SummerofGeorge

Villa Rob said - Oh I was bitter when those players left but I wouldn't say anyone really thought they were hopeless and possibly married to their cousin. We shall give Brett his chance I imagine, it's just all rather underwhelming, I'd have been happier if they had given Carlos and his patchy facial hair of wonder, a new contract. However if Brett does a Roger Johnson and turns up for training with a flagon of scrumpy, a buxom bar wench and his brand new Baby Bentley combine harvester, he better take care, I mean Gabby will have the lass knocked up in about 14 seconds for a start.

Maybe during the next game if Bolton get a free kick around the box we can drove a herd of cattle or geese across the penalty area to distract them. It's agricultural football perhaps, but innovative.

We have signed a player his own fans refer to as "the village idiot"? It might work, perhaps he will be able to distract the marauding incisive central midfielders of our opposition with his homespun barely comprehensible chatter, thoughtfully chewing on a peace of hay whilst wearing a smock and large hat before toppling very slowly backwards off a farm gate or dry stone wall? You have to give it to Alex, he's thinking outside the box.

Plus look on the bright side, the last transfer we announced with an extensive time lapse before the player actually rolled up, was Edna Stevens. While he has not torn up any trees on the playing side as yet, I am led to believe his uncle did a really first rate job re-tarmacing the managers drive.

I'm not having that, Jenas was the quintessential Villa signing we have all come to love. On loan, overpaid and seemingly made from brittle sticks. Months getting match fit, runs on to the pitch, falls over almost at once, out for the season, while we pay his wages and ease another of Droopy the Dawgs White Hart lane worries. It's exactly that kind of ruthless business acumen and scouting savvy that has enabled us to achieve the dizzy heights of being 15th.

He appears to be sporting an Alice band. Thats a bit 1998 frankly and doesn't bode well, unless he turns into the new Benito Carbone. But then he has been signed by Mcleish so I'd wager it will be more probable he will turn into the new Benny from Crossroads. Oh I'm newish..again, so forgive me if I breach any arcane rules of etiquette. Well, until I do so deliberately obviously.