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Si.

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    Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Anybody got any helpful tips on moving on/letting go? Ive been split up with my long term partner for nearly 5 weeks now. At first i was ok, but as time has gone on and the more people tell me of what shes getting up to now, I feel broken.

    Ive started the gym again which has helped. But I've also been hitting the booze hard as well as A class drugs, which make everything better for so long then everything a million times worse when you wake up with a comedown the next morning.

    Im a mess and I really don't know what to do.

    I'd kill her so she can never be happy again.

    I jest, it's a tough one as everyone deals with it differently. I have been in the situation you have been in before and it is hard. I split up over Christmas and for a few months I thought she would come to her senses and get back with me... when i found out she was dating someone else I felt lower then ever. I got drunk, texted her some hurtful things and she responded by saying it would be for the best if we cut contact completely (we had kept some contact prior - odd text, email, etc)

    The complete lack of contact was a godsend as I moved on with life and started dating again. You have to accept she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Be grateful of the good times you had together and the memories, you will always have them but you need to look forward and not back. Do you think if she has moved on and is enjoying life and she knows you are getting drunk and high at home she is going to regret her decision? Hardly.

    What you need to do is stop drinking heavily and doing the drugs and get out with your mates for meals and social events. Surround yourself with good people and you won't mope so much. Keep in there pal, it will get easier with time :)

    Thanks Xela mate :) I just can't wait for 2015. Fresh start and all.

    Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Anybody got any helpful tips on moving on/letting go? Ive been split up with my long term partner for nearly 5 weeks now. At first i was ok, but as time has gone on and the more people tell me of what shes getting up to now, I feel broken.

    Ive started the gym again which has helped. But I've also been hitting the booze hard as well as A class drugs, which make everything better for so long then everything a million times worse when you wake up with a comedown the next morning.

    Im a mess and I really don't know what to do.

    Sorry to say that there are no quick fixes.

    You are in mourning for the life you thought you were going to have, and like any other bereavement, all you can do is work your way through the process of getting used to it.

    It will not go away, you can only get used to the feelings of loss and disappointment.

    Booze and drugs will offer some temporary respite but you always have to come back to your feelings, in the end.

    You will feel better eventually but it takes longer than five weeks, so just hang in there and try not to indulge your misery too much.

    Yeah I know it takes time mate, it just sucks that I'm feeling like this and Xmas is just around the corner.

    Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Well, quitting the booze and the drugs is a good start. As you said, it just makes things that much worse and you're definitely not going to fix things that way.

    It's hard moving on because you always have that thing at the back of your mind that says, 'Well, what if I move on and then she wants to come back, sees that I've moved on and then doesn't say anything and I've ruined my chances with her for good?'

    Can I assume that the stuff you're hearing about regarding your ex are things like... she's doing really well or seeing another guy? I'd try and avoid any news regarding her if you can, you need to go cold turkey for a while and fill your daily life with other things. The gym is a good start, what about a hobby? Is there anything you've always been interested in pursuing?

    You just need to throw yourself into a few things and keep yourself busy. The times when you have nothing to do are the times that you really start to think about her and miss her and wonder if you've done the right thing. Things will be okay. I really think one of mankind's greatest attributes is the ability to adapt and this is no different. Have you ever been in love before this girl? Whenever I've been a bit lovesick I always think back to the first girl I ever fell in love with and remind myself that I got over her and learned to feel that way about someone else. There's no one person for you in the world, there's plenty of other girls that you may even fall for even harder.

    Being drunk and on drugs isn't a good way to meet someone new though.

    Thanks for the advice Ginko. You are totally right in what you say. I know it's highly unlikely that we will get back together but subconsciously I think there is still a chance and it's preventing me from moving on.

    I was dealing with it ok until a friend of mine text me saying she was tagged in a photo with another guy. She says he is her friend but they do look like a couple in the photo. That's what really hit home.

    I have been in love before but it was 10 years ago when I was 17. I'll be honest I can't really remember too much about it. It all feels alien to me, being single. It's scary and after being with someone for over 4 years it's strange.

    I'm trying my hardest not to contact her but I'm failing miserably now. I hadn't text her for weeks but as soon as I saw that photo I felt compelled to. I wish I didn't know about it. I just feel like an idiot now.

    Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

    in Off Topic

    Posted

    Anybody got any helpful tips on moving on/letting go? Ive been split up with my long term partner for nearly 5 weeks now. At first i was ok, but as time has gone on and the more people tell me of what shes getting up to now, I feel broken.

    Ive started the gym again which has helped. But I've also been hitting the booze hard as well as A class drugs, which make everything better for so long then everything a million times worse when you wake up with a comedown the next morning.

    Im a mess and I really don't know what to do.

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