfield or upfront behind JPA...

Imagine a line-up with him on board:-

...............Sorenson

Hughes, Mellberg, Laursen, Samuel

.................McCann

.......Davis...............Barry

Solano........................Kewell

.................JPA

Smicer is too hot or cold IMO and wouldn't be a great purchase and it looks like Hammann will return to Germany

As for Mellor - no thanks, he couldnt cut it in the Championship let alone the prem and we have (for the time being :winkold: ) Luke Moore as our 'back-up' striker..

Out of the Liverpool 'clear-out' I'd hope we put in a bid for Kewell, Kirkland or Baros (dreaming about the last though!)

Didn't Craig Moore leave Borrussia due to him turning up pissed to training???

I think he'll retire or go play back home in Oz.....

when we didn't sign Beattie in the summer I was gutted but considering his performances up until the January transfer when he signed for Everton I was slightly relieved!

he certainly hasn't justified the £6m price tag since either and showed what a nob jockey he can be both on and off the pitch with the 'running headbutt' sending off and the bun chucking in the restaurant!

Still, we could have done with another striker this season with Vassells injuries, JPA's inconsistancy and Cole's non entity!

according to SkySports:

Aston Villa are the latest English club to be credited with an interest in Espanyol's highly-rated defender Albert Lopo.

David O'Leary's side are rumoured to have sent an agent and scout to see the centre back feature in the 3-0 win against Numancia at the weekend.

The Catalan club appreciate the fact that Lopo's contract expires in 2006 and are believed to be willing to discuss a transfer if they cannot tie him to fresh terms.

Manchester United have watched the 25-year-old but have yet to make a decision over whether to bid for the player.

Villa are reportedly willing to open the bidding for Lopo and could be the mystery club the Spaniard has referred to in his most recent statement to the media.

"There have been negotiations with several teams but there is one in particular we are speaking to at the moment," he said.

"It would always be nice to play for a top side in England but, at the moment, I do not have an offer.

"At the end of the day, it is down to Espanyol, as I am under contract to them, and whether they receive an attractive offer."

Lopo has been linked with a number of Premiership clubs in the past but Villa's name is a new one in the frame.

A new 'experienced' CB to compliment Mellberg and Laursen is needed IMO. Ridgewell is good but at times has looked desperately amateur, i'd like to see Cahill have another loan spell before throwing him into the team.

Hasn't Bernerd been extremely poor for Southampton this season.? I think he has forgotten how to defend.

He should fit in with our current fullbacks then!!!!! :winkold: :winkold: :winkold:

What's the latest bull in the sunday tabloids today???

have to agree with you there Lancs ^^^^^

another one season wonder IMO....(but hope he's bags his first hat-trick today against SHA!!!)

I'd put Ashton alongside Stead, Ricketts (remember him??!?!?) and to some degree mssrs Beattie and Phillips....

here's a suggestion... as it's been reported today that Liverpool have agreed an £8m deal to sign the Spanish keeper Reina, why don't we take Chris Kirkland off their hands???

I know he's injury prone but the lads young and more importantly a shit hot keeper to boot! they've also signed Carson so Ck's days must be numbered up there!

Just a thought..........

Personally I'd like to see the following

Kris Commons from Forest (£1.5m) LB/ML

Robbie Keane or Yak (£5m-£8m) ST

Scott Parker (£5m) MC

Zoltan Gera (£2.5m) MR

that's £14m - £17m... leaving £3m for a RB but who???? Please no one suggest Danny Mills!!!!!! Maybe Glenn Johnson???

Ridgewell - he broke into the 1st team last season and has looked pretty good when called upon - i'm sure in 5 years time we'll be rejoicing in our solid central defensive partnership of Ridgewell and Cahill!

September 1974

It's second only to the Sunday Mercury in shite journalism - I refuse to buy it as it's written and read by inbreads

I think we should stick with Olly - he's a rock at the back and a true pro, rarely puts a foot wrong and has had to deal with a different central partner for most of the season (hopefully now Marty's fit they'll strike up a mean combo)

He's the man for the job for me

how about our own David Platt - nice bloke, did well for us and the Arse

Off the list though i'd go for Zola - how could anyone say a bad thing about him???

Tricella says;

I dont believe that it will be major signings, if any. Villa might get two more in before deadline...one on free or loan...and the other with a transfer not higher than £1,5-£2m.

It's that desperate, I can't even see that happening!!!!

Seriously though tricella, who are we going to buy at that price??????

I was quite optimistic that we'd sign someone in this transfer window- even after the Beattie furore!

Now i'm resigned to the fact that Doug wants to take the club to the grave with him and we'll sign nowt...... I just don't want to hear Doug saying "we should have achieved more........" at the end of the season when we narrowly miss out on Europe again!!!!!

For me, Rugby Union (way better than League!). I was raised by a rugby fanatic and disappointed him when it was apparent my first sporting love was Villa!

TBF, I can watch any sport if it's on - yep even snooker!!! There's no better way of having an afternoon nap after work than flicking on the old snooker and resting those eyelids!

