Dale

Bloody hell Norway your a bit mad aren't you! Vassell the jewel, Barry is the bloody JEWEL!!! and didn't you see his Maradona spin Vs. Spurs it worked aswell! I don't like Ronaldo OTT tricks anyway!

Bit harsh on Moore Jr. only just breaking into the premiership which is a HUGE step

On a warm summer evening, a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was hot and thirsty and said to no one in particular, "Gosh... if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him." There was a bear on the shore and he thought, "If that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump up for the fly and I will catch the fish and eat it."

A hunter was further up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. "Mmm" he thought,"If that fly goes down three inches, the fish will jump up for it, the bear will expose himself and grab the fish and then I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch."

Now, you are probably thinking that this is enough activity for one bank of a lake but there was more.

A mouse was by the hunters foot and he thought, "If that fly goes down three inches, the fish will jump up, the bear will grab it, the hunter will then shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich and I'll have a decent lunch."

Lurking in a bush, was a cat and he thought, "If that fly goes down three inches the fish will jump up, the bear will catch the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear and drop his sandwich , the mouse will make off with the sandwich and then I can have the mouse for lunch."

The poor fly is so hot and dry that he drops down for the cooling mist of the water...the fish swallows the fly...the bear grabs the fish...the hunter shoots the bear...the mouse grabs the sandwich...the cat leaps for the mouse...the mouse ducks...the cat falls into the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is.....

Whenever a fly goes down three inches.....

Some pussy is probably in danger!!

Forget the three inches I prefre the moral...

When the fly goes down.

The pussy always ends up getting wet!

Blandy I really hope Sven changes his job maybe take over Man U to hold them back a bit!

Could only be the BBC for me!

I blamed James for that Postiga penalty which actually was so slow it bounced

:lol:Like that one:lol:

also born in '88 great year but not for Villa... When Olof lifts the cup I'll be there however much it costs, I'll probably go bankrupt on that night as I hope to still be a student at the time give it 3 years...

I wasn't born :cry:

*Dion's

Hendrie Vs. Notlob, great goal his first in 13 months... You could see what it ment to him, aswell.

I actually liked Dopn's over-head Vs. Southamton...

Bloody hell Ligs your one hell of a pessamist...

It has to be Top 4 - that is the next step up from Top 6.

But, of course, knowing us we could easily be fighting relegation again...........

Not if we keep super Dave!!!

I say fourth... A few more signings and we WILL progress.

Chelsea fans I saw also said outside of the top 3 only 3 clubs can hold onto their best players... Us, barcodes, red scouce...

Yes indeed a shock signing is possable.

Although Ryu to get DOL to even know SA footy you'll have top write to him...

@ Kalim...

england join up for their first Euro 2004 training session when Sven notices shit on the pitch he turns to the squad and says "who's shit on the pitch" Emile Heskey raises his hand and sayus "me, but I am good in the air"

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

FR: MANAGEMENT

RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity

from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well

trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone

else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in the job,

please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of

the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing

that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL

EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to

take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE

TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't

have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training

others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST

(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and

can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.

S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF

TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Q. What do you do when your dishasher breaks down?

A, Cheer her up and get her back to the sink

:lol:

Q. Which is tthe odd one out: A Washing Machine, A television Or a woman

A, The TV the others leak when they're ****

^^^ like it but didn't start off as a Manchester joke with scouce b*stard...

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt". After this, you can handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee-deep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and consequently, married the Happens brothers in a Shitt-Happens double ceremony.

The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt. Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

A man goes to a bar and the fag machine is shouting at him

On the bar these Peanuts are telling him how great he is.

He asks the barman "What is going on"

To this he replies "The Fag machine is out of order and the peanuts are complementry"

A man with a stutter goes to the Dr's and complains and asks the Docter to give him some help

The Docter takes a look at him and tell him the problem is the size of his penis, its to big.

So the man stutters to him to take some off.

The Docter does so and the following day the guy comes back looking depressed he says "thanks Doc this is great but I'd rather have a bigger cock, can I have some back please"

To this the Docter replies "F-F-F-Fu-uck off"

Off Topic:

I have only one shirt with a name on the back of it: MURRAY number 24.

It is the old '96 away shirt (?), the dark blue one.

At that moment Murray was a youth player and the shirts where on sale so bought one.

I don't have one thing with this Murray but I am curious what happend with the player.

Anybody an idea?

I presume you are referring to the Scott, Scott Murray, the lad went to Bristol City and was a very successful player there. This season he was sold for 'big money' in nationwide terms (£750,000) to Reading! He may one day return to the premiership.

P.S we got some money from the transfer!

Well in recent games Hitz has been assisting at least twice a game and vassell has found his scoring boots!!!

What do you think is this form short term or over a longer period of time.

I hope they keep it up, look @ their ages 10 more years of this available?

:roll:

we can work at it if the team works well, who knows Angel + Vassell reach twenty (wishful thinking!!!)