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Understand now. Sorry for making that alot more complicated than it needed to be. XD

Ahhhh! I just understood what you were saying. I have a cold (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.. I'm not thick, honest)

I thought you were saying that no alcohol could be purchased in the county it is made in.. the '(or any other alcohol beverage)' bit confused me.. whereas you're actually saying that Tennessee is a dry state..

his was only about 18,000 feet though

Pffft, I've fallen off higher walls..

Pedant!!!!!!!!!!!

What I should have said was

You can't buy Jack Daniels (or any other alcoholic beverage) in the county Jack Daniels is made in

This makes even less sense!

Carlsberg is brewed in Northampton but I can buy it quite easily here...

I heard a similar version of Rob's second from last joke :

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, well I have some good news and some bad news.

"What's the bad news?" he asked

"Well, I'm afraid that your parrot, he is dead" "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, Senor, that's the one." "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse." "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor Rod." "My prize thoroughbred is DEAD?" "Yes Senor Rod! He died from all that work pulling the water cart. "

"Are you insane?? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor." "Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!" "Yes, Senor Rod." "But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"What funeral?!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod."

"My wife is dead?"

"I'm afraid she died of a heart attack after the letter came through that your home insurance expired last month"

"Well...what's the good news?" he asked.

"Well, you see... you'll like this.. it's excellent news.... all the heat from the fire and the increase in worm activity from the rotting corpse of your dead horse has made your tomato plant shoot up - it's gone up a foot in a week."

I had Guinness in the Guinness Brewery.

(Edit: Erm - that's a response to Wiganvillan - not a piece of trivia )

now you DDID are nothing like what I thought you would be !!!

Seconded. I had him pegged as a grumbling old man with a stick and a can of John Smiths

I don't blame them for that, as such - I blame the FA for chickening out of doing something about it sooner.

Had the FA said something then West Ham would have been forced to not play him. Put yourself in their shoes - if it came to light that Carew had been playing illegally for us, does that make us cheating scumbags?

While I admit that they surely knew the Tevez deal was dodgy, it was up to the FA to investigate it and stop it from happening - and Hammers didn't exactly keep the circumstances of the Tevez deal secret. They said right from the word Go what sort of deal it was... West Ham worked on the principal of No News Is Good News - it was the FA who **** up by being too chicken to do anything about it at the time.

Edit: It may be the Premier League responsible actually, not the FA - but either way.. it was dealt with badly.

West Ham aren't exactly enjoying smooth sailing either - but I can't laugh at them as they are victims of the credit crunch.. not really anything their players could have done about that. Losing your sponsor and your millionaire chairman being made penniless in the space of a month of each other is pretty damn unlucky, and I actually feel kinda sorry for them.

Spurs and Newcastle though I have no sympathy for at all.

Spurs for me too. Can't stand them or the media wankfest that surrounds them.

Bonobos, which are pygmy chimpanzees, are famous for having LOADS of recreational sex. I know that this dolphin thing was a fact floating around a while ago but I think it has now been proved wrong. Alot of animals do have sex purely to reproduce, more through biological instinct than knowledge Paddy, but I'm sure there are quite a few that have sex for pleasure.

Talking of school and useless trivia...

Dom Joly went to school with Osama Bin Laden.

You watched Would I Lie To You on Dave tonight aswell then?

They will never be out, I keep them in fashion

Pioneer! That's the spirit.

The David Ginola one was what started this!

But the Peter Risdale one is good

Mother In Law is an anagram of Woman Hitler.

A Rope Ends It is an anagram of Desperation.

Public Relations - Crap Built On Lies

Snooze Alarms - Alas, no more Z's

Eleven plus two - Twelve Plus One

Tension Headache - Deaths Inane Echo

Playmate of the Year - Ahoy! A pretty female.

That's the best of the ones I can remember (with the help of a couple of websites)

I don't have a partner at present - but I like to think that I certainly wouldn't. I haven't in the past.

No option for absolute loyalty I see?

Edit: Didn't see your edit.

14. Ah, young love.

There was a shop in Netherhayford, Northamptonshire that was a small building in between a butchers and a bakers... they made the pies from ingredients from the shops either side and they were the nicest pies I have ever had. But the shop isn't there any more I know this was a completely poiintless post for that reason, but sod it, I wanted to say it anyway

We get big catering pies now from our local pub. Costs about £20 for the pie but we cut it into portions and freeze them and we get about 12 big pieces out of it. Beautiful pie.

Swindon Town is the only team in the football league not to contain any of the letters in Mackerel.

Brilliantly random.

The shortest sentence (that makes a vague bit of sense) that uses every letter in the alphabet is 'jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz'.

Ah yes.. the $1000 "application" that put a red glow to your screen, to show people that you could afford to do that so they bow down to you.

Yes. She is an idiot.

and a white and milk mixed

That must be the one I was saying about. It didn't just seem like ordinary milk chocolate though.. Im sure there was something different about it.

I have now ender4

Looks like we're in a minority at the moment.

I didn't even know they did a fruit and nut one.

When you get the packs of the individual triangles there is another one in there too.. it's in a blue wrapper and has a white chocolate tip, but the main bit is nougat. Quite nice actually, havent seen that done as a bar though.

I love the dark chocolate Toblerone.

I haven't tried this new one.. but I assume it's just like a small triangular crunchie bar.