Jump to content

futumtch

Full Member
  • Posts

    87
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by futumtch

  1. Typing errors made by church members who have the task of typing up church bulletins and parish newsletters.

    Here goes :

    The sermon this morning : ‘Jesus walks on the water.” The sermon tonight : Searching for Jesus.”

    The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet on Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

    The ladies of the parish have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

    The altar servers are saving soft drink cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.

    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    The church will be hosting an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

    Due to the parish priest’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

    When the ill priest got better the following notice appeared in the church bulletin:

    ‘God is Good! Father Harris is better!”

    The music for today’s service was all composed by Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

    The Altar Services Society will be presenting Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ in the church basement on Friday at 7pm. Parishioners are invited to attend this tragedy.

    22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs Marsha Crutchfield last night. Mrs Crutchfield and Mrs Rankin sang a duet, “The Lord Knows Why.”

    A song fest was hell at the Methodist church last Sunday.

    The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

    Potluck supper : Prayer and medication to follow.

    The Outreach Committee has enlisted 25 parishioners to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast on Sunday morning.

    The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

    For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

    Don’t let worry kill you off – let the church help.

    Ladies, don’t forget the jumble sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands along.

    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be : “What is hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

    This evening at 7pm there will be hymn singing in the park across from the church.

    Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

    Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm in the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double-door at the side entrance.

    This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

    The Chairman of the Parish Finance Committee unveiled the church’s new fund-raising slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

  2. Well there you go! Just think, if you'd wired them the money the way they want you to you'd be well and truly farked now. eBay would not have helped you.

    This is what pisses me off about eBay, they just don't react quick enough.

  3. The people I went after were 100% guaranteed, stonewall scammers who would either hijack other peoples ID's, OR setup thousands of new ID's from which to scam from. eBay are so slow to react that there is enough time for the scammers to lure in many unwitting victims.

    Whatever the techniques the scammers use, they all want payment via unsafe (untraceable) means. i.e Moneygram/Western Union and not safe ways like PayPal (although that's not strictly true either when it comes to Nigerian scammers buying from unsuspecting sellers).

    While your seller may not have perfect feedback they don't meet the criteria I've outlined above.

    Brace yourself for customs issues though maybe.

  4. I figured that was who you were trading with. I guess they would have been long NARU'd had they been a scam outfit.

    Hope it works out. Keep us updated.

    PS I used to go after the eBay scammers hence the caution on my part.

  5. Just won an auction on ebay for a new Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ50. Can't believe it but I managed to get it for a bargain price of £137 inc delivery! 12x opt zoom, 10.1 megapixels, maual focus, hot shoe slot, SLR like adjustability. Can't wait to play around with it!

    Is your seller from Hong Kong/China? If so I would be very cautious.

  6. The fall is always about a choice. Father respects every individual entirely. He respects every heart enough to allow them to choose their own destruction, if they will, albeit, not without many and protracted warnings. People hear what they want to hear and disregard the rest.

    Yes, the end of all things will come because people have willingly and knowingly rejected God's way. He tried to warn you.....

    So lets say Man destroys himself. There's no one left to hear Gods voice. Back to the drawing board for God?

    1st project: Dinosaurs = failed

    2nd project: Humans = failed

    3rd project: ?????

    His record's worse than Billy McNeil :P

  7. The work of a true believer, be he Messiah or street sweeper or anything in between, is to hear the Voice of God and follow His instructions to them, regardless of the consequences.

    Do you?

    While I was initially indoctrinated to follow God at an early age, God never spoke to me. Infact, he's not really speaking to 99.9999999% of humanity apart from 'true believers' like yourselves. Why is that? That's pretty poor dontcha think that God has lost his grip on us all.

    If it's a case of His voice is there but we are just not hearing it then whose fault is that? Design us some better hearing next time.

    On a more serious note, if humanity is indeed heading for a big fall will it be solely our own doing while God watches on or will God have a hand in wiping the slate clean?

  8. If this michael really is the Messiah,what is he doing living in this camp in america..why cant he walk over the atlantic and help the starving kids in africa ?

    There are 10.000 children dieing evry day..why can't anyone help them ?

    He's not that sort of Messiah. He's not here to sort out world economics/politics or to combat evil or eradicate diseases. He's here to live like on a what looks like a trailer park on a remote piece of desert and hook up with a few chicks while the rest of us spiral down into oblivion.

  9. Terry, could you give us a small update on Matthew? He was portrayed as a lonely figure (perhaps unfairly?) in the documentary and I've not seen him post anywhere as far as I know. Perhaps you can tell him that Pluto has now been declassified as a planet if he didn't know already. :)

    Infact, will any of the children undergo any exams so as to obtain recognized real-world qualifications......just in case?

  10. One of the reasons people think we will blindly drink poison and kill ourselves is the wonderful spin doctors of our day. We are told David Koresh and the Branch Davidians killed themselves those many years ago. If you did some research, you would find out this is not true. Films like “The Waco Lie” and “Rules of Engagement” clearly demonstrate the Davidians were murdered by a cult who does not like people to live in a free manner. There is also a lot of controvery about the real events that happened at Jonestown, the home of the koolaid story.

    Think about it; the Davidians were held up in their own compound and were a long ways from any other neighbors. The government could have sat there for years and waited and watched. But because they are the true cult, and claiming to save the children (the same uproar we hear), they (U.S. Gov.) went in and torched the place to the ground.

    I can accept that the handleing of the Waco debacle was the major cause of so many deaths. As one great late comic noted: "...yet I've seen with my own eyes footage of a Bradley Tank shooting fire into the compound".

    So what was the deal with the Heaven's Gate group? Is Jesus a regular user of spaceships hiding behind comets?

  11. I wish to ask some hypothetical questions.

    At 66 years of age the vessel of Wayne Bent is no spring chicken. What will happen if/when he passes on? Will Michael re-ascend, perhaps taking his followers with him (all 70 or so of them)? What would this 2nd coming have achieved with 6.5 billion others seemingly unaware of this event?

  12. I have yet to see the documentary (I have it ready to watch though) but this thread and others elsewhere have helped me to prepare for the possible slanted portrayal by the filmakers.

    Apart from their beliefs, the Travesser community lifestyle doesn't sound a million miles away from any Amish community i.e non dependant and self-sufficient. Would that be a fair assessment or am I doing the Amish a disservice?

    The "God told me to do this" is what bothers me the most as that "excuse" could be used to justify any action. That's not good!

  13. I'm not sure shagging your son's wife (several times) comes top of the list of many people's moral code.

    Ah but when God tells you to do it, it makes it alright cos it is Gods will. You can't go against Gods will can you Terry? :roll:

×
×
  • Create New...
Â