Although, it's got to be said, I can't watch any Horsey shit, be it racing or show jumping! pure drivel, almost ranks up there with darts!

i'd take the Yak, would also love to sign Malbranque but currently I feel a striker is required more than a midfielder... at the club we only have JPA, DV and the Moore brothers - (not including No Goal Cole)

I can only drool at the prospect of a three pronged attack of DV, JPA and Yak! just imagine - pace and precision!!! it would be beautiful...... 8)

1. Hitz - have tracked his career at Villa since his arrival from germany, great player with great potential and also a nice bloke - probably has the best accent at VP - deutche-brummie :wink:

2. JPA - he is a hero!

3. Mellberg - as above, both are superb professionals and great ambassadors to the club - we should be proud (unlike L'il Lee - who endlessly attempts to embarass the club with his tabloid escapades)

Subject: Medical breakthrough

A man went to an urologist and told him that he was having a problem; he was unable to get his penis erect.

The doctor checked him out, then told him that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged from a previous viral infection and that there was nothing he could actually do for him. ; However, he knew of an experimental treatment that might work, if the man was willing to take the

risk.

The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into the man's penis. The man thought about if for a while. The thought of going through life without ever experiencing sex again was just too much for him to bear.

So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or adverse effect on

the elephant, the man decided to go for it.

A few weeks after the operation, he was given the green light to go try

out his newly renovated equipment. As a result, he planned a romantic

evening with his girlfriend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants

in town.

However, in the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful.

To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his penis immediately sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his trousers.

His girlfriend was stunned at first, but then with a sly smile on her face said, "That was incredible! Can you do it again?"

With tears in his eyes, he replied, "I think I can, but I'm not sure if another bread roll will fit up my arse..."

some quotes from the edinburgh fringe festival

The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be

sh*tting herself.

(Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance)

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I

was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me

to sleep at night.

(Susan Murray at the Underbelly)

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind

people were given pointed sticks?

(Adam Bloom at the Pleasance)

My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when

I Was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t.

(Susan Murray at the Underbelly)

Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?

A: The ultrasound people.

(David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon)

I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I

looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, "Say

something funny then." I told them I had just graduated from flying

school.

(Ahmed Ahmed at C34)

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She

said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All

right, but we're not going to get much done."

(Jimmy Carr at the ICC)

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms)

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on

its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself

that they're enjoying it as well.

(Scott Capurro at the Pleasance)

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help

thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

(Jimmy Carr at the ICC)

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend t ells you,

because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite

flower?"

And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ... Self-raising?"

(Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms)

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and

punched someone in the face.

(Jeremy Limb, at the Trap)

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

(Jimmy Carr)

My friend said to me: "You must be more American," so I went to have

botox. The surgeon said to me: "That's $8,000." I couldn't even look

shocked.

(Shazia Mirza at the Pleasance)

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought

the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

(Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron)

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the

Girl out of Cork ...

(Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco)

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.

Turned out it was a bloody hoax.

(Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance)

A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".

The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go

join The circus?" The dog replies: "Well, what would the circus want

with a plumber".

(Steven Alan Green at C34)

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a

winner and a loser at the same time.

(Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms)

An American girl hit on me in a club and asked me to make her an

Egyptian princess. So I threw a sheet over her head and told her to be

quiet.

(Ahmed Ahmed at C34)

Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big

sign that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a

try... What a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus!

(Seymour Mace at Café Royal)

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've

already got one!"

(Norman Lovett at The Stand)

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(Chris Addison at the Pleasance)

Ask people about God nowadays and they usually reply, "I'm not

religious, but deep down, I'm a very spiritual person." What this

phrase really means is: "I'm afraid of dying, but I can't be arsed

going to church."

(Colin Ramone at The Stand)

50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p.

(Sarah Kendall at the Pleasance)

I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this

sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I

feel?"

(Arnold Brown at The Stand)

'Schindler's List' ... I got that out, thinking it was a porn movie.

Well ... the title's in German ... and it did feature a shower scene.

(Ricky Gervais at The Playhouse)

This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a

pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to

buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (100-legged

crawler), which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and

decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's

with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited

a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?

A little voice came out of the box:...........

"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my f***ing shoes!."

Three Tests

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a very large jar behind

the bar. It's filled to the brim with ten dollar bills. The man guesses

there must be thousands of dollars there...He approaches the bartender and asks him: "What's up with the jar?"

Bartender: "Well, you pay ten dollars and if you pass three tests then

you get all of the money."

Man: "What are the three tests?"

Bartender:"Pay first. Those are the rules."

So the guy gives him the ten bucks and the bartender adds it to the jar

with the other bills...

Bartender: "Ok, here's what you have to do. First you have to drink that

whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can't

make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back

with a sore tooth. You have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a 90-year-old woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You got to make things right for her."

Man: "Well, I know I've paid my ten bucks but I'm not an idiot, I won't

do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get

crazier from there...

Bartender: "Your call. But your money stays in the jar."

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat

teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands, and downs it

with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks but he does not

make a face... Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear a huge scuffle going on. They hear barking, screams, yelps and growling, and eventually silence.

Just when they think the man must surely be dead, he staggers back into

the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body...

"Now," he says, "where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

very poor JC! ^^^^

anyway-

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the

newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She

thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day

and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and

the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town an kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock, and no

hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine,

waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as

she directed.

"Now take off my boots." Ever so slowly, he did as she asked.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them

neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her

eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was

told and dropped it to the floor.

"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly

pulled them down and off.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into

town again, you're fired!!!"

Strikers usually win these type of polls - and with JPA in the team it's easy to see why! He is a class act but I have voted for Mellberg -

since his arrival, Olof's been a true professional and has adapted to the club and style of play excellently. He's our captain and leads by example

Without Angel in the team, we struggle but can still win games - without Mellberg we're shite!

The word 'rock' is so apt!