A.J.Rimmer

Bloody hell Arnold Judas........have you been in prison???? :-)

Nope. I've been sulking because our pc moderators do not believe in freedom of speech.... apparently something they had in common with Ms Dando.

Goodbye... Auf Wiedersehen... Au Revoir... Arrivedechi... Adeus... Adios... before they say it for me.

I suppose the big question is, if not him who and was Crimewatch to blame then as Crimewatch pisses a lot of Criminals off i would think...

I was very unhappy about the original verdict. The prosecution's case was extremely flimsy and I'm delighted Barry George was aquitted today.

At the time of Dando's death, I knew one or two Serbs who were very proud of having settled their account with Dando.

Given the support she expressed at Nato's missile attack on the TV station in Belgrade and the consequent loss of life amongst local jornalists, I find it difficult to shed any tears for her.

Before I answer, I want to know if Wurzel was joking... I'm sick of arguing these things all on my own.

I think wurzle was (indirectly) calling you a f*ckwit

More seriously however, I wonder what people think about motorcyclists not wearing crash helmets. There has to be some argument that the wearing of helmets, especially the closed in ones, is more likely to make you crash, particularly in built up areas where your hearing is affected.

Tell me you're joking :shock:

Before I answer, I want to know if Wurzel was joking... I'm sick of arguing these things all on my own.

You won't get out the car very quickly when your face is imprinted on the steering wheel...

Good One!

If anyone smacks me from behind he's going to get the kicking of his life. Not wearing my seatbelt just means I can get out of the car quicker to administer the kicking. Hows about that for a good reason not to wear your seatbelt?

You've just got to love this guy.

More seriously however, I wonder what people think about motorcyclists not wearing crash helmets. There has to be some argument that the wearing of helmets, especially the closed in ones, is more likely to make you crash, particularly in built up areas where your hearing is affected.

Should not everyone have a moral right to make that decision for themselves? If one felt it necessary, they could sign a disclaimer refusing medical treatment in the event of an accident.

I'm sorry, I think it's an unwarranted restriction upon our liberties.

Wear one, please? Just for me??

I always thought you wanted to get rid of me.

... Ah! I see. It's the other fellow you're worried about... Thanks a bunch.

I'm no traffic cop, but I would imagine your above scenario is pretty far fetched. I'd guess the frequency with which that happens, is more than balanced by those incidents, and they DO exist, where lives were saved by people being thrown clear.

Right, but what right do you have to decide whether someone else dies or not?

That's an easy one to answer: I also have to think about being available to help anyone else who might be trapped or need other assistance.

I'm sorry, but pottering around town at 20/25 miles an hour, I don't really buy flying though the window and killing someone else... which is not to say it's impossible.... just very very very unlikely.

[quote="dont_do_it_doug

I get your point, but what if it does end up affecting someone else? What if you end up going through the windscreen and injuring another? That's the real reason why it's Law, it's not just your life your taking into your hands.

I never wear one. They make me feel claustrophobic.

Not wearing one could make you feel dead. That's a crappy excuse AJ.

I'm sure you're right and I'm not stupid enough to argue with you.

People, like Juju, who get to see the results of not wearing seat belts must know what they're talking about, and the statistics bear them out.

I just don't like being told what to do, and feel that for seat belts and crash helmets, as for booze, cigarettes and drugs, people should make their own choices. Which does not, in my opinion entitle them to demand others to pay for the consequences!

I never wear one. They make me feel claustrophobic.

I also drive with the window open regardless of weather. I like to have a true sensation of my speed, rather than make the mistake of thinking that nothing outside can penetrate my cosy liittle cocoon and hurt me.

Incidentally. I do encourage others to do so.

Agree with VF and Grant.

I think his temper tantrums will get the better of his supposed attributes and that he will fail.

Where's Cadbury's Dairy Milk on this list.... easily the best.

No thanks.

A plane is on its way to Toronto when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for 'Economy' and that she will have to go and sit in the back.

The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here!'

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy seat and will have to return to her original place.

The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Toronto and I'm staying right here!'

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, 'You say she's blonde?'I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!'

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. The pilot replied, "I told her First Class isn't going to Toronto."

What do you call a policewoman who shaves her pussy?

Cuntstubble.

Not for the first time I agree, in part, with everyone.

However, I think we'll be surprised next season and return to the top half of the table.... 'cos football's a funny old game.... I have faith (Don't tell Oz).... and we are ASTON VILLA.

He'll die at the helm because he can't bear to give it all up.

So who'll die first ? The club or Ellis?

Ellis.

And I also think Ellis is more concerned by selling to the right people, rather than getting the highest price possible. He is, rightly so, concerned with his legacy.

Is he bollox.

ellis comes first, second and third in ellis' thinking. The club is his plaything, no more, no less. Guaranteed photo in the papers for managing to climb four steps a fortnight without pissing himself.

Not for the first time I agree, in part, with everyone, Bob, Gringo & BOF.

I'm able to perform this mental contortion for one simple reason, which everyone appears to have overlooked. It is this: Ellis lies to himself.

He believes he's trying to find the right buyer. He believes he's acting in the good of the club. He believes the price is of secondary importance. He believes we all love Cuddly Uncle Doug.

He'll die at the helm because he can't bear to give it all up. I think we should be assuring him that our first act will be to rename the Witton Lane stand.

WIVES:

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive

The Labour Party have today changed their emblem from a rose to a condom, as it more accurately reflects the Labour government's political reality.

Their spokesperson said:

"A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you are actually being ****."

Man goes to the dentist.

"Open wide," says the dentist. "Oh, I see you had oral sex last night."

"My God!" says the man. "Have I got a hair stuck in my teeth."

"No, shit on your nose."