AJ

1 minute ago, KSV said:

Rumour has it De gea has gone home early

I thought Gestede had snuck on the pitch, but De Gea has gone home and stuck up a scarecrow between the posts.

There will be a goal 5 minutes before and/or after halftime. That train is never late.

Aston Villa line up:  the usual gang of idiots. I hate this so called team and what they have done and are doing to this beautiful and proud club. We have lost this game before kick off. We are QPR 2.0.

Usually in a team, if you have one good player and 10 shit players, that player is made to look even better. Unfortunately, we don't have one good player.

Well done Ayew. One of the few that give a damn. Its hard enough just playing Bournemouth, but made harder when you have to play against dickheads in your own team.

Well done, Bacuna. That's how you throw in in the Champions Cup.

Any time now. Cue the "injuries" and the blatant fouls to dodge playing.

52 minutes ago, trekka said:

Well this looks promising.

On another note, has anyone microwaved corned beef?  I'm tempted but I fear it'll turn into a sludge that will be destined for the bin. 

I have. My microwave is the same colour as Bournemouth's away strip. The corned beef came out claret and blue. Binned it after one bite.

Also, whenever a player proclaims their love for the club, I get suspicious if the accompanying photo doesn't show the player's hands, as I suspect they may be flipping the bird out of frame while saying it. Its probably paranoia on my part though. However, what a player says, and with what is offered on the pitch seems to seriously contradict. They not only play like they hate Villa, but play like they hate football too, and  daydream of what could have been if they paid more attention in school.

I remember a movie from the mid 90s, called Mars Attacks! It was a bad to average movie, but there is a scene from it which comes to mind so often lately. In this particular scene, the martians are running around killing everyone they can see, while in the background, the interpreting device is sprouting crap like " We come in peace. We mean you no harm. We are your friends." Now, whenever I hear from a Villa player that they are doing their best, that they are hurting too, or they still believe they can make safety, like a dog hearing Pavlov's bell, my mind goes to this particular  movie scene. Either for me this is an easily drawn similarity, or Villa have driven me nuts.

9 hours ago, Pilchard said:

Surely we haven't sunk so low as to play Bin Laden at right back.

Tie him to a post in the box at the other end. Then bench Gestede because his job is taken.

Another game of slow build ups against a set organised defence, where they will opt either passing down the flanks for a cross into the box to the lone striker who doesn't move against 4 defenders, while every other player treats the box like it is surrounded by barbed wire, or they will take the other option of just passing it to a Bournemouth player. Villa zero goals. The Villa defence versus a motivated Bournemouth attack who want to get payback for losing to such a crap team in the first game of the season. A defence consisting of Lescott and Richards, who both would rather be back home in bed in their comfy homes, continue to show their disinterest in playing football. As for goalkeeping, you may as well have Guzan and Gestede trade positions, the results will be the same. Bournemouth, at least 2 goals.

Final score: Bournemouth 2 Villa  0 in a game as exciting as watching your toenails grow. The only excitement will probably be coming from the stands.

49 minutes ago, villa4europe said:

I've never seen any team ever go down like we are, even the shittest Derby and Sunderland teams didn't give up like we have

Villa are going down easier than a porn star.

19 minutes ago, R.Bear said:

The only thing more embarrassing than the performance was the "protest".

Changes nothing, helps nothing, fans look like morons and makes us a laughing stock to every other team.

At least there were some people in claret and blue at Villa Park who gave a s***.

Hutton suspended. Bournemouth disappointed.

Awful ref

Can we at least appeal to the Player's Association to tear up some contracts. There must be a performance clause in their contracts somewhere, in which the majority of these clowns must be in breach of.

I am now looking forward to the 74th minute, where I will get to see some people wearing claret and blue making an effort and trying to make a difference, which is exactly what is not happening on the pitch.

Conceding right before or right after half time. Happening way too consistently. Do they get into a huddle and discuss how they plan to concede this goal, and afterwards awarding points for creativity in how they concede? Happening way too much, so they must be doing it on purpose!

I used to love watching Villa play. I cant believe that this club is now represented on the pitch by such heartless useless w*****rs.

1 minute ago, dounavilla said:

His position skills are equal to a blind Seagull.

A blind seagull is still better than Richards.

Instead of Richards, maybe experiment with Sanchez there. Good defence, but his passing is criminal.

16 minutes ago, ReasonforRevolution said:

I've watched Jack at Under 21 level. I thought he was a cut above. A class act. I was certainly championing his first team credentials. His off field displays in the summer were silly but like many I brushed it aside as I thought it was a one off. Against Notts County earlier in the season i saw a humble lad give a young fan his boots and show appreciation to the County fans, it was exemplary. One of us if you will. The problem is at the moment he is behaving a bit reckless and spoiled. The 'Sherwood' method of building him up saying he is a £30 million player was only a short term fix and was always going to have repercussions. Still it could be argued we only saw his full potential in the semi final and against Blues. Amidst all this he announced himself for England and with murmurings of the Euros his ego was once again being pampered. His performances were suffering though. I think something had to give and for him to reach his full potential over time he needed the Garde treatment. In the long term it was in his best interests because he cannot get away with what he did after Everton and maintain a solid career particularly nowadays. (See Gabby) What concerns me is the reports that senior players revolted against Garde for punishing Jack. For me if the captain(s) were fulfilling their role they should of spoke to Jack and supported the manager decision whilst encouraging him to fight his way back into the team. Instead they stoked the fire to push their own agendas. It is that kind of guidance than can damage a young career. Whilst he has to take responsibility for himself with the right coaching he can get back on track and hopefully fulfill his potential. But time is running out and he is walking a well trodden path. He should ask what Ali and Barkley are doing different. The problem is for Jack managers and fans alike are now looking at (for example) Andre Green (and in terms of England Ali) in the same light we once looked at him. If his attitude isn't adjusted he will be overlooked as there is always someone waiting in the wings who wants it more and that would be a true waste.

Yes.

My Gran would do it for free. She is always looking for an excuse to get out of the house. Her conditions are everyone is to wipe their boots before entering the change rooms, when she brings in her famous pumpkin scones, everyone is to share, and no more than 2 per person ( looking at you, Gabby). No bad language, Grealish to change his shirt name to Tweety, and two of the bigger lads to help her up and down the stairs.

She is keen, and her severance pay would just be a plane ticket home. If it doesn't work out.